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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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rupert_45

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rupert_45
  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 291
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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rupert_45's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend went and bought Skyrim, Modern Warfare 3 and renewed his WoW subscription. Looks like I won't be getting laid for a month or two. FML

#18273262 (652)

I agree, your life sucks (31928) - you deserved it (7565)

On 11/17/2011 at 3:22pm - intimacy - by anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my son asked me where babies come from. I told him, "From god." He came back with, "Daddy said it was from fucking." FML

#18255063 (199)

I agree, your life sucks (9948) - you deserved it (5837)

On 11/15/2011 at 12:20pm - intimacy - by lababy - United States

Today, my daughter asked me how to spell "Orange". "O-R-A-N-G-E" I replied. Without missing a beat, she says "No, I mean the colour, not the fruit." She is 16. FML

#18234448 (246)

I agree, your life sucks (30796) - you deserved it (4934)

On 11/13/2011 at 1:53am - kids - by weswithaute - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, our power went out due to some severe storms. My daughter, who is 18, asked me why the lights on the car still worked. FML

#17333376 (279)

I agree, your life sucks (11049) - you deserved it (2887)

On 08/01/2011 at 4:18pm - misc - by OhDeary (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, a little boy called me on the phone, crying "grandma died" in a broken voice. I just didn't have the heart to say "wrong number." FML

#15250352 (156)

I agree, your life sucks (33985) - you deserved it (2933)

On 03/09/2011 at 10:47am - kids - by Waffle -

Today, I overheard my boyfriend of two years tell his friend he was going to "pop the question". Ecstatic, I wore my nicest dress and got my hair done for dinner. Near the end, he leant in romantically and asked if we could start doing anal. So much for marriage. FML

#14326662 (148)

I agree, your life sucks (25900) - you deserved it (5009)

On 12/24/2010 at 7:00pm - intimacy - by snoozerlooser (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, while I was having sex with my girlfriend, I was struck with a white-hot pain, and in the confusion thought her vagina had contracted hard. It turned out it was actually my uncircumcised penis retracting for the first time in my life. FML

#13975115 (145)

I agree, your life sucks (17137) - you deserved it (4827)

On 11/25/2010 at 1:18pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Singapore

Today, my husband discovered that whispering anything in my ear will turn me on. He turned to me and whispered 'cheeseburger' in my ear. Unfortunately, I moaned. Now he now laughs about it with our roommate. FML

#12377816 (205)

I agree, your life sucks (19039) - you deserved it (12764)

On 08/07/2010 at 9:05pm - intimacy - by Indigo_Kitten (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, while in bed with my game obsessed girlfriend, she told me I was a "noob" in bed. FML

#8455591 (284)

I agree, your life sucks (11223) - you deserved it (3845)

On 02/19/2010 at 8:47pm - intimacy - by anonymous - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I had a wrestling match. Someone put Viagra in my waterbottle. FML

#7490616 (196)

I agree, your life sucks (36723) - you deserved it (2838)

On 01/22/2010 at 12:06am - misc - by wrestler133 - Sent from mobile version

Today, I sneezed seven times in a row. That's the closest thing I've had to an orgasm in months. FML

#6838088 (64)

I agree, your life sucks (11721) - you deserved it (2253)

On 12/19/2009 at 11:13pm - intimacy - by omglifee (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, it was my birthday. My girlfriend took me out to dinner. While at the restaurant, she went to the bathroom. She was then escorted out of the restaurant for having sex in said bathroom. I was sitting at our booth the entire time. FML

#6791694 (56)

I agree, your life sucks (17131) - you deserved it (1348)

On 12/17/2009 at 10:35am - intimacy - by turriblebday (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I got a call from my daughter's pre-school. Apparently, she is being suspended, for answering; "What do your parents do at home?" She told them, "My parents fuck." FML

#6712384 (176)

I agree, your life sucks (9421) - you deserved it (24052)

On 12/11/2009 at 7:45pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out that my wife had an affair with our marriage counselor. FML

#6480893 (135)

I agree, your life sucks (45040) - you deserved it (1930)

On 11/27/2009 at 4:39pm - love - by Nobody (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I sent my main man a picture of the two of us out on our second date. He immediately added it to his MySpace account, with the caption, "clubbin with my hoe." FML

#6433448 (79)

I agree, your life sucks (11740) - you deserved it (5636)

On 11/24/2009 at 3:54am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)