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Today, I was on the phone bragging to a friend about losing my virginity last night. When I went downstairs, my 6 year old sister was digging through my purse. She explained that she had overheard my conversation and wanted to help me find my virginity. My mom was in the kitchen with us. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14043) - you totally deserved it (36190)
On 08/13/2009 at 4:57pm - kids - by bubbalicious (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I went to the movies with my best friend. While waiting for it to start, I went on to describe this guy I really liked and how badly I wanted to do him. Just then the girl sitting behind us leans down and says "That's my little brother. So you're the creeper he talks about." FML
I agree, your life sucks (8873) - you totally deserved it (32289)
On 08/10/2009 at 2:12am - love - by HouseMdFangirl (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I found out that not only has my father been cheating on my mother with another woman, but they have a child together with the same name as me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (59186) - you totally deserved it (1291)
On 08/09/2009 at 5:26am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)
Today, my boyfriend told me he was going out tonight to celebrate his ex-but-still-friends-girlfriend's birthday at a local club and hopes I wasn't offended that I wasn't invited. I sure am offended; we have the same birthday. FML
I agree, your life sucks (51605) - you totally deserved it (1608)
On 07/29/2009 at 3:32pm - love - by imscrewed (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, my best friend told me she was pregnant over the phone. While in the middle of telling her congrats, she told me it was with my boyfriend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45644) - you totally deserved it (1458)
On 07/27/2009 at 7:10pm - misc - by thatonekid (woman) - United States (Missouri)
Today, I came home about two hours early from a friend's party. After I walked in and upstairs, I quickly and quietly left and went back to the party. I guess my parents decided to have a little party as well. It's called a threesome with my neighbor. They still don't know that I know. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44827) - you totally deserved it (2043)
On 07/21/2009 at 3:47pm - intimacy - by emkatch (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my girlfriend's dad chased me with a baseball bat because he found a pair of my boxers in her room. They were not there because I left them there, they were there because she stole them. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32591) - you totally deserved it (1455)
On 07/20/2009 at 1:40am - misc - by pyrosythan (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I found out that even though my parents have been married for 21 years, our "family friend," who routinely accompanies us on family vacations, completes their threesome. Everyone in town has know for years, except for me and my older brother. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34954) - you totally deserved it (1098)
On 07/19/2009 at 10:05pm - misc - by whitechocolate (woman) - United States (Maine)
Today, I was telling my dad about plans to go out late for a few drinks next week. My dad started his usual "YOU COULD GET RAPED!" lecture, before my brother sprang to my defence, "It's not like she's what they're after, is she?" Apparently, rapists are out of my league. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30577) - you totally deserved it (2364)
On 07/19/2009 at 1:11pm - misc - by adalia (woman) - United Kingdom (Barnsley)
Today, I went on a date with a girl. She drove while texting someone then stopped at a house and told me to wait in the car. She left her phone so I looked at the last text and it says "I'm here for the quicky". Our "date" was a decoy to throw her mom off so she could sleep with another guy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (48503) - you totally deserved it (2231)
On 07/19/2009 at 8:44am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, I got sick in the airsick bag as my flight landed. The woman next to me, trying to make me feel better, says "Don't handle landings too well?" I responded "No, I actually fly fine, I'm just 8 weeks pregnant." She looked at my left hand, noticed no ring, rolled her eyes and looked away. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31363) - you totally deserved it (9146)
On 07/18/2009 at 10:27pm - misc - by preggersss (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I was going on a first date with a girl I really like. We were going to see the new Harry Potter movie, and she told me she was getting all dressed up. It was only after I picked her up I realized she meant that she was dressing nicely. I was dressed as Harry Potter. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16000) - you totally deserved it (37702)
On 07/18/2009 at 9:26pm - misc - by harrysolo (man) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I found out that my son is not really gay. He just told me that so I'd let him have girls in his bedroom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12403) - you totally deserved it (48033)
On 07/17/2009 at 10:00pm - kids - by Pumpkin (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I was looking at my friend's dad's Facebook pictures because he recently posted a status update. I saw him at a bar with some ugly hooker that he was feeling up in almost every picture. After about 10 minutes of ridiculing and laughing at this ugly woman, I realize it's my mom in a wig. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35369) - you totally deserved it (4558)
On 07/08/2009 at 8:07pm - love - by disturbed2103 (man) - United States (California)
Today, I realized that a Ph.D. in Mechanical Engineering does not offer enough knowledge and experience to accomplish some simple, everyday tasks. I have spent the last 12 years designing large robots to scour the seabed for shipwrecks yet the mechanism used to unhook a bra eludes me. FML
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On 06/30/2009 at 10:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
