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shadowPlayer

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shadowPlayer
  • Town/Country : Canada
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1017
  • Number of comments : 165
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 17 posted

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shadowPlayer's favorite FMLs

Today, I was wearing a skirt, and running towards a closing elevator, making it just in time. As soon as I ran in, my pad fell out of my underwear and onto the floor. There were 6 other people in the elevator. I picked it up before I realized I had nowhere to put it, so I held it. For 18 floors. FML

#4201501
298 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52474) - you deserved it (7225)

On 08/01/2009 at 4:15am - misc - by Alice (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I gave my wife of four years a special anniversary gift: a red rose dipped in liquid gold so that she would cherish and admire it forever. She told me it was too "Italian" looking. I now have a hundred dollar rose sitting in my office. FML

#4180457
248 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47354) - you deserved it (5460)

On 07/31/2009 at 12:02pm - love - by WiltedFlower (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I went to a neon themed party. Standing by the UV light, I looked down and realised my pad was glowing through my tights. FML

#3741117
347 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65024) - you deserved it (12786)

On 07/14/2009 at 8:23am - misc - by paddy (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, my car was in the shop so I borrowed my wife's VW Beetle convertible. It's really embarrassing because it's a girlie car and it's full of little stuffed animals. At a stop light a man asked me if I'd like to borrow one of his testicles because "every man should have at least one." FML

#2812014
261 comments

I agree, your life sucks (90676) - you deserved it (19052)

On 06/11/2009 at 8:23pm - misc - by NoBalls (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I was helping a couple come up with a name for the baby they just had. I suggested "Joshua" thinking that it was an okay name. All sudden, the room got quiet. Turns out I had forgotten that Joshua was the name of their 3 year old son who had died a couple months before. FML

#2798038
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31099) - you deserved it (77763)

On 06/11/2009 at 10:17am - misc - by 8reth72 (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my 6 year old daughter saw a man in a wheelchair who's leg had been amputated. She walks up to him and says, "What happened?". He answers kindly that he's a war veteran. She then responds, "Well then you deserve to get your leg blown off. You shouldn't be killing people." FML

#2030761
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (89926) - you deserved it (21279)

On 05/17/2009 at 9:19pm - kids - by embarrassedmom (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was playing and laughing with my new baby boy. He was giggling, and it was adorable. Out of nowhere I say "you're my favorite!". Now I'm sitting here talking to my two other children about how what I said earlier I didn't mean personally. They never want to talk to me again. FML

#1176288
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12786) - you deserved it (108948)

On 04/20/2009 at 10:39pm - kids - by Damnlife123 (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my fiancé's parents visited. I keep chickens for their eggs, and his parents own a farm, so we had a connection. They told us to leave the house while they cooked us dinner. When we returned, we faced two steaming plates of chicken. My chickens. They had names. FML

#896114
405 comments

I agree, your life sucks (201591) - you deserved it (19795)

On 04/10/2009 at 1:11am - animals - by lanbon182 - United States (California)

Today, I took my son for a walk to tell him about the passing of our family dog. As we were walking by the river, Ozzy (our deceased dog) was laying on the riverbank. My son thought he just ran away and we found him. Turns out my husband was too cheap to pay the 100$ vet disposal fees. FML

#796743
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67323) - you deserved it (4904)

On 04/04/2009 at 5:19am - animals - by cheaphubbyswife - Canada (Northwest Territories)

Today, my tampon string was hanging from my bathing suit. My boyfriend thought it was a thread hanging from my bikini bottom. He publicly pulled out my tampon. FML

#784043
450 comments

I agree, your life sucks (385459) - you deserved it (61702)

On 04/03/2009 at 3:39pm - misc - by rebekah (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I realized my friends and I should be more careful what we say around my younger brother. I never thought he was paying attention until today. My stepmom told him it was time to go to bed. He responded, "I think it's time for you to suck one." My brother is 4. FML

#615927
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12967) - you deserved it (56914)

On 03/26/2009 at 12:42am - misc - by Alex (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my boyfriend and I were choosing animals that reminded us of eachother. I said he reminded me of a tiger because he is really muscular. He told me I reminded him of a zebra. When I asked him why, he said it was because of my stretchmarks. FML

#304824
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70070) - you deserved it (6564)

On 03/13/2009 at 4:03pm - love - by Noname (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my cat got into the bathroom while I was changing my tampon. As I was throwing the applicator away, I felt a sharp pain around my vagina; I looked down to find him swatting at the tampon string. FML

Today, I came to school late because I had to drop off my daughter at school. When I got on campus, the security told me I was late but I said, "Oh no, I work here." and he said, "Oh like I haven't heard that one before." And he took me to detention. My boss, the Principal, had to bail me out. FML

#94927
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42117) - you deserved it (2590)

On 02/21/2009 at 6:22am - work - by Lily (woman) - United States (California)



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