About sanchezjesus368 : Hello. I see that you were curious to learn more about me how cute. Well if you really want to get to know me add me on Xbox-MonsterHunter32.
Who’s the fairest of them all?
This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
Up and coming moderator
It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Today, I found out that my best friend kisses me while I sleep. We're both guys. FML
I agree, your life sucks (56616) - you deserved it (6310)
On 06/04/2010 at 10:03pm - love - by weirdesout - United States (Texas)
Today, my girlfriend and I were getting it on when her cat attacked me. I was pissed, so I grabbed the cat and rushed outside to get rid of it. Little did I know, her parents were home, sitting outside. So I was naked, with a feral cat in front of my junk trying to kill me. All I could say was "Nice Weather?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (16023) - you deserved it (25241)
On 05/25/2010 at 7:33pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Manitoba)
Today, I swerved to avoid running over a dead cat in the road. Instead, I ran over its head. The crack of its skull was loud enough for me to hear it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31238) - you deserved it (6895)
On 05/21/2010 at 1:26pm - animals - by anonymous - United States (Arizona)
Today, I was with my girlfriend, thinking we were alone in the house. Her little brother found us having sex on the couch, took a pic and said, "You are now both my slaves." He ran upstairs and locked his bedroom door. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14280) - you deserved it (30756)
On 04/11/2010 at 4:11am - intimacy - by junior - United States (Arizona)
Today, I was with my girlfriend, thinking we were alone in the house. Her little brother found us having sex on the couch, took a pic and said, "You are now both my slaves." He ran upstairs and locked his bedroom door. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14280) - you deserved it (30756)
On 04/11/2010 at 4:11am - intimacy - by junior - United States (Arizona)
Today, I was with my girlfriend, thinking we were alone in the house. Her little brother found us having sex on the couch, took a pic and said, "You are now both my slaves." He ran upstairs and locked his bedroom door. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14280) - you deserved it (30756)
On 04/11/2010 at 4:11am - intimacy - by junior - United States (Arizona)
Today, I came back from a week long class trip. My mother took it upon herself to replace my bed sheets and clean my room. Apparently, she found a note under my mattress from my ex-boyfriend. It said "For all you future dudes, Connor was here first!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (25076) - you deserved it (7191)
On 04/05/2010 at 3:32am - intimacy - by FASHlONABLE - United States (California)
Today, fifteen minutes after dinner was served, my blind date says "It's good that you're smart. Not to be rude, but most girls aren't. I mean, at some point, I'm going to pull my dick out of your mouth and then it's good if you have something interesting to say." Check please. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34450) - you deserved it (7050)
On 04/05/2010 at 1:14am - intimacy - by Hate2Date (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, I took pills to make sure I lasted longer with my girlfriend. Good news? It worked fine and is still working now. Bad news? We've been done for a good two hours. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8664) - you deserved it (20478)
On 03/31/2010 at 12:44am - intimacy - by imsorrylove - United States
Today, my schlong decided to enter Mortal Kombat with my pants zipper. Guess which of the two won a flawless victory? FML
I agree, your life sucks (21729) - you deserved it (5437)
On 03/16/2010 at 2:55pm - health - by liu_kang - United States
Today, I was telling my sister about the stupid sorts of questions I get asked at work. She looked at me and said "I give you five years until you turn into a raging, chain-smoking corporate bitch." My mom agreed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13400) - you deserved it (2855)
On 03/12/2010 at 8:23pm - work - by ams (woman) - United States (Missouri)
Today, I spent all day and last night in the bathroom. The seafood I'd been keeping in the refrigerator apparently had gone bad, and is now intent on finding its every possible route to the Great Porcelain Whirlpool. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11487) - you deserved it (5621)
On 03/12/2010 at 4:44pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)
Today, I was really bored and decided to annoy my mom while she was doing the dishes. I walked up behind her, touched her shoulder, and said "Poke". She then donkey kicks me straight in the nuts saying "Kick". I know now to never bug my mom when she's in a bad mood. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6365) - you deserved it (22982)
On 03/07/2010 at 10:08pm - misc - by Numbnuts (man) - United States (California)
Today, I agreed to let my boyfriend cover every inch of my body in whipped cream and lick it off. We were both enjoying it until his 9 year old sister walked in and started crying. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8767) - you deserved it (15543)
On 03/07/2010 at 10:46am - intimacy - by fml (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I got a 95 on my term project. To congratulate me, my boyfriend said we're having sex tonight. I only get laid if I get good grades. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17885) - you deserved it (4361)
On 03/04/2010 at 10:48am - intimacy - by lalararara - United States
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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