About shugacube : Most of these fmls I would like to hear the other side to the story or more of it. Especially the outcome. Also show me a picture of the person who's writing the post. That would make this awesome!
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shugacube's favorite FMLs
Today, on the train, I got excited when I suddenly noticed I had a missed call and voicemail from a boy I liked. With a grin on my face, I told my friend. My dad overheard and said, "oh sweetie, he probably had the wrong number." The voicemail was blank. I texted him. The call was an accident. FML
by lyssanthamum / 04/08/2009 at 10:35pm / United States (New York) / Love
Today, at lunch I was running to my group's table with my friend. She accidentally tripped me, and I slid across the café floor face first on my belly. The whole cafeteria was silent. They then broke out in hysterics when the head janitor ran up to me and yelled 'SAFE!' like a baseball umpire. FML
by eun / 04/08/2009 at 9:42pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
Today, I got all my co-workers motivated. We were all going to quit and walk out the door. I went first. I gave an emotional speech to my boss and threw my uniform to the ground. Then I turned around to to see the rest follow, they all began laughing. They didn't. They WANTED me to quit. FML
by ineedanewjob / 04/08/2009 at 8:34pm / United States (Missouri) / Work
by nothing / 04/08/2009 at 4:42pm / United States (New Jersey) / Kids
Today, I met a guy online. We talked all night long and hit it off amazingly. He told me he'd never felt that way about anyone else, and I agreed. He sent me a picture and he was gorgeous. I sent him one after he assured me he didn't care what I looked like. I haven't heard from him since. FML
by DL06 / 04/08/2009 at 3:19am / United States (Arkansas) / Love
Today, I was on a flight from Chicago to Minneapolis. A rather attractive young lady sitting next to me fell asleep at the beginning of the flight. About 40 minutes into the flight I noticed my fly was open. The lady woke to me with my hands in my crotch struggling to zip up my fly. FML
by saltynutz20 / 04/07/2009 at 2:12pm / United States (Minnesota) / Transportation
Today, I went on a date with this girl I met online. The conversation drifted and we were talking about how we'd prefer to die, if we had a choice. I said, "I want to skydive over the ocean without a parachute." She said she wants to be made into a wallet. FML
by no_leather_of_any_kind / 04/07/2009 at 3:08am / United States (Oregon) / Love
Today, I was going to have sex with my Hispanic boyfriend. I wanted to turn him on, so I asked my friend how to say "fuck me" in Spanish. She claimed it was 'pollo frito'. I then had sex, constantly screaming 'pollo frito' for an hour. I later realized I was screaming "fried chicken." FML
by FML.. / 04/06/2009 at 3:51pm / China (Hebei) / Intimacy
Today, I went on a date with a guy for the first time. We went to Starbucks and got coffee. We talked for a while, and we were joking and having a good time. Suddenly, he put his hand on my stomach and said, "Soon, this will be plump with my seed." FML
by creepermagnet / 04/06/2009 at 3:39pm / United States (Maryland) / Love
Today, while at work at Wendy's, a lady came through the drive-thru with her kid. As I was handing them their order, her child points to me and exclaims "mommy, I thought you weren't supposed to work at places like this when you get older". FML
by Frosty / 04/06/2009 at 3:13am / United States (Georgia) / Work
Today, I was having sex with a girl I had just met. After about 5 minutes in, she said she had to go to the bathroom. So we stopped and she went to the bathroom. After waiting around 10 min, I decided to check if she was ok. The window was open. She was gone. FML
by dfhgblsf / 04/05/2009 at 3:15pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy
by HDCkid / 04/05/2009 at 4:48am / United States (California) / Work
Today, my biology teacher told me that every Friday we should wear a hideous shirt to count down the last days of freshman year. So when Friday came around we decided to have a contest for most hideous shirt. I won. I forgot to wear a hideous shirt. FML
by Anonymous / 04/04/2009 at 7:06pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
by GuitarChick42 / 04/04/2009 at 2:15pm / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 04/03/2009 at 10:07pm / United States (Illinois) / Kids
- 1Today, my parents let me babysit my baby sister for the first time. About an hour after they left,… 2Today, I saw an elderly lady fall over in the street. Nobody bothered to do anything, so I went… 3Today, I was fired for being late to work, even though the only reason I was late was because I had…
- Today, my supervisor at work took me into the back room, saying "several other cashiers complained… Today, I found out that a very close friend of mine masturbates to photos of me on my Instagram and… Today, after working 6 days a week, making well over overtime and happy for a well rested day off,…