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salyssac's favorite FMLs
by BTM13 / 05/05/2012 at 11:19pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
Today, after several years of having her help me out by doing household chores, I bought my fifteen-year-old daughter a new pair of jeans. Her reaction was to squeal, "Master has presented Dobby with clothes. Dobby is free!" FML
by Anonymous / 04/13/2012 at 10:06pm / France / Miscellaneous
by KayleeXLoVe21 / 11/03/2011 at 7:48pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 10/16/2011 at 12:22am / United States (Texas) / Love
Today, for the first time, I beat my brother in a game of CoD. Not being a gamer, I was ecstatic. Later, when I was in the shower, my brother snuck in the bathroom, yelled "Napalm strike!" and threw our cat over the shower curtain like a furry grenade from hell. FML
by MLGreco / 10/14/2011 at 12:11pm / United States / Kids
Today, I was driving when I saw a spider hanging from the ceiling of my car. I'm terrified of spiders, so I was watching it instead the road. When I looked back at the road, I had just enough time to swerve to miss the fire hydrant but not the tree. Even the cop laughed at me. FML
by Anonymous / 01/12/2011 at 8:29am / United States (South Carolina) / Animals
by Anonymous / 01/09/2011 at 3:17pm / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy
Today, I came home from a long day at work to find a path of rose pedals from the front door. Gasping with surprise, I followed it past the living room... past the bedroom... into the kitchen, where there was a note that said "Friends coming over tonight, we need food, love you!" FML
by Romantic / 01/15/2010 at 3:33am / United States (Florida) / Love
Today, my girlfriend was telling me how concerned she was about her weight. I told her not to worry, because it gives more cushion for the pushin' anyway. She picked up a lamp and threw it right at my dingleberries. FML
by ouch / 12/09/2009 at 12:09pm / United States (California) / Love
by notsohappyniece / 11/02/2009 at 11:10am / United States (Alabama) / Miscellaneous
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