About sanchezjesus368 : Hello. I see that you were curious to learn more about me how cute. Well if you really want to get to know me add me on Xbox-MonsterHunter32.
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sanchezjesus368's favorite FMLs
Today, I spent all day and last night in the bathroom. The seafood I'd been keeping in the refrigerator apparently had gone bad, and is now intent on finding its every possible route to the Great Porcelain Whirlpool. FML
by Anonymous / 03/12/2010 at 4:44pm / United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire) / Health
Today, I was really bored and decided to annoy my mom while she was doing the dishes. I walked up behind her, touched her shoulder, and said "Poke". She then donkey kicks me straight in the nuts saying "Kick". I know now to never bug my mom when she's in a bad mood. FML
by Numbnuts / 03/07/2010 at 10:08pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by fml / 03/07/2010 at 10:46am / United States (Florida) / Intimacy
by lalararara / 03/04/2010 at 10:48am / United States / Intimacy
Today, I halted a cab. It was 12 degrees and snowing outside. When I went to get in, a man shoved me away and I slipped on ice into dirty snow slush, and he stole my cab. As it drove off, the man flipped me off. FML
by deadandwasted / 02/20/2010 at 3:20am / United States (Colorado) / Transportation
by Brett meek / 02/19/2010 at 2:41am / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy
Today, it snowed in South Carolina for the first time in 10 years. It snowed eight whole inches! I was so excited, I yelled for my kids and ran outside to build a snowman. I ran out to the steps and slipped on ice. I woke up in the hospital with a bad concussion. The snow had all melted. FML
by owwie / 02/13/2010 at 3:11pm / United States / Kids
by inthedark / 02/09/2010 at 12:53pm / Canada (Alberta) / Kids
Today, I was sitting on the wooden edge of my coffee table watching my sister's boyfriend play Halo 2, when I leaned back to stretch and shattered the center pane of glass in the table. I now have a large gash in my ass. FML
by Kaganate / 02/08/2010 at 7:32pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
by Mike / 02/07/2010 at 12:02am / United States (Florida) / Intimacy
Today, I found out that I'm not actually pregnant. I've apparently been having a hysterical pregnancy because I want a child so badly. I don't know which was worse, the look of relief on my husband's face or having to send a mass email to inform my family and friends. FML
by sadface / 02/03/2010 at 6:58am / Miscellaneous
Today, my best friend planned a birthday party for me at the local Mexican restaurant. NO ONE showed up. We told the Mexican waiter there would be 18 arriving. Two hours later he brought me free ice cream. Even the non-english speaking waiters knew I was a loser. FML
by Candace / 01/26/2010 at 10:31pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. My phone started ringing and it was my Mom, she said I could answer it. As I answered the phone my girlfriend started playing with my dick. I moaned. Loud. FML
by BlackPolarbear / 01/23/2010 at 3:05am / United States (Colorado) / Intimacy
Today, I went back to school after missing the first 2 weeks of the new school year. I got grilled in my first lesson by my teacher for "gallivanting around on holiday in some sunny place" when I should've been at school learning. My dad had died from liver cancer. FML
by Dude / 01/21/2010 at 6:41am / United Kingdom (Gloucestershire) / Health
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, I was fired from my job because I, in my bosses words, "Abided by company policy to such an…