![[fr]](http://cdn5.fmylife.com/fmylife/images/flag_fr_hover.gif)
![[it]](http://cdn1.fmylife.com/fmylife/images/flag_it_hover.gif)
![[es2]](http://cdn5.fmylife.com/fmylife/images/flag_es2_hover.gif)
![[tr]](http://cdn5.fmylife.com/fmylife/images/flag_tr_hover.gif)
![[de]](http://cdn2.fmylife.com/fmylife/images/flag_de_hover.gif)
![[ru]](http://cdn1.fmylife.com/fmylife/images/flag_ru_hover.gif)
![[se]](http://cdn1.fmylife.com/fmylife/images/flag_se_hover.gif)
This member hasn't filled in the description.
Checking you out
You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.
Beginner
You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.
I moderated this!
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
Today, my grandpa told me what he'd do if he was president. I sat there for 30 minutes listening to how he'd get rid of prisons, send all the prisoners to a desert for 5 years and give them a gun to fight over. And then he'd surgically attach child molesters' penises to their foreheads. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21820) - you deserved it (3847)
On 08/23/2011 at 10:46am - intimacy - by Andrew (man) - United States
Today, I cheated on my math exam. I still failed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8156) - you deserved it (48599)
On 02/26/2011 at 1:49am - misc - by hopeless (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, after some passionate love making with my husband, I accidentally farted on his leg. He shrieked and frantically began shaking his leg while screaming, "Get it off! Get it off!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (14687) - you deserved it (22489)
On 02/22/2011 at 4:02pm - intimacy - by CutieBooty (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I brought home a ukulele I had just bought. Excited, I showed my dad. He then looked at me, smirked, and said "Just like everything else you have, it's a bit smaller than normal." FML
I agree, your life sucks (23849) - you deserved it (3715)
On 02/18/2011 at 2:55am - misc - by Austyn -
Today, while sitting on the couch, my boyfriend came over, pulled his penis out of his fly, and started stabbing me in the face with it while humming the Jaws theme. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37530) - you deserved it (10101)
On 02/15/2011 at 2:28pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I finally found out why my fish were dying in their tank. My younger sister had been spraying detergent in there because she wanted "to make the fish smell like lemons". FML
I agree, your life sucks (22943) - you deserved it (1778)
On 01/07/2011 at 7:12am - kids - by carrottop - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I went shopping with my new "It's true, I'm a Ninja" shirt on. Suddenly an apple comes and hits me right in the eye. A little boy runs up to me, yells "You aren't a Ninja! A Ninja would have caught that!", and runs off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15525) - you deserved it (44454)
On 11/07/2010 at 8:13pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I told my 3 year old daughter to behave or I'd spank her. She looked right at me and said "Bring it." FML
I agree, your life sucks (23239) - you deserved it (20151)
On 09/12/2010 at 9:38pm - kids - by Username - Sent from mobile version
Today, someone whistled, so I turned around. The guy behind me then said: "Did you seriously think that it was meant for you?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (26722) - you deserved it (3163)
On 09/12/2010 at 10:04am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Denmark (Hovedstaden)
Today, I made a mistake at work that got 7 people fired. I'm scared to leave the office because they're all outside. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11037) - you deserved it (45513)
On 08/25/2010 at 3:13pm - work - by Joel - United States (California)
Today, my mom was taking an online IQ test. To the question: 'On what continent is Canada located' she responded 'Antarctica.' If intelligence is genetic, I'm screwed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23532) - you deserved it (2183)
On 08/10/2010 at 7:19pm - misc - by Brandon (man) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I went to an elementary school for volunteer work. I was asked to read to a group of kids during one of the classes. Before I started reading, a girl raised her hand and asked me if I had a boyfriend and if I was single. I asked her why and she said "My daddy wanted to know." I'm 16. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24630) - you deserved it (2478)
On 08/04/2010 at 10:40am - misc - by LaRae17 (woman) - United States (Maryland)
Today, I walked in on my cat trying to mate with my favorite sweater. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19427) - you deserved it (4785)
On 07/31/2010 at 1:04pm - intimacy - by anon - Canada (Newfoundland and Labrador)
Today, I was walking down the street and spotted a man who was about 6 and a half feet tall passing by me. As he passed me, I turned and asked him "How is the weather up there?" He then turned around, spat on me, and replied "Raining." FML
I agree, your life sucks (8330) - you deserved it (79021)
On 07/25/2010 at 5:06am - misc - by spriggs (man) - United States (California)
Today, my girlfriend of 2 years broke up with me because she said I was more of a woman than she was. I yelled out, "I HATE YOU!" and started to cry. She then took a tampon out of her purse, handed it to me, laughed, and walked away. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12654) - you deserved it (49914)
On 07/24/2010 at 6:53am - misc - by GirlishMan1883897 (man) - United States (Connecticut)
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML 
Follow the FML blog Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
