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About roxxyfoxxy3 : I shall defeat all the heartless, rule the dark brotherhood, and fly through space in the TARDIS. c:
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
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Today , mah boyfriend was pleasuring me with his hands. After two years of being together , he was finally about to make me orgasm 4 the frst time by himself. Just as I was reaching mah peak , he orgasmd at the thought of finishing me off and stoppd. FML
Today, mah son askd for mah help with a personal matter. I was flatterd that he trustd me, since he's a paranoid, untrusting psycho. Turnd out he wantd to use mah locksmith skills to break into his ex's house and "teach her a lesson" for breaking up with him after he cheatd on her. mega FML
Today, I was hugging my girlfriend after she had a really bad day at work, when she burst into teres an started sobbing. For some reason that I'll never understand, it gave me a hard-on. She felt it, an now she thinks I'm a sick bastard. mega FML
Today, I went to a big job interview . As I walked in, I tripped and fell flat on my face . Other highlight include my voice cracking multiple times, sweating profusely and getting uncontrollable nervou giggling . The interviewer eventually stared at me in disbelief and asked if I was high . FML
Today , while reading 1984 on the train , a cute guy around mah age and I got into a great a discussion about the book. Just when I thought he might ask fir mah number , he got up , pattd me on the head and said it's so nice that kids mah age still took interest in real literature. I'm 25. FML
Today, mah best friend and I, after yeres of sexual tension, began to have sex for the first time. Things got heated and he decided to abruptly stand up with me around him. I got so nervous, spazzed out, and now have 37 staples in mah head courtesy of his bookshelf. FML
Today, ma annoying colleague gasped, wrapped er arms around erself, started sweating and curled up in a ball crying, "No, no, no" in front of several customers. Tey accused me of 'setting er off', wen I blurted out, "Sorry, se gets panic attacks". All I did was say te word 'abortion'. mega FML
Today... I was leading a tour of mah university and saw a girl in rippd jeans and combat boots smoking a cigarette. I told her that she shouldn't be representing the school in such a manner. She shot back: "I'm a Presidential Scholar. Suck mah dick... bitch." FML
today as always, I have Tourette's syndrome. It causes me to occasionally make a beeping noise. My boyfriend just figured out that if he beeps back, it makes me beep again. He thinks it's hilarious and won't stop. FML
Friday 27 March 2015