shelbygordon44

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shelbygordon44

4Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 17 September 1995 (20 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1418
  • Number of comments : 77
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About shelbygordon44 : I play most sports, I'm not really picky as to which sport I like to watch and play.
I also love music. I play guitar and drums. I'm proudly a band nerd. I'm lead vocalist and backup guitarist in a band. Avenged Sevenfold rules the world; RIP Jimmy 'The Rev' Sullivan.

shelbygordon44's page activity

Visits<b>Tomato_Cheese</b> - the 05/19/2016 at 7:33am<b>cats4lyfe</b> - the 05/04/2016 at 2:12am<b>sabby7</b> - the 03/09/2016 at 1:51am<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 03/06/2016 at 12:36am<b>Nai_Wiley</b> - the 02/22/2016 at 1:46pm<b>splitms</b> - the 02/19/2016 at 9:04pm<b>itsFishleyy</b> - the 11/18/2015 at 3:13am<b>BritSkits</b> - the 09/25/2015 at 2:39pm<b>UndeadCity9</b> - the 09/07/2015 at 2:24am<b>Jiratias</b> - the 07/12/2015 at 10:48am<b>Cadillac_kid_15</b> - the 04/30/2015 at 6:49am<b>ariesfyre00</b> - the 03/21/2015 at 3:56am<b>AnthriX95</b> - the 03/05/2015 at 11:43pm<b>Shannon98</b> - the 03/03/2015 at 9:28am<b>sneakattacked</b> - the 01/23/2015 at 2:13am<b>RandomUsername88</b> - the 01/13/2015 at 12:40am<b>kindasortayeah</b> - the 01/11/2015 at 11:49pm<b>tk14</b> - the 01/05/2015 at 12:03am

Fucked!<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 02/09/2016 at 2:08am<b>UndeadCity9</b> - the 09/07/2015 at 8:25am<b>Cadillac_kid_15</b> - the 12/30/2014 at 4:02pm

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shelbygordon44's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend came over to stay the night. Before she arrived, I popped a viagra to spice things up. She then informed me that she was on her period and didn't feel comfortable doing it. I had a headache and a massive boner all night. FML

by RohnAbheek / 08/21/2011 at 1:36pm / India (Maharashtra) / Intimacy

Today, I had to say "Put away your burrito," "that ruler is not a light saber," and "stop making dog noises" all in the same sentence at work. I teach Advanced Placement Calculus to high school seniors. FML

by Anonymous / 08/20/2011 at 3:42am / United States (Texas) / Work

Today, I was using a public urinal when a man came up to use the one next to me. As he approached, he said, "Friendly spy plane inbound" and pretended to look at my knob. FML

by Anonymous / 08/12/2011 at 6:40am / Australia (New South Wales) / Transportation

Today, I walked outside my house to find my father in nothing but his underwear, spraying ants with ant-killer, laughing like a maniac and screaming, "Die bitches! Die!" FML

by TuteSweet / 08/12/2011 at 2:17am / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend found out that if guys eat fruit often, their sperm will taste better. He bought a can of fruit for himself to eat, and said that he bought it just for me. This is the most romantic thing he's ever done. FML

by Pissedoff777 / 08/12/2011 at 1:33am / United States (Arizona) / Intimacy

Today, my pet fish died because my drunk father microwaved it. FML

by SydIsPrettyCool / 08/04/2011 at 1:44am / United States (Michigan) / Animals

Today, at some point, and for some reason I'll probably never fully understand, it seemed like a good idea to get completely shitfaced on tequila and try to shave my ballsack with a straight razor. I'm not sure if these wounds will ever heal. FML

by Anonymous / 08/01/2011 at 5:47pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, in health class, I raised my hand and asked if you could get an STD from dogs. I have officially now ruined any extremely small chance I had of being popular. FML

by loser4life / 07/30/2011 at 12:38am / United States (Colorado) / Animals

Today, my wife and I were planning our nursery for our future child. She said that we'd be painting it pink either way. I asked what would happen if we had a boy. She said "Oh, he'll be gay" with a menacing glare. I'm worried. FML

by Worried / 04/16/2011 at 6:59am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend and I were playfully arguing about who loved the other more. After about a minute of this, my girlfriend walked over and kicked me in the crotch as hard as she could. She then said, "There, now you don't love me as much. I win." FML

by ouch / 03/28/2011 at 11:33pm / United States (Arizona) / Love

Today, I was sitting in Walmart and I saw an attractive woman walking by. Being the single guy I am, I went up to her and asked if she needed help with carrying her groceries. She responded with "You know I'm a guy right?" FML

by Anonymous / 03/26/2011 at 2:24am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my dad told me he had been seeing someone for a while and has decided to marry her. When I met her, her son looked familiar. I lost my virginity to him. FML

by LoveMyNewBro / 01/04/2011 at 5:56am / Intimacy

Today, a man dressed as Santa Claus walked by me, grabbing my butt. He smelled of pipe tobacco and pee. He pulled me close to him and whispered, "I bet you're naughty but you feel so nice." I looked dumbfounded at him as he winked and yelled, "You're on my list." FML

by Anonymous / 12/15/2010 at 12:09am / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy

Today, I went to a party and crashed on the bedroom floor. I woke up to sex noises coming from the bed. I pretended to still be asleep. I sent a text to my boyfriend to tell him about it. I heard his phone beep from over in the bed. FML

by woopdeedo_1 / 03/07/2010 at 2:56pm / United Kingdom (West Sussex) / Intimacy

Today, in dance class we did a choreography where we wear two shirts and take one off in one quick motion. After I took mine off, the audience goes "aaah". Then I realize that I had taken both my shirts off as stood there with only my bra on. I was being videotaped. FML

by girl / 11/21/2009 at 7:36pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous