sanchezjesus368

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sanchezjesus368

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 14 May 1985 (31 years old)
  • <3 status : Not so sure
  • Number of visits : 3835
  • Number of comments : 10
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About sanchezjesus368 : Hello. I see that you were curious to learn more about me how cute. Well if you really want to get to know me add me on Xbox-MonsterHunter32.

sanchezjesus368's page activity

Visits<b>taylor21398</b> - the 11/29/2013 at 6:49am<b>daveyyyyh</b> - the 11/04/2013 at 4:25pm<b>whos_ur_daddy1</b> - the 11/04/2013 at 4:01pm<b>Booda_Shun</b> - the 10/13/2013 at 12:39pm<b>olpally</b> - the 09/07/2013 at 11:53pm<b>fuzzylumpkins19</b> - the 08/09/2013 at 9:17am<b>semper_amo</b> - the 06/04/2013 at 11:13am<b>Zazoo1995</b> - the 05/07/2013 at 11:53pm<b>mvc3ftw</b> - the 05/01/2013 at 5:40pm<b>xxoriginalnamexx</b> - the 04/10/2013 at 10:40pm<b>dead_insects</b> - the 04/10/2013 at 7:35pm<b>MythicalPanda</b> - the 04/10/2013 at 1:25pm<b>XxKingQuacksxX</b> - the 03/19/2013 at 6:59pm<b>psychplease</b> - the 03/18/2013 at 5:37pm<b>oj101</b> - the 01/27/2013 at 2:01am

sanchezjesus368's FML badges

Who’s the fairest of them all?

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sanchezjesus368's favorite FMLs

Today, my wife of 2 years told me she was pregnant, after we've been trying for ages. Excited, about to call my parents, my wife then told me, "Don't get your hopes up it might not be yours, the father could be 5 other guys." And then asked me what I'd like for dinner. FML

by Cheated / 08/03/2010 at 12:07am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, I woke up to a pain on my eyelid. I stumbled into the bathroom to find a huge tick attached to the edge of my eyelid. My dad used tweezers to pull it off, only the head stuck. I had to go to the doctor and sit there for 15 minutes so she could pull the rest out. FML

by Sarah220 / 07/12/2010 at 12:31am / United States (Virginia) / Health

Today, I went out with my boyfriend and thought I'd wear two bras under my singlet-top to make my chest look bigger. Upon leaving Target, one of the security guards noticed the extra straps and accused me of shoplifting. I had to spend the next 20 minutes explaining the situation to security. FML

by embarrassed / 07/03/2010 at 3:14am / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out my 19 year old daughter is pregnant. The father is a toss up between my 45 year-old best friend, and the 30 year old guy who cleans our pool. FML

by Anonymous / 06/15/2010 at 9:27pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that my best friend kisses me while I sleep. We're both guys. FML

by weirdesout / 06/04/2010 at 10:03pm / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting it on when her cat attacked me. I was pissed, so I grabbed the cat and rushed outside to get rid of it. Little did I know, her parents were home, sitting outside. So I was naked, with a feral cat in front of my junk trying to kill me. All I could say was "Nice Weather?" FML

by Anonymous / 05/25/2010 at 7:33pm / Canada (Manitoba) / Intimacy

Today, I swerved to avoid running over a dead cat in the road. Instead, I ran over its head. The crack of its skull was loud enough for me to hear it. FML

by anonymous / 05/21/2010 at 1:26pm / United States (Arizona) / Animals

Today, I was with my girlfriend, thinking we were alone in the house. Her little brother found us having sex on the couch, took a pic and said, "You are now both my slaves." He ran upstairs and locked his bedroom door. FML

by junior / 04/11/2010 at 4:11am / United States (Arizona) / Intimacy

Today, I was with my girlfriend, thinking we were alone in the house. Her little brother found us having sex on the couch, took a pic and said, "You are now both my slaves." He ran upstairs and locked his bedroom door. FML

by junior / 04/11/2010 at 4:11am / United States (Arizona) / Intimacy

Today, I was with my girlfriend, thinking we were alone in the house. Her little brother found us having sex on the couch, took a pic and said, "You are now both my slaves." He ran upstairs and locked his bedroom door. FML

by junior / 04/11/2010 at 4:11am / United States (Arizona) / Intimacy

Today, I came back from a week long class trip. My mother took it upon herself to replace my bed sheets and clean my room. Apparently, she found a note under my mattress from my ex-boyfriend. It said "For all you future dudes, Connor was here first!" FML

by FASHlONABLE / 04/05/2010 at 3:32am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, fifteen minutes after dinner was served, my blind date says "It's good that you're smart. Not to be rude, but most girls aren't. I mean, at some point, I'm going to pull my dick out of your mouth and then it's good if you have something interesting to say." Check please. FML

by Hate2Date / 04/05/2010 at 1:14am / United States (Oklahoma) / Intimacy

Today, I took pills to make sure I lasted longer with my girlfriend. Good news? It worked fine and is still working now. Bad news? We've been done for a good two hours. FML

by imsorrylove / 03/31/2010 at 12:44am / United States / Intimacy

Today, my schlong decided to enter Mortal Kombat with my pants zipper. Guess which of the two won a flawless victory? FML

by liu_kang / 03/16/2010 at 2:55pm / United States / Health

Today, I was telling my sister about the stupid sorts of questions I get asked at work. She looked at me and said "I give you five years until you turn into a raging, chain-smoking corporate bitch." My mom agreed. FML

by ams / 03/12/2010 at 8:23pm / United States (Missouri) / Work