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By Anonymous - / Wednesday 9 September 2009 17:21 / United States
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By  annamg  |  6

Wow. That's a seriously awful FML. There's a little something called honesty, kind of crucial to a marriage. It's a shame your husband hasn't heard of it. And all the people saying "it shouldn't matter" are morons. He lied to her about a major part of his life.

By  jm88  |  7

Dude it was misleading... How is this even REMOTELY acceptable? I have no problem with transgendered people but seriously... that's so messed up.

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By  RJB  |  7

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  jm88  |  7

Dude it was misleading... How is this even REMOTELY acceptable? I have no problem with transgendered people but seriously... that's so messed up.

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  Finnboghi  |  7

Unfortunately, sex is a large part of a healthy relationship. And not telling her until after marriage was more a sign of B(r)en(da) not loving OP, not the other way around. Also, unfortunately, IVF only works if the other half of the DNA comes from an actual man - if the egg were actually fertilized with B(r)en(da)'s DNA, the fetus would die long before birth, because she would only have half the chromosomes she needs. (It would be a she, because of the double X) If they want children, they can get a donor, but the two of them can't create a child on their own. (Cloning notwithstanding)

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  RJB  |  7

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  mannix_fml  |  7

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  WitchCirce  |  7

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  tyhillman  |  7

Nobody has said anything about trannies not deserving a relationship. However, the fact that "he" hid the fact from the woman "he" supposedly loved is what is being discussed. The best start to a good relationship is being honest, that includes not keeping something from your wife/girlfriends/husband/boyfriend. Honesty is not just limited to telling the truth.

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  v1kt4r  |  7

u dont see a problem with this situation???????????? news flash marriage isnt only based on love, sex is a very large part of it and if his dick dont work then i can bet my left nut therez going to b sexual frustration atleast for her, which is one of the few things that lead to divorce

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  v1kt4r  |  7

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  capricaz  |  7

Are you serious? It's the same as lying about having a bad STD or a huge debt and not telling your gf until you marry her. And no I do not think that gender changing surgery is as bad as an STD or owing money. It's just a comparison of the kind of lie that will send anyone running. Nothing wrong with changing your gender, but lying about it (same as hiding is bad!). On a side note, OP - I am assuming you've at least made out or did something that would get him, um, excited, and you "accidentally" feeling it going up? LOL

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  mizzkitty  |  7

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  lycangrrl  |  7

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  Mirequetz  |  7

It is not ok. Never assume anyone would be ok with this, it's the most retarded thing I've heard in a while. What if she wanted to have kids with this "man"? Artificial insemination might not be up for discussion, I think it's a horrific lie to tell someone. Although I believe this is totally fake, people who are saying "If you love 'him' it shouldn't be an issue". Say that outloud, do you understand how utterly ridiculous that is? That is a HUGE lie.

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  Ruthie  |  7

Um, no. If this had been brought up before the wedding, that's a different story. This was wrong and misleading and NOT okay. The OP did not get a fair chance to decide what was right for her life, or if she could deal with what it means to be married to a transsexual (emotionally AND the sex life). I hope the OP gets an annulment and dumps his ass asap.

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  birds_fml  |  7

No. I understand transgendered people, and support them, but this is a lie by omission. He didn't even give his wife a chance to decide how she felt about it. It IS a big deal to many people, and he should tell her, early on preferably, about the fact that his penis is non-functional and that he will not be able to father children with her. Yes, a great many people will have a problem with it, and dump the guy and move on. The alternative is THIS situation, where you get married, and find out that the person you married was withholding such a huge piece of information. On that basis ALONE she should get an annulment.

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  birds_fml  |  7

Also, if my husband had been in the same situation... transgendered that is... and told me early on in the relationship that he used to be a woman, had a non-functional penis and was unable to father children, I would've been okay with it because gender (to me) is more about personality than chromosomes. However, if he had waited till after we were married to tell me that, I would've been right back at the courthouse that very minute getting an annulment. A lie by omission is still a lie, and this is a BIG one.

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  maxv_15  |  7

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By  RJB  |  7

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  RJB  |  7

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i would think more FHL for not having a functioning penis. but that sucks that he never told you. i mean, i'm sure you love him and all, but he should have at least told you when you got engaged or something. i mean, he loved you, he would have told you...because if you were planning on having kids or something, it affects you too.

By  annamg  |  6

Wow. That's a seriously awful FML. There's a little something called honesty, kind of crucial to a marriage. It's a shame your husband hasn't heard of it. And all the people saying "it shouldn't matter" are morons. He lied to her about a major part of his life.

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  WitchCirce  |  6

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But the fact is, he DID tell her. After she married him. If he was willing to tell her after they married, why not share that information before? Saying "I just wanted to see if you really loved me" is bull...how can she REALLY love someone if she doesn't know who that person is? The true test of whether or not she loved him would have been when he told her and she decided to break up with him or not, not if she'd marry him without knowing.

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  kfred987  |  6

Agreed. The truest test would be for him to have told her and her to have proved that she loves him by the decision she made after he told her. It's pretty low that he wouldn't bother to tell her. I'd be IRATE.

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  Plumppotato  |  6

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By  ohboy456  |  6

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It depends on what form of phalloplasty he went through. If he didn't have any form of erecting device placed within it, then, no, he couldn't. Likewise, some FtMs opt not to have a phalloplasty, and instead use the enlarged clitoris that their hormone therapy produces as a penis--it can have natural errections but at an average of 3 inches long when erect, it's not exactly ideal for penetration. That being said, OP, while it's in entirely bad form for him to not tell you, part of me can't blame him. The entire point of having a sex-reassignment operation is so that you can exist as a normal man or woman--in your husbands case, a man. Transsexuals don't exactly want to go out and tell everyone that they used to be the opposite sex. And frankly, you also PARTIALLY deserve it. Even though you've never had sex, you've likely seen him shirtless while swimming or on a hot day, or at the VERY least, you've seen him in short sleeves. All the surgeries involved in sex reassignment leave very obvious scars--scars around the ribs from their mastectomy; scards under the bellybutton for the hysterectomy, and a GIANT scar that takes up the majority of the forearm from the phalloplasty--that's where they remove the skin for the penis graft, the arm. Not to mention, he'd be on hormone therapy; surely you noticed him having regular injections. If you're such an uneducated/inattentive slag that you wouldn't recognize any of these signs and put two and two together, then you kind of deserve it. So, FYL for having a husband that didn't trust you. And YDI for being too stupid to not notice obvious signs of transsexualism.

By  caramelize  |  5

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  lmfao25  |  5

I don't think it fully works that way. What if you found out that the man you loved had a verrrry deep and incredibly significant secret that might have changed your mind about him earlier? but then he waits until the honeymoon to tell you. That could really creep some people out. I think if she wanted a vagina, she'd be a lesbain. She wanted a penis. Therefore, this is an FML and it's not as simple as you put it.

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  Vitamin_C  |  5

Anyone would care if the man they thought they married used to be a woman and lied about their life for the duration of their relationship. You have the right to decide what you will and will not accept (I'm not hating on transgendered people, but not everyone is comfortable with marrying someone who used to be a woman) and being trapped in a marriage before being allowed to make that decision is completely unfair. Would you be just as accepting if the person you just married told you they used to be a deranged serial killer? Obviously it's not the same thing, but it's still lying about your past and expecting the other person to accept it without having a choice.

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By  XOfiestypixie  |  6

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