This member hasn't filled in the description.
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I gave my girlfriend some non-alcoholic beer as a joke. In slurred speech, she told me I have the body of a monk seal. She then took my keys, staggered to my car, and drove away. She crashed into a tree two blocks later. She's fine. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16831) - you deserved it (21915)
On 02/06/2009 at 6:54pm - misc - by IntimidatorStag (man) - United States (California)
Today, my mom decided to tell me about her new boyfriend. I know him. I've slept with him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (68823) - you deserved it (14844)
On 02/06/2009 at 2:23pm - misc - by Noname - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. When he was about to orgasm, he screamed "Yes Brittany!" at the top of his lungs. My name's not Brittany. That's his sister. FML
I agree, your life sucks (538421) - you deserved it (38307)
On 02/06/2009 at 10:29am - intimacy - by caroline (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, my boyfriend of 2 years sent me a text messages saying, "Don't worry I'm gonna break up with her soon. Love you." FML
I agree, your life sucks (54483) - you deserved it (1988)
On 02/05/2009 at 5:29pm - misc - by nycgirl424 (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I decided to send my boyfriend a pic text of me naked. I accidentally sent it to my dad and got a text back saying, "You definitely take after your mom." FML
I agree, your life sucks (29846) - you deserved it (49086)
On 02/05/2009 at 9:09am - intimacy - by ruffrider (woman) - United States (South Carolina)
Today, I had just gotten over the flu and thought I was better. So me and my boyfriend decided to have sex. As I was about to orgasm, I puked all over his face. He was so disgusted that he ended up throwing up on me as well. FML
I agree, your life sucks (56028) - you deserved it (19892)
On 02/05/2009 at 9:06am - intimacy - by Foxy (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I fell asleep. I felt something on my face. I batted it away. It was my hamster. It died from a concussion upon hitting the wall. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28088) - you deserved it (10688)
On 02/04/2009 at 6:29pm - animals - by EpicFail (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I hooked up with this man for the first time. He takes his shirt off and has a chestful of black hair. He had his name shaved into it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29547) - you deserved it (6360)
On 02/04/2009 at 3:20pm - love - by banana (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I got stuck in an elevator for 2 hours with my boyfriend and the guy that I have been secretly having an affair with for 6 months. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31092) - you deserved it (247555)
On 02/02/2009 at 2:23pm - love - by Noname (woman) - United States (Maryland)
Today, I slept with this new guy for the first time. After sex, he said the doggie style position was fun, it made him wonder what it would be like to rape a girl. FML
I agree, your life sucks (56567) - you deserved it (4788)
On 02/01/2009 at 5:53am - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (New York)
Today, my "don't ever touch me" cat jumped next to me acting as if she wanted to be petted. In fact, she jumped next to me to share her nasty fart. I need a new kitty. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13166) - you deserved it (3257)
On 02/01/2009 at 3:55am - animals - by pretty princess - United States (Georgia)
Today, I was collecting on a bet I had with a buddy on a sports game. He owed me lunch. I have a huge crush on the waitress and told him. She asked if we wanted the checks split and he said, "No, my boyfriend doesn't have any money." FML
I agree, your life sucks (19897) - you deserved it (3888)
On 01/31/2009 at 1:19pm - love - by MichiganExile - United States (Michigan)
Today, I was at a bar in Canada and was really hitting it off with a girl. She asked how big my junk was and I told her in inches... They use centimeters. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17515) - you deserved it (33232)
On 01/29/2009 at 10:32am - intimacy - by KD - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I was getting hot, so I jumped, naked, into the pool. As soon as I got in, it started hailing. I got hit with blocks of ice in places no man should. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10683) - you deserved it (10584)
On 01/25/2009 at 2:38am - misc - by hailedout - South Africa (Gauteng)
Today, in class, I asked my teacher for a "rubber". I didn't realise that in America "rubber" doesn't mean "eraser", it means condom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (50296) - you deserved it (6943)
On 01/22/2009 at 7:42pm - intimacy - by TheEnglishOne - United States (California)
Monday 17 June 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML 
Follow the FML blog Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
