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shelbygordon44

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shelbygordon44
  • Town/Country : Gonzales, 'Merca
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 17 September 1995 (18 years)
  • Number of visits : 932
  • Number of comments : 77
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About shelbygordon44 : I play most sports, I'm not really picky as to which sport I like to watch and play.
I also love music. I play guitar and drums. I'm proudly a band nerd. I'm lead vocalist and backup guitarist in a band. Avenged Sevenfold rules the world; RIP Jimmy 'The Rev' Sullivan.

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shelbygordon44's favorite FMLs

Today, I was diagnosed with migraines. Any loud sounds or bright lights make it worse. I'm the drummer for a heavy metal band, so I now have to choose between really bad migraines or a career. FML

#19727827
280 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21407) - you deserved it (3606)

On 06/03/2012 at 5:23pm - health - by Former Drummer - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, while in the bathroom, I started absent-mindedly drumming on my thighs. I didn't stop to think that people outside would think I was masturbating. FML

#19655658
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16017) - you deserved it (5054)

On 05/21/2012 at 1:56am - intimacy - by morethanredhands -

Today, I was at the supermarket checkout. I handed over my items, which included some tampons, tissues, and toilet roll. The security guard standing beside the cashier remarked loudly, "I'll be damned; she's flowing from every hole!" FML

#19623439
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35972) - you deserved it (3779) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 05/14/2012 at 6:23pm - misc - by lafinesse (woman) -

Today, I met my son for the first time since I had to put him up for adoption over two decades ago. I wanted to make amends and get to know him. Instead, all I got to know was how well he can throw a punch. FML

#18799303
347 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19243) - you deserved it (49618)

On 01/13/2012 at 8:38pm - kids - by me (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I met my son for the first time since I had to put him up for adoption over two decades ago. I wanted to make amends and get to know him. Instead, all I got to know was how well he can throw a punch. FML

#18799303
347 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19243) - you deserved it (49618)

On 01/13/2012 at 8:38pm - kids - by me (man) - United States (New York)

Today, after a hard day on the wards as a trainee doctor, I went home and started getting frisky with my girlfriend. All I could think about was the anatomical names for what I was touching and doing. I felt physically sick. FML

#18793525
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25317) - you deserved it (3654)

On 01/13/2012 at 5:47am - intimacy - by doctorsandnurses (man) - United Kingdom (Nottingham)

Today, two American guys attacked me for not speaking their language. I'm from England, and they said I'm speaking my own language wrong. FML

#18525821
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33426) - you deserved it (5995)

On 12/16/2011 at 3:50am - misc - by Brit - Reserved

Today, I drank a fifth of vodka before I took my political science final. My professor later called me to tell me that I had written "Obama is a beautiful chocolate man" to every essay question. FML

#18465913
0 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8734) - you deserved it (67997)

On 12/09/2011 at 1:11am - misc - by blondie101 - United States

Today, I came home to my empty apartment. My girlfriend had left a note on the floor that said: "Took my stuff and left. Took your stuff and pawned it." FML

#17994746
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32098) - you deserved it (4320)

On 10/16/2011 at 12:22am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I was play-wrestling with my girlfriend. I ended up with a cut, three bruises on my arm and a black eye. She just giggled the entire time. FML

#17938205
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10583) - you deserved it (21793)

On 10/08/2011 at 9:20pm - health - by anonymous - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my girlfriend changed her relationship status on Facebook to 'It's Complicated' because I didn't give her my last cookie. This happens all the time. FML

#17859546
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27582) - you deserved it (10501)

On 09/28/2011 at 10:28pm - love - by danthecomplicate - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I got kicked in the crotch. It popped my cherry. I lost my virginity to a shoe. FML

#17779717
423 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53216) - you deserved it (5251)

On 09/19/2011 at 10:39am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my fiancé played Rockband drums from the bathroom while taking a crap. He actually managed to properly hit notes. FML

#17690581
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18647) - you deserved it (3594)

On 09/07/2011 at 7:02pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I walked in on my new college roommate holding his cock. He said "Hi I'm Jeffrey, and this is Jeffrey junior" while directing attention towards his penis. It's going to be a long semester. FML

#17574583
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31412) - you deserved it (2329)

On 08/25/2011 at 1:26am - intimacy - by InAnAwkwardSituation - United States (New York)

Today, I watched my neighbor bring his dogs into my yard to let them empty their piss-pipes and poop-chutes. He does this twice a day. I put a "cut it out" sign up. His dogs peed on the sign and knocked it down. My lawn is a landmine of dog logs and I don't know what to do, besides installing actual landmines. FML



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