sanchezjesus368

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sanchezjesus368

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 14 May 1985 (31 years old)
  • <3 status : Not so sure
  • Number of visits : 5063
  • Number of comments : 10
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About sanchezjesus368 : Hello. I see that you were curious to learn more about me how cute. Well if you really want to get to know me add me on Xbox-MonsterHunter32.

sanchezjesus368's page activity

Visits<b>taylor21398</b> - the 11/29/2013 at 6:49am<b>daveyyyyh</b> - the 11/04/2013 at 4:25pm<b>whos_ur_daddy1</b> - the 11/04/2013 at 4:01pm<b>Booda_Shun</b> - the 10/13/2013 at 12:39pm<b>olpally</b> - the 09/07/2013 at 11:53pm<b>fuzzylumpkins19</b> - the 08/09/2013 at 9:17am<b>semper_amo</b> - the 06/04/2013 at 11:13am<b>Zazoo1995</b> - the 05/07/2013 at 11:53pm<b>mvc3ftw</b> - the 05/01/2013 at 5:40pm<b>xxoriginalnamexx</b> - the 04/10/2013 at 10:40pm<b>dead_insects</b> - the 04/10/2013 at 7:35pm<b>MythicalPanda</b> - the 04/10/2013 at 1:25pm<b>XxKingQuacksxX</b> - the 03/19/2013 at 6:59pm<b>psychplease</b> - the 03/18/2013 at 5:37pm<b>oj101</b> - the 01/27/2013 at 2:01am

sanchezjesus368's FML badges

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

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sanchezjesus368's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out that my wife is pregnant again. During her last two pregnancies, she craved pop-tarts and screamed bloody murder at the drop of a hat, so I went out and bought a box for her. Turns out that this time, pop-tarts make her want to puke. Cue screaming. FML

by Anonymous / 02/22/2012 at 2:55pm / Canada (Alberta) / Love

Today, my mother came home from the grocery store with a 20kg bag of carrots, and nothing else. She then informed me that, for as long as my girlfriend and I keep 'going at it like rabbits', she would be feeding me like one. FML

by Danny / 01/07/2012 at 5:27am / Australia / Intimacy

Today, while watching Rio, I got a boner when Blu and Jewel kissed. This is almost as pathetic as getting a boner a few days ago while watching Homer and Marge kiss on The Simpsons. I think I'm way past the point of ever getting laid. FML

by Anonymous / 01/01/2012 at 1:09pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, I experienced the most intense pain I have ever had in my life. I was eating blueberries when my sister made a comment which sent me into hysterics. The force of having a bullet-like berry violently shoot out your nostril is more painful than it sounds. FML

by Anonymous / 12/26/2011 at 4:41pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, I stayed up until 4 am. I was waiting for both my cats to fall asleep, so I could play Santa and stuff their stockings in secret. FML

by Anonymoose / 12/25/2011 at 6:39am / Switzerland (Zurich) / Animals

Today, my mother sold my extensive Star Wars collection, and I cried when I found out. I'm 46. FML

by Oja1 / 12/15/2011 at 11:26pm / United States (Montana) / Miscellaneous

Today, I noticed an old bell at the bar so I rang it. It turns out that when you ring the bell, you buy shots for the whole bar. FML

by Christina / 12/05/2011 at 12:41am / Canada (British Columbia) / Money

Today, my parents bought purity rings for my twin brother and me for our birthday, and had them blessed by our priest. Neither of us are virgins. FML

by Anonymous / 12/05/2011 at 12:23am / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy

Today, my fiancé insists that instead of kissing at the crucial moment of our wedding ceremony, we should give each other a high five. FML

by no low five / 11/30/2011 at 6:17am / United States / Love

Today, my dad had his "sixteen years overdue" vasectomy. I'm fifteen. FML

by davidh5012 / 11/27/2011 at 4:41pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, after I went to collect my pay for babysitting, the girl's dad pulled the old "Can I pay you in Trident Layers?" bull on me. Hoping to show that I wasn't going to play ball, I told him that watching his gran inhale a cock would be funnier. If scowls could kill... FML

by Anonymous / 11/25/2011 at 9:09pm / United States (Nevada) / Money

Today, I found a condom on my bed with a note written by my girlfriend that said, "Since you started acting like a dick, you might as well dress like one." FML

by Dickhead / 11/25/2011 at 10:02am / Lebanon / Intimacy

Today, we had a sprint race in gym class which I wasn't looking forward to because I'm a little chubby. The race started and I shot off as fast as I could, somehow in the lead. Everyone was cheering. When I was nearing the finish line I turned around, only to see the race hadn't started yet. FML

by dan / 11/18/2011 at 11:54pm / Reserved / Miscellaneous

Today, I was naked, still deciding what to wear, when the doorbell rang. I grabbed the closest thing to cover up with: my Snuggie. I answered the door, it was kids asking for donations. Without thinking, I turned around to grab my purse. FML

by anonymous / 11/15/2011 at 10:17pm / Canada (Saskatchewan) / Miscellaneous

Today, my son asked me where babies come from. I told him, "From god." He came back with, "Daddy said it was from fucking." FML

by lababy / 11/15/2011 at 12:20pm / United States / Intimacy