About shugacube : Most of these fmls I would like to hear the other side to the story or more of it. Especially the outcome. Also show me a picture of the person who's writing the post. That would make this awesome!
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shugacube's favorite FMLs
Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML
by RC3Welly / 03/09/2009 at 6:58pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy
Today, I decided to do a load of laundry. Two minutes into the cycle, I realized that I left my iPod in my sweatpants pocket. The washing machine door locks automatically and cannot be opened until the 40-minute cycle is up. FML
by DumbDinosaur / 03/09/2009 at 11:01am / United States (New York) / Geek
by goodbye / 03/08/2009 at 8:45pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love
by Noname / 03/08/2009 at 9:34am / United Kingdom (London) / Miscellaneous
Today, I went to my guidance counselor and told her how I'd been fascinated with space since I was 12, had read about the universe and everything, and how I want to be an astrologist when I grow up. She stared at me for a second, before saying, "But you're... stupid." FML
by astroloser / 03/07/2009 at 11:10am / Philippines (Rizal) / Miscellaneous
Today, I went to the ER for severe pain in my abdominal area. The doctor comes in after looking at the CT scan and says, "Well it's not your appendix." Thinking I'm in the clear I say, "That's Awesome", the doctor then responded with "It's probably your testicles." FML
by 06SuFi / 03/06/2009 at 7:43pm / United States (North Carolina) / Health
Today, I overheard my parents having sex. Trying to be the reasonable person I was, I dismissed it, realizing that sex is just normal. I quickly walked past their room when my cat ran past me into their room, cracking open the door. Now my parents think I was peeping and need therapy. FML
by Kathrynn / 03/06/2009 at 7:41pm / United States (Oregon) / Intimacy
by Noname / 03/06/2009 at 2:04pm / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy
Today, I yelled at my little brother for leaving the toilet seat up and told him he needed to go around the house and make sure they were all down. I went to the bathroom later to find that the toilet seats and covers from every toilet had all been removed and were sitting on my bed. FML
by wetbutt / 03/06/2009 at 12:49pm / United States (Connecticut) / Kids
by oconron / 03/06/2009 at 1:09am / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous
Today, there was a story called "Looking Good" about fashion in school that ran in the local newspaper. On the front page of that section it featured a picture of my class. I was photoshopped out. FML
by failout / 03/05/2009 at 4:36pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, at the dentist, I was getting my teeth cleaned. Looking up at his nose, I saw runny snot dripping onto his lip. I tried to slowly move away. He told me "Stop!" The movement of his lips caused the snot to fall right into my mouth. FML
by Noname / 03/05/2009 at 2:44pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Health
Today, I received a card in the mail. It was from my vet's office. Written inside was "We send our sympathy during this trying time." I haven't been home in three days. I can't find my dog and my mother won't talk about it. My dog was 7. She hated that dog. FML
by nochance / 03/05/2009 at 11:06am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Animals
Today, it was my birthday. I set up a dinner party for 20 of my closest friends. I arrived at the restaurant, fully dressed and everything. When I got there, I thought everyone was ready to surprise me, but instead, nobody showed up. FML
by STUPID BIRTHDAY / 03/05/2009 at 2:24am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, my wife and I were driving to the gas station, she let me out before she pulled up to the pumps because I had to buy some things from the store. I returned to see my wife proudly filling the tank. Smiling, she told me that diesel was cheaper than regular gas. We don't own a diesel car. FML
by Damn_her / 03/04/2009 at 7:04pm / Canada (Nova Scotia) / Love
- Today, I was coaching some kids in table tennis when I told them to try a forehand loop, or smash.… Today, I visited my parents with my four year old. My son started to excitedly tell his grandmother… Today, I was at a restaurant (which is 1 hour away from home) with my family eating dinner. I went…