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shadowPlayer's favorite FMLs
by adrenochrome / 02/09/2009 at 4:21am / Lithuania (Vilniaus Apskritis) / Miscellaneous
Today, I gave my girlfriend some non-alcoholic beer as a joke. In slurred speech, she told me I have the body of a monk seal. She then took my keys, staggered to my car, and drove away. She crashed into a tree two blocks later. She's fine. FML
by IntimidatorStag / 02/06/2009 at 6:54pm / United States (California) / Love
Today, I ate at a friend's house. Her 5-year-old son, who was at the table with us, looked at me and said quietly, "You're ugly." My friend told him off, causing him to cry, and shout, "But she isn't pretty!" FML
- Today, I found out the pet name my girlfriend gave my penis wasn't randomly made up after all; it's… Today, I was wanking and started thinking about why the Simpsons are yellow, and how that came to… Today, while looking for some socks in my mom's dresser, I found a male g-string and an edible bra.…