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salyssac

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salyssac

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Sunday 14 October 1990 (24 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 247
  • Number of comments : 18
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 13 posted

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salyssac's FML badges

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

salyssac's favorite FMLs

Today, while at the store, I realized how socially inept I am when I said "excuse me" to a shopping cart because it was in my way. FML

Today, after several years of having her help me out by doing household chores, I bought my fifteen-year-old daughter a new pair of jeans. Her reaction was to squeal, "Master has presented Dobby with clothes. Dobby is free!" FML

#19463606
583 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13355) - you deserved it (54621) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 04/13/2012 at 10:06pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - France

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. The lights kept on going on and off. Why? The lights are activated by "clap on, clap off." It killed the mood. FML

#18150434
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33845) - you deserved it (9003)

On 11/03/2011 at 7:48pm - intimacy - by KayleeXLoVe21 - United States (New York)

Today, I came home to my empty apartment. My girlfriend had left a note on the floor that said: "Took my stuff and left. Took your stuff and pawned it." FML

#17994746
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37359) - you deserved it (4785)

On 10/16/2011 at 12:22am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, for the first time, I beat my brother in a game of CoD. Not being a gamer, I was ecstatic. Later, when I was in the shower, my brother snuck in the bathroom, yelled "Napalm strike!" and threw our cat over the shower curtain like a furry grenade from hell. FML

#17981940
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44950) - you deserved it (5041)

On 10/14/2011 at 12:11pm - kids - by MLGreco - United States

Today, as my girlfriend and I were making love, and she started to moan and groan. All of a sudden, she stopped and said "I'm lying, you suck at this." FML

#16339516
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51863) - you deserved it (17597)

On 05/25/2011 at 4:23am - intimacy - by katie -

Today, I was driving when I saw a spider hanging from the ceiling of my car. I'm terrified of spiders, so I was watching it instead the road. When I looked back at the road, I had just enough time to swerve to miss the fire hydrant but not the tree. Even the cop laughed at me. FML

#14552215
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10536) - you deserved it (27624)

On 01/12/2011 at 8:29am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, my boyfriend tried to serenade me with The Sex is Good by Saving Abel. According to him, "I have to fake it, I'd leave if I could. I'm not in love, but the sex is good." FML

#14521815
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23329) - you deserved it (3508)

On 01/09/2011 at 3:17pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I came home from a long day at work to find a path of rose pedals from the front door. Gasping with surprise, I followed it past the living room... past the bedroom... into the kitchen, where there was a note that said "Friends coming over tonight, we need food, love you!" FML

#7353628
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30244) - you deserved it (3623)

On 01/15/2010 at 3:33am - love - by Romantic (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my girlfriend was telling me how concerned she was about her weight. I told her not to worry, because it gives more cushion for the pushin' anyway. She picked up a lamp and threw it right at my dingleberries. FML

#6679644
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7853) - you deserved it (68124)

On 12/09/2009 at 12:09pm - love - by ouch (man) - United States (California)

Today, my aunt came into the world. My 67 year-old grandfather married a 24 year-old woman who just gave birth to my new aunt, who is 18 years younger than me. FML

#6117794
219 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42467) - you deserved it (3255)

On 11/02/2009 at 11:10am - misc - by notsohappyniece (woman) - United States (Alabama)



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