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sassx20

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sassx20

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  • Number of visits : 109
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sassx20's favorite FMLs

Today, it was my birthday. I was heading back to my apartment and I heard noises inside the door. Assuming it was the surprise party I'd hinted at, I flicked on the lights as two heavy guys pushed past me. I was robbed. FML

#19604267
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28671) - you deserved it (1822)

On 05/10/2012 at 8:28pm - money - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I found out that my husband is the biological father of my baby sister. FML

#19603084
408 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57190) - you deserved it (3097)

On 05/10/2012 at 4:17pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, a train hit me. A slow mini-train full of kindergartners who were on a tour of the museum I was visiting. FML

#19004597
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20548) - you deserved it (5674)

On 02/05/2012 at 9:14pm - health - by MahSquito (man) - United States

Today, I was cooking with super hot ghost peppers. The package said "After handling them not to touch your eyes, nose or pets". They should've added "penis" to that list. FML

#18729935
357 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11817) - you deserved it (54855)

On 01/06/2012 at 9:22pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I had an upset stomach. I lay down in bed with a bucket nearby just in case. Later on, the urge to vomit overcame me, and I puked into the bucket. I realised too late that my cat had chosen to sleep in it. He jumped out and spread vomit all over my apartment. FML

#18716901
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37185) - you deserved it (4926) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/05/2012 at 3:40pm - animals - by Fat_abott - France

Today, as I was driving in reverse, I hit my boyfriend's mom's car. I met her for the first time while giving her my information. FML

#18697132
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25745) - you deserved it (7033)

On 01/03/2012 at 2:22pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, it was our one year anniversary. After a surprise re-creation of our first date, we went home, in the mood for love. The food poisoning from the restaurant had a different idea. FML

#18694109
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27277) - you deserved it (2076)

On 01/03/2012 at 3:14am - love - by snarly1 - United States (California)

Today, I went on a first date with a guy I really like. He brought up that there was a person staring at us from a nearby table. That person was my mom. FML

#18692571
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32569) - you deserved it (2203)

On 01/03/2012 at 12:32am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, while I was in the break room at work, one of my coworkers walked in on me playing with my animal crackers, complete with animal noises. Now, the entire department won't stop teasing me and calling me Tarzan. FML

#18687343
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12035) - you deserved it (32001)

On 01/02/2012 at 3:55pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I told my parents that I wanted to donate blood. My dad helpfully interjected, "Sorry, they don't accept blood from gingers." FML

#18678605
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29361) - you deserved it (7702)

On 01/01/2012 at 8:22pm - health - by GingerJ (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I woke up after a long night of partying. When I went to wash off my face, I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror. My missing tooth was almost enough to make me overlook my black eye. FML

#18674490
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10399) - you deserved it (28544)

On 01/01/2012 at 12:19pm - misc - by msnewyearseve - United States (New York)

Today, I was going over to my friend's house for the first time. A creepy-looking old man answered, and smiled at me. I asked "Is this the right house? Does Isaac live here?" He replied "Yes, he's in the basement. Would you like a drink?" Right then, Isaac called and asked me where I was. FML

#18671217
261 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46594) - you deserved it (3233)

On 01/01/2012 at 2:34am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, my mom took my cell to work with her. When she got home later, she scolded me for not answering her calls. When I pointed out that she'd taken it, she grounded me for "talking back". FML

#18664843
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33138) - you deserved it (2415)

On 12/31/2011 at 3:37pm - misc - by yourebeautiful - United States

Today, I texted my boyfriend on the way to the hospital to tell him I needed stitches, after my brother's dog bit me on the breast. His response? "Pics or it didn't happen." FML

#18643236
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28313) - you deserved it (5006)

On 12/29/2011 at 10:48am - health - by OH COME ON (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I found out that I've been using a "Trick Scale" that my family bought to boost my self esteem so I'd think I was losing weight. I found this out at my physical, where I learned I have actually gained ten pounds. FML

#18631764
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26020) - you deserved it (4196)

On 12/28/2011 at 2:57am - health - by Fatty - United States (Illinois)



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