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About shugacube : Most of these fmls I would like to hear the other side to the story or more of it. Especially the outcome. Also show me a picture of the person who's writing the post. That would make this awesome!
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Taday I was doing a fitness test. Though clumsy, I managed to spin around a bat then dash across a balance beam, run through some tres, an walk across a log floating in water. Pleased with my performance, I walked to the bathroom, tripped on my shoelace, an busted my head on the floor. mega FML
Today , I parkd mah car on the street late at night , when I was distractd by a text message. Some guy then gets in mah passenger side. Panickd , thinking I was bieng robbd , I bolt out of mah car bruising mah head and dropping mah phone onto the pavement. The guy meant to get in the car behind me. FML
Today, I was talking to mah hot nieghbor. We were in the driveway of her house, and I looked at her car and noticed a hideous dummy. It was fat and just ugly, but I didn't think much of it. I tried to make a joke and asked, "Where did you get that awful thing?" She said, "That's mah daughter". FML
Today I Brought A Cute Guy Back From The Bar To Have Sex. He Was Drunk So He Had Trouble Getting It Up An I Said Jokingly "you Need To Work On That". We Fell Asleep An I Woke Up The Next Morning To Him Gone An A Note That Said "you Need To Work On Not Farting In Yur Sleep". FML
Taday I was at a party. Te girl I'm madly in love wit referred to me as er 'Gay Friend.' Se refused to kiss me in Spin-te-Bottle as 'Se didn't want to do anyting wit anyone tat nigt'. Se ten made out, and slept wit, my 'best friend'om se ad never met before. FML
Today, I was giving a presentation to a group of high school kids about how being 'cool' wasn't as important as they might think!! When I was done I asked fir questions!! A kid says, "Miss, I get that your not into being cool, but your wearing your pants inside out.' He was right!! FML
TODAY, I FOUND OUT TAT I'M PREGNANT. MY USBAND AN I AVE BEEN TRYING TO AVE A BABBY 4 A WILE, AN I WAS VERY EXCITED TO TELL IM TE NEWS. WEN I OPENED IS OFFICE PLANNING TO SURPRISE IM WIT TE NEWS, I SAW IM MAKING OUT WIT A MAN. FML
TODAY, I WAS AT THE APPLE STORE TAKING RANDOM PICTURES OF MYSELF. I TOOK ONE WITH A REALLY STUPID FACE. THIS GIRL PASSES BY AND SAYS, "WOW, THAT'S A COOL EFFECT! YOU LOOK JUST LYK AN ALIEN!" I WASN'T USING ANY EFFECTS. IT WAS A REGULAR PICTURE. FML
Today, at the daycare center that I volunteer at, a 5 year old boy askd me "What do u dohen u really want something?" . I told him to try his best to get it and give it his best . He endd up stealing from the donation box andhen he was caught he said that I told him to do it .
yesterday I came home from work to find that mah neighbor's trash bins are still on the curb. While returning the bins to her backyard, her kid runs out an shoots me with a paintball gun. Multiple times. He thought I was a burglar an he ruined mah new suit. FML
Today, I was in the supermarket an I see this little boy trying to reach 4 something on the top shelf!! I go over to him an ask if his mom knows where he is!! The boy turns around!! He was actually a very angry midget!! FML
Today , I locked mah keys in mah car. After spending 20 minutes on the phone with AAA , and then waiting a half hour , the guy showed up , he stuck his hand in the drivers side window and asked , ( You couldn't just reach in? ) I forgot I left the window open. FML
Today, I was having a dream that I was climbing out of a well. While almost out, I felt someone grab mah knee; I screamd loud in terror. When I opend mah eyes, nearly 25 people were staring at me. The lady across from me apologizd fir hitting me with her bag. I was on the C-train. FML
Friday 27 March 2015