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shelbygordon44

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shelbygordon44
  • Town/Country : Gonzales, 'Merca
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 17 September 1995 (18 years)
  • Number of visits : 933
  • Number of comments : 77
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About shelbygordon44 : I play most sports, I'm not really picky as to which sport I like to watch and play.
I also love music. I play guitar and drums. I'm proudly a band nerd. I'm lead vocalist and backup guitarist in a band. Avenged Sevenfold rules the world; RIP Jimmy 'The Rev' Sullivan.

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shelbygordon44's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend came over to stay the night. Before she arrived, I popped a viagra to spice things up. She then informed me that she was on her period and didn't feel comfortable doing it. I had a headache and a massive boner all night. FML

#17538243
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11297) - you deserved it (39409)

On 08/21/2011 at 1:36pm - intimacy - by RohnAbheek - India (Maharashtra)

Today, I had to say "Put away your burrito," "that ruler is not a light saber," and "stop making dog noises" all in the same sentence at work. I teach Advanced Placement Calculus to high school seniors. FML

#17526799
259 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28113) - you deserved it (4425)

On 08/20/2011 at 3:42am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I was using a public urinal when a man came up to use the one next to me. As he approached, he said, "Friendly spy plane inbound" and pretended to look at my knob. FML

#17448380
264 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24777) - you deserved it (2452)

On 08/12/2011 at 6:40am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I walked outside my house to find my father in nothing but his underwear, spraying ants with ant-killer, laughing like a maniac and screaming, "Die bitches! Die!" FML

#17447180
237 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29650) - you deserved it (4067)

On 08/12/2011 at 2:17am - misc - by TuteSweet - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my boyfriend found out that if guys eat fruit often, their sperm will taste better. He bought a can of fruit for himself to eat, and said that he bought it just for me. This is the most romantic thing he's ever done. FML

#17446772
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34411) - you deserved it (6902)

On 08/12/2011 at 1:33am - intimacy - by Pissedoff777 - United States (Arizona)

Today, my pet fish died because my drunk father microwaved it. FML

#17362826
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41895) - you deserved it (2790)

On 08/04/2011 at 1:44am - animals - by SydIsPrettyCool - United States (Michigan)

Today, at some point, and for some reason I'll probably never fully understand, it seemed like a good idea to get completely shitfaced on tequila and try to shave my ballsack with a straight razor. I'm not sure if these wounds will ever heal. FML

#17334283
268 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11202) - you deserved it (64188)

On 08/01/2011 at 5:47pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, in health class, I raised my hand and asked if you could get an STD from dogs. I have officially now ruined any extremely small chance I had of being popular. FML

#17304355
252 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8172) - you deserved it (53883)

On 07/30/2011 at 12:38am - animals - by loser4life - United States (Colorado)

Today, my wife and I were planning our nursery for our future child. She said that we'd be painting it pink either way. I asked what would happen if we had a boy. She said "Oh, he'll be gay" with a menacing glare. I'm worried. FML

#15804993
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37541) - you deserved it (6174)

On 04/16/2011 at 6:59am - misc - by Worried (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my girlfriend and I were playfully arguing about who loved the other more. After about a minute of this, my girlfriend walked over and kicked me in the crotch as hard as she could. She then said, "There, now you don't love me as much. I win." FML

#15539670
275 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41790) - you deserved it (14374)

On 03/28/2011 at 11:33pm - love - by ouch - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was sitting in Walmart and I saw an attractive woman walking by. Being the single guy I am, I went up to her and asked if she needed help with carrying her groceries. She responded with "You know I'm a guy right?" FML

#15493619
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29200) - you deserved it (15174)

On 03/26/2011 at 2:24am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my dad told me he had been seeing someone for a while and has decided to marry her. When I met her, her son looked familiar. I lost my virginity to him. FML

#14460417
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40797) - you deserved it (4990)

On 01/04/2011 at 5:56am - intimacy - by LoveMyNewBro -

Today, a man dressed as Santa Claus walked by me, grabbing my butt. He smelled of pipe tobacco and pee. He pulled me close to him and whispered, "I bet you're naughty but you feel so nice." I looked dumbfounded at him as he winked and yelled, "You're on my list." FML

#14208916
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34915) - you deserved it (3598)

On 12/15/2010 at 12:09am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I went to a party and crashed on the bedroom floor. I woke up to sex noises coming from the bed. I pretended to still be asleep. I sent a text to my boyfriend to tell him about it. I heard his phone beep from over in the bed. FML

#8894345
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29314) - you deserved it (2626)

On 03/07/2010 at 2:56pm - intimacy - by woopdeedo_1 (woman) - United Kingdom (West Sussex)

Today, in dance class we did a choreography where we wear two shirts and take one off in one quick motion. After I took mine off, the audience goes "aaah". Then I realize that I had taken both my shirts off as stood there with only my bra on. I was being videotaped. FML

#6393242
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25925) - you deserved it (5492)

On 11/21/2009 at 7:36pm - misc - by girl (woman) - United States (Illinois)



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