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She isn't automatically wrong for rejecting it, oddly enough. And it's hard to trust the assessment of brutal from somebody who got turned down. Maybe he asked in a big public display and she had to either turn him down then, or say yes then tell him "actually, no" later on. Either would feel rough. Plus they may still be together, it's not always all or nothing.

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#47 While I agree, most people know what to expect from a relationship, especially when it comes to marriage, and if it wasn't clear before he proposed. It should have been made clear afterwards, judging by his use of the word "Brutal" I assume she doesn't really see it going anywhere and declined without adding "Not now" Or "I'm not ready". But again, we have limited info.

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If she didn't want to marry the dude, that's her right. Maybe she just wasn't ready yet, in which case they should still be together. But rejecting a marriage proposal does not make someone wrong, they are not obliged to spend the rest of their life with someone. If it was the other way round, and OP was a female who'd proposed to a man, nobody would even think twice about the fact that a dude said no.

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#84 Id like to point out that the FML is about the awkwardness of the drive not that he was wrong to refuse. Also the fact the he used the word brutally tells me that this wasnt one of those "not yet" or "it isn't you it's me" kinda things and that she wasnt going to continue the relationship meaning it might have been better for one of you to take the train

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You do realise just because she said "no" doesn't mean she doesn't love him or want to spend the rest of her life with him right? Some women are just against the idea of marriage. It's basically just spending money on a piece of paper with a couple of signatures on it, nobody needs that to "prove" they love somebody and are committed to them. You can easily change a last name if you want to share one, it is very possible she just doesn't agree with the "rules" of marriage, or is protecting herself in the event it might not work out. Ending a marriage is much harder, takes far longer and is much more expensive than ending a relationship. For all we know they've only been together a few weeks/months, OP could have way jumped the gun, or might be proposing in an attempt to fix a failing or distant relationship that she isn't willing to commit to unless things get better. I know from experience that you can love somebody but feel something is missing or not right, i made the mistake of accepting a proposal in the hope it would fix things. Long story short it didn't, it just made him confident he had me for good so he didn't need to try to fix things we'd discussed he needed to change because i was becoming unhappy with how things were. It hurt us both more in the long run.

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Because she didn't want to marry him?... Right, that makes sense. I forgot girls must ALWAYS say yes when the question is asked On the other hand, we don't exactly know what OP means by brutally rejected. Maybe her actions are walk-worthy

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If the "brutal rejection" meant a terribly rude and bitchy rejection, then yeah walk worthy. But if he meant brutal as in a very direct rejection (making the rejection itself the "brutal" part, and not necessarily rudeness on her part) then I wouldn't blame her. If the latter were the case, I don't think she should have to find her own way home. If they're 7 hours away from home, chances are they are at some getaway/vacation together and the OP planned to have a romantic proposal there. If he was planning to propose, he should also have been aware that a "no" was possible too. It sucks, but why should his gf have to pay a ton of money (especially if the car is a shared one or if it's owned by her) and spend double the time getting home on the bus, just because she said "no?" It just wouldn't seem very "decent" to me if a man ditched his girlfriend 7 hours away from their home just because she didn't say yes.

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I don't know about 'ditching' her, but if I was that woman, and I had any respect for my partner who I had just flat out rejected when he asked me to marry him, not only would I not want to spend a 7 hour journey stuck in a car with him, I certainly wouldn't ever want to subject him to it. It's almost cruel. You're also way oversimplifying with 'just because she didn't say yes' he didn't ask if she wanted a taco. He asked her to spend the rest of her life with him, and she said she didn't want to.

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If she didn't want to marry the dude, that's her right. Maybe she just wasn't ready yet, in which case they should still be together. But rejecting a marriage proposal does not make someone wrong, they are not obliged to spend the rest of their life with someone. If it was the other way round, and OP was a female who'd proposed to a man, nobody would even think twice about the fact that a dude said no.

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He may have just taken it to be brutal because his ego was damaged. And it's not fair to make someone find a separate way home when it's a seven hour drive, that's just fucking unreasonable. If OP was that cut up about it he could find different transport.

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only because she didn't want to marry him, it doesn't mean they broke up. some people want to spend the rest of their life with someone and not be married. and hey, maybe it was her car and she gave him a lift. we don't know that.

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I agree that they shouldn't have drove 7 hours together, walking may be a bit extreme but there is the bus or train even if she wasnt mean or anything and even if she still wanted to continue the relationship, they shouldn't be together in a confined space for seven hours they at least need a day apart to get over the awkwardness

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If she rejected him, brutally no less, it most likely means OP dropped the proposal bomb on her without assessing what her feelings on marriage (and specifically, marriage to him) beforehand. He probably baselessly assumed that the answer would be yes, in which case, HDI.

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Yep. The movie idea of a sudden proposal without any prior discussion, isn't usually a great idea. When combined with it being a big public proposal, even worse. He may have done something that was a bad idea, so any refusal seemed brutal. Yes, I've mentally decided this was what happened. Or they could have discussed it, been a lovely proposal and she's a bitch. Although you'd think he'd have noticed that, so why even be with her? I've somehow ended up thinking it's his fault. Likely unfairly.

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43, your line of thought made perfect sense to me! I can't help but feel that there would have been no rejection, at least not of the brutal variety, if there had been some prior discussion. Maybe a "yeah, I know we talked about this, but I don't think I'm truly ready yet, sorry," but not an FML-worthy rejection. Or maybe I'm being too optimistic.

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#43 you have a very good point. Movies/Television do indeed make out like all women want marriage and will love some big public proposal that is a complete surprise, which is probably giving the poor average guy the wrong idea. I feel sorry for all the guys that must get caught out by this, they think they're doing something romantic and wonderful, no wonder it feels so brutal if they get a no. Although, i'm sure sometimes the sheer shock from it being unexpected makes a woman react more negatively than she means to, and the intention isn't to hurt the guy.

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I assumed they meant so the whole story could be submitted. But it'd end up with a load of depressing, boring essays. Rather than most follow-ups which can just answer questions.

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Thanks 25 and yeah that is true, 30 but it is usually limited along with the lack of quick responses. Hence why my replies were late XD and i can see what you mean, 45

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