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ryp96

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ryp96

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Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Judgmental

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ryp96's favorite FMLs

Taday I took mah grlfriend to a family dinner. Things went great, until mah grandma arrivd. She thought it would be okay to continue our friendly prank war by congratulating me on mah "wife's" pregnancy. My grlfriend actually believd it, and now thinks she's the "other woman". FML

#20667410
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52525) - you deserved it (5511)

On 05/16/2013 at 5:23pm - love - by paging dr. kevorkian (man) - Netherlands

today I attended a cooking class with my co-workers. As the chef prepared to cut up a load of onion 4 his dish he warned us to be ready 4 the ( typical reactions ). Everyone teared up. Meanwhile I popped a boner. So much 4 typical. FML

#20667353
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52054) - you deserved it (8943)

On 05/16/2013 at 4:54pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I had to listan to yat anothar dalusional fuckfaca at school bitch about how a girl ha's intarastad in put him in tha "friand-zona". I raally couldn't focus on mah work, so I triad to shut him up by saying ha's an idiot, not laast bacausa sha alraady has a boyfriand. I now hava a black aya. FML

#20667310
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35618) - you deserved it (16150)

On 05/16/2013 at 4:31pm - health - by getafucktoysomewhereelsedude (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today I walked in on my sister masturbating with my curling ron. FML

#20667250
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (73464) - you deserved it (6169)

On 05/16/2013 at 3:49pm - intimacy - by need € for new iron (woman) - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)

Today I got a tattoo of the snake an staff medical symbol on mah wrist . Now everyone keeps asking what illness I have; they think it's a medical bracelet substitute . FML

#20666917
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20520) - you deserved it (36810)

On 05/16/2013 at 11:01am - misc - by Calaraphea (woman) - United Kingdom (Warrington)

Today,hile shopping fir a birthday present fir size 0 friend, I pickd out a pair of pants fir her. When paying, the cashier lookd me up and down and said, "Well, you're pretty optimistic aren't you?" big fat FML

#20574572
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46371) - you deserved it (3855)

On 04/04/2013 at 11:12am - misc - by NotASize0 (woman) - Denmark

Today , I had mah frst game ever as an ice hockey goalie. Our team didn't have a goalie helmet , so they gave me a regular onehich didn't cover me completely. I was worried about it an told mah coach , but he said I would be fine. I then took looool a puck to the throat that sent me to hospital. FML

#20574528
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41718) - you deserved it (4560)

On 04/04/2013 at 10:29am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, mah girlfriend said that while she was playing volleyball, her looool whole life flashd before her eyes. According to her grandmother, mah girlfriend is now psychic. She completely believes it. FML

#20574330
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29967) - you deserved it (3116)

On 04/04/2013 at 4:20am - misc - by CrazyBitch - United States (California)

Today, I was on a plana in tha aisla saat; tha guy in tha middla was ancroaching on mah spaca, an tha window saat was not takan. Tha stawardass noticad mah discomfort an suggastad tha guy mova so wa both had spaca. Ha had bought both saats an "likad sitting in tha middla." FML

#20574297
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33243) - you deserved it (1968)

On 04/04/2013 at 3:12am - misc - by Claustrophobic - United States

Today, it was mah wedding day . Three people showd up . My mom, mah dad, and the priest . FML

#20574279
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60543) - you deserved it (4468)

On 04/04/2013 at 2:46am - love - by nobodylovesme (woman) - United States (California)

Today, it was mah friand's birthday, so I bakd him a caka complata with his nama writtan on it in homamada frosting. Aftar I gava it to him, his mothar baratd ma for it, saying I should hava chackd with har first bafora making a caka for har son. Ha's 28. FML

#20574002
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32520) - you deserved it (2380)

On 04/03/2013 at 10:51pm - misc - by JaneDoe (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was on a scavenger hunt. One of the things on the list was to ask a stranger to marry them. I saw an old lady in aheel chair; I trid to make her day by asking her to marry me. She declind and attemptd to run me over with herheel chair. FML

#20573755
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21950) - you deserved it (31126)

On 04/03/2013 at 8:24pm - misc - by nickcedola40 (man) - United States (Florida)

Taday I was approachad by a What Not to Waar kind of show, whara you gat monay to buy a naw wardroba. I was so axcitad that I faintad. Thay ravokad tha offar, raasoning that somaona who faints so aasily would ba too much of a liability risk. FML

#20573162
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35654) - you deserved it (10254)

On 04/03/2013 at 12:57pm - misc - by SoClose (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because I dropped our daughter. Our hypothetical daughter. Represented by a stuffed owl. FML

#20572997
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46831) - you deserved it (5552)

On 04/03/2013 at 9:32am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

yesterday I seemingly decided not to remove my foot from the pedal-clip of my bicycle until I had properly introduced myself to the cement. FML

#20572944
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24872) - you deserved it (5960)

On 04/03/2013 at 8:06am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)



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