About sanchezjesus368 : Hello. I see that you were curious to learn more about me how cute. Well if you really want to get to know me add me on Xbox-MonsterHunter32.
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sanchezjesus368's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 12/11/2009 at 7:45pm / United States (Texas) / Kids
Today, I finally got a hold of my husband who I haven't actually talked to in 2 and 1/2 weeks since he is deployed and it's hard to chat. He told me he couldn't talk because he was in an epic battle, in Call of Duty. FML
by Dejected / 12/07/2009 at 2:16pm / United States (California) / Love
Today, my 15 year old son told me he had his first kiss. I told him how I was the same age when I had mine, and then I told him all kinds of wild stories about things I did in my childhood and college life. Truth is, I made them all up. I didn't get kissed till I was 24, and laid till I was 28. FML
by Sadface / 12/06/2009 at 12:34pm / United States (Florida) / Kids
Today, my mom admitted that her story about my dad leaving us for his current wife was a lie. He left when he caught her with a coworker. She blocked his number and got a restraining order to keep him from telling his side of the story. I haven't talked to my dad for six years because of this. FML
by Anonymous / 12/03/2009 at 9:17pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by errrmkl46 / 12/02/2009 at 1:25am / United States (Arizona) / Miscellaneous
Today, I took my girlfriend's 4-year-old son and four of his friends to the amusement park. While walking down a hill, I slipped on some water and slid down the hill, taking out multiple children. It wasn't rain. I'd slid on vomit. FML
by Anonymous / 11/30/2009 at 12:22pm / United States (New Jersey) / Kids
Today, I felt fairly depressed about being single for the holidays during work. This cute girl came to my register asking about our sales ad. After telling her we had no copies, she asked for my number. I shouted: "Finally, someone wants to go out with me." She wanted the store's number to call. FML
by Anonymous / 11/28/2009 at 5:23pm / United States (Georgia) / Love
by sickkid / 11/23/2009 at 1:05pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, my four year old got mad that he couldn't find his favorite character on the Wii. So, he decided to smash the Wii remote into my $700 LCD TV, shattering the screen. That was the only TV in the house, and the $80 service plan I bought doesn't cover accidental damage. FML
by mizzy / 11/19/2009 at 4:14pm / United States / Kids
by unsuspcted / 11/17/2009 at 5:58pm / United States (Georgia) / Kids
Today, my husband and I put our 9 month old twins to bed and went outside to enjoy a very rare few minutes with each other, a couple of beers, with a baby monitor. He shut the sliding glass door, and I watched the bar that locks it accidentally slide into locked position. All the other doors were locked. FML
by Anonymous / 11/16/2009 at 3:10pm / United States (Georgia) / Kids
Today, a neighbour called to say my water tank burst. A colleague followed me home to help, took off his shirt so it wouldn't get wet and climbed through my window to get to the roof. My boyfriend unexpectedly came home as we were emerging from the bedroom. My colleague was still buttoning his shirt up. FML
by Anonymous / 11/15/2009 at 3:42am / Australia (Victoria) / Love
Today, I got bailed out of jail. I was there because I saw a girl being hit by her boyfriend. I rushed over to help only to have her hit me repeatedly. The cops came and she blamed her bruises on me. The boyfriend corroborated her story. FML
by ournhd / 11/13/2009 at 1:11am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, a bee flew in my car so I swerved off the road and hit a mailbox. It was a metal keg filled with cement buried in the ground. Taking my father's advice I fled the scene. Later my mailman knocked on my door holding part of my bumper. He said "Excuse me, I think you hit my mailbox this morning." FML
by Sybil90 / 11/11/2009 at 8:03am / United States (Texas) / Transportation
by Volume_control / 11/10/2009 at 9:41am / United States (Oregon) / Intimacy
- 1Today, I took a test. I got up to turn it in, and accidentally bumped into another student. We both… 2Today, I tried to fire the worst worker I've ever had over the phone because he never shows up for… 3Today, my energetic 10-month-old decided to stay up four hours past bedtime. After I FINALLY got…
- Today, I put on a lacy dress with nothing underneath and walked nonchalantly into the living room.… Today, my girlfriend suggested we start using a safe word during sex - not because we're into BDSM… Today, after getting into bed, I found a used condom under my covers. I asked my roommate about it.…