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s_t_e_p_h

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s_t_e_p_h
  • Town/Country : Stratford, Canada
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 14 May 1992 (21 years)
  • Number of visits : 5017
  • Number of comments : 11
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 9 posted

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Today, I gave my girlfriend some non-alcoholic beer as a joke. In slurred speech, she told me I have the body of a monk seal. She then took my keys, staggered to my car, and drove away. She crashed into a tree two blocks later. She's fine. FML

#12195
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18760) - you deserved it (24053)

On 02/06/2009 at 6:54pm - misc - by IntimidatorStag (man) - United States (California)

Today, my mom decided to tell me about her new boyfriend. I know him. I've slept with him. FML

#11697
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (72978) - you deserved it (15864)

On 02/06/2009 at 2:23pm - misc - by Noname - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my boyfriend of 2 years sent me a text messages saying, "Don't worry I'm gonna break up with her soon. Love you." FML

#10627
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57257) - you deserved it (2266)

On 02/05/2009 at 5:29pm - misc - by nycgirl424 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I decided to send my boyfriend a pic text of me naked. I accidentally sent it to my dad and got a text back saying, "You definitely take after your mom." FML

#9520
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31763) - you deserved it (55621)

On 02/05/2009 at 9:09am - intimacy - by ruffrider (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I had just gotten over the flu and thought I was better. So me and my boyfriend decided to have sex. As I was about to orgasm, I puked all over his face. He was so disgusted that he ended up throwing up on me as well. FML

#9514
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56871) - you deserved it (20112)

On 02/05/2009 at 9:06am - intimacy - by Foxy (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I fell asleep. I felt something on my face. I batted it away. It was my hamster. It died from a concussion upon hitting the wall. FML

#8687
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31341) - you deserved it (12047)

On 02/04/2009 at 6:29pm - animals - by EpicFail (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I hooked up with this man for the first time. He takes his shirt off and has a chestful of black hair. He had his name shaved into it. FML

#8288
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34044) - you deserved it (7504)

On 02/04/2009 at 3:20pm - love - by banana (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I got stuck in an elevator for 2 hours with my boyfriend and the guy that I have been secretly having an affair with for 6 months. FML

#5470
299 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37047) - you deserved it (322532)

On 02/02/2009 at 2:23pm - love - by Noname (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I slept with this new guy for the first time. After sex, he said the doggie style position was fun, it made him wonder what it would be like to rape a girl. FML

#4489
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60244) - you deserved it (5124)

On 02/01/2009 at 5:53am - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, my cat, who is very 'don't-ever-touch-me', jumped up next to me as if she wanted to be stroked. In reality, she wanted to share a hellish fart. I need a new cat. FML

#4464
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14663) - you deserved it (3717)

On 02/01/2009 at 3:55am - animals - by pretty princess - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was collecting on a bet I had with a buddy on a sports game. He owed me lunch. I have a huge crush on the waitress and told him. She asked if we wanted the checks split and he said, "No, my boyfriend doesn't have any money." FML

#4148
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25308) - you deserved it (4925)

On 01/31/2009 at 1:19pm - love - by MichiganExile - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was getting hot, so I jumped, naked, into the pool. As soon as I got in, it started hailing. I got hit with blocks of ice in places no man should. FML

#2492
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12629) - you deserved it (13436)

On 01/25/2009 at 2:38am - misc - by hailedout - South Africa (Gauteng)

Today, in class, I asked my teacher for a "rubber". I didn't realise that in America "rubber" doesn't mean "eraser", it means condom. FML

#2256
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51495) - you deserved it (6997)

On 01/22/2009 at 7:42pm - intimacy - by TheEnglishOne - United States (California)

Today, me and my family watched the video of my birth. In the video, when my mother sees me for the first time, she says "God he's ugly!" FML

#1975
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21585) - you deserved it (1288)

On 01/21/2009 at 1:02am - misc - by mat - Sent from mobile version



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