sanchezjesus368

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sanchezjesus368

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 14 May 1985 (31 years old)
  • <3 status : Not so sure
  • Number of visits : 4518
  • Number of comments : 10
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About sanchezjesus368 : Hello. I see that you were curious to learn more about me how cute. Well if you really want to get to know me add me on Xbox-MonsterHunter32.

sanchezjesus368's page activity

Visits<b>taylor21398</b> - the 11/29/2013 at 6:49am<b>daveyyyyh</b> - the 11/04/2013 at 4:25pm<b>whos_ur_daddy1</b> - the 11/04/2013 at 4:01pm<b>Booda_Shun</b> - the 10/13/2013 at 12:39pm<b>olpally</b> - the 09/07/2013 at 11:53pm<b>fuzzylumpkins19</b> - the 08/09/2013 at 9:17am<b>semper_amo</b> - the 06/04/2013 at 11:13am<b>Zazoo1995</b> - the 05/07/2013 at 11:53pm<b>mvc3ftw</b> - the 05/01/2013 at 5:40pm<b>xxoriginalnamexx</b> - the 04/10/2013 at 10:40pm<b>dead_insects</b> - the 04/10/2013 at 7:35pm<b>MythicalPanda</b> - the 04/10/2013 at 1:25pm<b>XxKingQuacksxX</b> - the 03/19/2013 at 6:59pm<b>psychplease</b> - the 03/18/2013 at 5:37pm<b>oj101</b> - the 01/27/2013 at 2:01am

sanchezjesus368's FML badges

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

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sanchezjesus368's favorite FMLs

Today, at work, my friend dared me to answer the next call on my phone by saying, "This is your local sperm bank. You jack it, we pack it." I did it. The person on the phone was my boss. FML

by girly girly / 05/26/2012 at 10:42am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I was at the supermarket checkout. I handed over my items, which included some tampons, tissues, and toilet roll. The security guard standing beside the cashier remarked loudly, "I'll be damned; she's flowing from every hole!" FML

by lafinesse / 05/14/2012 at 6:23pm / Miscellaneous

Today, my wife told me she was pregnant. I don't remember having sex since last year. FML

by rj / 05/12/2012 at 10:42am / United States (Kansas) / Intimacy

Today, my girlfriend gave birth to our first child. Our nurse was the lady I had a one night stand with 3 nights ago, and yes she remembered me. FML

by T3STI / 05/06/2012 at 9:44pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend and I were making love. I was really close to climaxing, when he suddenly stopped, smirked, and said, "Hang on, I'm buffering." FML

by Kwalker3 / 05/06/2012 at 2:39am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I was at the supermarket when I saw an elderly lady slip on a wet patch of floor. I ran over to help, and I almost fell too before steadying myself. Then some pimply cockmunch of a teen decided to kick my legs out from under me and walk away while laughing his balls off. FML

by karmafails / 05/01/2012 at 12:17pm / United Kingdom (Surrey) / Health

Today, it was my wedding day. With my best friend as the priest, she asked, "Do you take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband?" After saying I do, she then turned to him and asked, "Do you want to bang my friend?" Everyone laughed, except my already disapproving father. FML

by gottalovefriends / 04/23/2012 at 12:04am / United States (New Hampshire) / Love

Today, I had to put one of my preschool students in timeout for masturbating during nap time. FML

by lindsaykay / 04/17/2012 at 8:07pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I was looking through my Internet browsing history. Apparently my wife had searched "How to have an affair without getting caught". FML

by Jason199615 / 04/17/2012 at 2:11pm / United States (Missouri) / Love

Today, I held up my best friend with a lighter shaped like a gun, and jokingly accused him of sleeping with my wife, only to have him admit that he really did. FML

by oface13 / 04/16/2012 at 4:12am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I thought about how my dad went to get me a Halloween costume and hasn't come home yet. That was 11 years ago. We've moved twice since then. FML

by Anonymous / 03/29/2012 at 12:53pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I made a new friend. He seemed pretty cool, until we came to the topic of religion and the ancient alien theory. I'm seemingly now friends with a guy who thinks alien Jesus raped an Earth woman, and we're the resulting cross-breed. FML

by blueglover / 03/27/2012 at 3:40am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend called and said she had great news. Turns out I've cured her of that illness she gets every month. FML

by daddy-o / 03/14/2012 at 3:51am / United States (Utah) / Miscellaneous

Today, I caught myself yelling at the girl in the porn I was watching for looking at the camera every other second. FML

by areyouserious / 02/29/2012 at 5:36am / United States / Intimacy

Today, my husband and I went to our first counseling sessions, where the main focus was communication. When the therapist called us in together to discuss techniques we could use at home, my husband looked around, rolled his eyes, and responded with, "Uh huh" to every question. FML

by atsukobo / 02/23/2012 at 2:59am / United States (California) / Love