About sanchezjesus368 : Hello. I see that you were curious to learn more about me how cute. Well if you really want to get to know me add me on Xbox-MonsterHunter32.
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sanchezjesus368's favorite FMLs
by embarrassed / 11/11/2011 at 10:17am / Canada (Ontario) / Kids
by Luke / 11/07/2011 at 9:53am / United States (Virginia) / Money
Today, I was bitched out by my 17 year old son's teacher. It seems the idiot teacher made the kids advocate for his own political beliefs in a presentation, and my son ended his speech saying, "And it remains my opinion that our instructor is cramping my motherfucking style." Instant suspension. FML
by Anonymous / 10/28/2011 at 11:52am / United States / Kids
by planking champion / 10/17/2011 at 6:05pm / United States (North Dakota) / Miscellaneous
Today, I wore my brand new Wonderbra to school. When I got home, my dad looked at me and started laughing hysterically. Between breaths, he asked if anyone actually thought my chest was that big and said "You know why it's called a Wonderbra? Guys take it off and wonder where your tits went." FML
by Anonymous / 10/10/2011 at 6:26pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was talking with my uncle, when the subject of my abusive mother-in-law came up. He assured me he'd talk to her and straighten things out. Apparently this means posting on her Facebook wall threatening to "pimp-slap a bitch" if she doesn't get her "fat ass out of family business". FML
by ...... / 10/07/2011 at 10:40pm / United States (Utah) / Miscellaneous
Today, the shy girl in my class decided to bring a cake to share with everyone, since it was her birthday. Excited about the cake, I got everybody to sing "happy birthday" for her, only to realize too late that nobody in the class know her name, myself included. FML
by mortenp / 09/22/2011 at 12:44am / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 09/19/2011 at 10:39am / United States (Washington) / Health
Today, my five year old ran down the street wearing nothing but flip flops, Star Wars underwear, and a baseball helmet. He was swinging a badminton racket while screaming "THIS IS SPARTA!" My neighbors watched laughing as I had to run after him down the street in my pajamas. FML
by awesomekidsmum / 09/17/2011 at 9:20pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids
Today, I had leg surgery. While I was recovering in the hospital, my boyfriend dumped me. I then had to ride home, a 2 hour drive, listening to my mother and aunt tell me he was the best thing to happen to me and I will never find a better man. Then the morphine wore off. FML
by anonymous / 09/17/2011 at 3:44am / United States (Texas) / Love
Today, at 7am, I was woken up by a telemarketer. He tried to sell me a bedroom set containing "a comfortable pillow and goose feather cover". I was working the graveyard shift and had only just gotten to sleep an hour earlier. FML
by kareltje / 09/14/2011 at 2:50pm / Netherlands (Utrecht) / Work
by ohmaigawd / 09/14/2011 at 12:59pm / Argentina / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 09/14/2011 at 12:34pm / United States (Kansas) / Health
Today, I realized that the place that my brothers and I would find soggy balloons and blow them up when we were younger is where the prostitutes take their clients. We were blowing up used condoms for a good part of our childhood. FML
by IbetIgotAIDS / 09/12/2011 at 12:15pm / United States (Kentucky) / Intimacy
by COCKYmanUSC / 09/11/2011 at 10:50pm / United States (South Carolina) / Miscellaneous
- Today, my husband bought me a bouquet of roses. They caused me to sneeze seven times in a row. That… Today, I went to work leaving my girlfriend asleep in my bed. Later she calls me demanding to know… Today, I was ringing an old man up in the local grocery store when I had realized all he was buying…