About sanchezjesus368 : Hello. I see that you were curious to learn more about me how cute. Well if you really want to get to know me add me on Xbox-MonsterHunter32.
Who’s the fairest of them all?
This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
Up and coming moderator
It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Today, I was at the supermarket checkout. I handed over my items, which included some tampons, tissues, and toilet roll. The security guard standing beside the cashier remarked loudly, "I'll be damned; she's flowing from every hole!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (31366) - you deserved it (2941) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Today, my wife told me she was pregnant. I don't remember having sex since last year. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26271) - you deserved it (3828)
On 05/12/2012 at 10:42am - intimacy - by rj - United States (Kansas)
Today, my girlfriend gave birth to our first child. Our nurse was the lady I had a one night stand with 3 nights ago, and yes she remembered me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7836) - you deserved it (119106)
On 05/06/2012 at 9:44pm - intimacy - by T3STI (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, my boyfriend and I were making love. I was really close to climaxing, when he suddenly stopped, smirked, and said, "Hang on, I'm buffering." FML
I agree, your life sucks (24485) - you deserved it (3005)
On 05/06/2012 at 2:39am - intimacy - by Kwalker3 - United States (California)
Today, I was at the supermarket when I saw an elderly lady slip on a wet patch of floor. I ran over to help, and I almost fell too before steadying myself. Then some pimply cockmunch of a teen decided to kick my legs out from under me and walk away while laughing his balls off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20175) - you deserved it (1639)
On 05/01/2012 at 12:17pm - health - by karmafails (woman) - United Kingdom (Surrey)
Today, it was my wedding day. With my best friend as the priest, she asked, "Do you take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband?" After saying I do, she then turned to him and asked, "Do you want to bang my friend?" Everyone laughed, except my already disapproving father. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21797) - you deserved it (3612)
On 04/23/2012 at 12:04am - love - by gottalovefriends - United States (New Hampshire)
Today, I had to put one of my preschool students in timeout for masturbating during nap time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28737) - you deserved it (2411)
On 04/17/2012 at 8:07pm - intimacy - by lindsaykay - United States
Today, I was looking through my Internet browsing history. Apparently my wife had searched "How to have an affair without getting caught". FML
I agree, your life sucks (29981) - you deserved it (1914)
On 04/17/2012 at 2:11pm - love - by Jason199615 - United States (Missouri)
Today, I held up my best friend with a lighter shaped like a gun, and jokingly accused him of sleeping with my wife, only to have him admit that he really did. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38377) - you deserved it (3725)
On 04/16/2012 at 4:12am - intimacy - by oface13 (man) - United States
Today, I thought about how my dad went to get me a Halloween costume and hasn't come home yet. That was 11 years ago. We've moved twice since then. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32093) - you deserved it (1771)
On 03/29/2012 at 12:53pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I made a new friend. He seemed pretty cool, until we came to the topic of religion and the ancient alien theory. I'm seemingly now friends with a guy who thinks alien Jesus raped an Earth woman, and we're the resulting cross-breed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13765) - you deserved it (2163)
On 03/27/2012 at 3:40am - misc - by blueglover - United States (California)
Today, my girlfriend called and said she had great news. Turns out I've cured her of that illness she gets every month. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22585) - you deserved it (13006)
On 03/14/2012 at 3:51am - misc - by daddy-o - United States (Utah)
Today, I caught myself yelling at the girl in the porn I was watching for looking at the camera every other second. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6831) - you deserved it (21651)
On 02/29/2012 at 5:36am - intimacy - by areyouserious - United States
Today, my husband and I went to our first counseling sessions, where the main focus was communication. When the therapist called us in together to discuss techniques we could use at home, my husband looked around, rolled his eyes, and responded with, "Uh huh" to every question. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16501) - you deserved it (2515)
On 02/23/2012 at 2:59am - love - by atsukobo (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I found out that my wife is pregnant again. During her last two pregnancies, she craved pop-tarts and screamed bloody murder at the drop of a hat, so I went out and bought a box for her. Turns out that this time, pop-tarts make her want to puke. Cue screaming. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25006) - you deserved it (3564)
On 02/22/2012 at 2:55pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Alberta)
Monday 17 June 2013
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