Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

rottentomatoes

Search for a member

rottentomatoes

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 19 March 1997 (17 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 7691
  • Number of comments : 289
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About rottentomatoes : Just so you know, I made this account before I knew about the site. I do watch a lot of movies though.

Feel free to message me.

rottentomatoes's page activity

Visits<b>ireply_wlyrics</b> - the 11/29/2014 at 6:09pm<b>babywatcher</b> - the 11/28/2014 at 2:51pm<b>Star1398</b> - the 11/25/2014 at 11:10am<b>AKCowboysFan</b> - the 11/18/2014 at 7:23pm<b>KJxFTW</b> - the 11/14/2014 at 12:27pm<b>kelseysking</b> - the 11/11/2014 at 1:53pm<b>snazman</b> - the 10/29/2014 at 12:07am<b>piggybits</b> - the 10/26/2014 at 6:10pm<b>yonbon</b> - the 10/23/2014 at 6:10pm<b>BlazeArmy</b> - the 09/28/2014 at 4:22pm<b>Toughsky</b> - the 09/24/2014 at 10:13pm<b>DMITRENAK15</b> - the 09/14/2014 at 10:39pm<b>TheSovietOnion</b> - the 09/07/2014 at 3:19pm<b>nataliewby</b> - the 09/04/2014 at 3:28pm<b>Ilikepie467</b> - the 08/31/2014 at 3:57am<b>Imjuststr8n4sty</b> - the 08/23/2014 at 11:20pm<b>Broadway_Vayne</b> - the 08/05/2014 at 11:23pm<b>KitchKraft</b> - the 08/02/2014 at 4:35pm

rottentomatoes's FML badges

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

See all of rottentomatoes's badges

rottentomatoes's favorite FMLs

Today, I was so hungover, I started yelling at inanimate objects. My mom walked in on me calling my cereal a "worthless piece of shit sent from the bowels of Hell." FML

#16950938
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10261) - you deserved it (43164)

On 07/02/2011 at 4:54pm - misc - by Cowgirl_Up37 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I tried to comfort my daughter who'd been crying non-stop for hours. She thinks Chuck Norris is coming to kill her, and I can't convince her otherwise. FML

#16936128
310 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35945) - you deserved it (4929)

On 07/01/2011 at 1:42pm - kids - by parenting sucks - United States (New York)

Today, as I was going to bed, I spotted a man staring at my window from a neighbor's yard. Ten minutes later, he was still there. I freaked out, started crying, and contemplated calling the cops. My creeper turned out to be the neighbor's wooden lawn ornament. FML

#16925056
222 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11975) - you deserved it (33231)

On 06/30/2011 at 5:10pm - misc - by Nell (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I introduced my first serious boyfriend to my mother over dinner. He is Asian. My mom insisted on calling him "Ching Chong". His name is Kevin. FML

#16918734
19 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51208) - you deserved it (4745)

On 06/30/2011 at 3:24am - misc - by asianlover (woman) - Finland (Western Finland)

Today, I got asked on a date. I was later told we had to cancel. Why? My ex is parked in front of his house and he is afraid to leave. FML

#16911050
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40704) - you deserved it (3546)

On 06/29/2011 at 4:41pm - love - by nolove4me (woman) - United States (Alaska)

Today, on the bus, a delusional old man had an extremely long conversation with me, referring to me as "Leslie" and talking about "our childhood together". Not wanting to hurt his feelings I played along. At his stop he got up and grinned at me, saying "I'm kidding. I never knew a Leslie in my life. Nice rack." FML

#16860650
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38880) - you deserved it (15623)

On 06/26/2011 at 2:12am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Today, I walked around for hours with a post-it on my back reading "I JUST HAD SEX!" My boyfriend stuck it on me. FML

#16846296
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36477) - you deserved it (7647)

On 06/25/2011 at 4:39am - intimacy - by suxx - United States (New Jersey)

Today, as I passed my fiancé the pancakes I had just made, he vocalised his happiness with a groan that was EXACTLY like the one he makes when we have sex. So on a sexiness rating, I'm a pancake. FML

#16830910
354 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35461) - you deserved it (9760)

On 06/24/2011 at 6:45am - intimacy - by Eve (woman) - Ireland (Cork)

Today, my mom looked through my browser history and saw Chatroulette. She thought I'd gotten into online gambling, and wouldn't believe me when I explained what it really was. After I insisted on showing her, the first chat window to open contained cocks as far as the eye could see. FML

#16488839
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21610) - you deserved it (38024)

On 06/03/2011 at 8:41pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was shopping for clothes. I thought this guy was a mannequin because he was standing perfectly still. I poked him and he screamed like a girl. FML

#16464729
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14022) - you deserved it (32578)

On 06/02/2011 at 6:05am - misc - by ohcrap - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, against my wishes, my family and I went swimming with sharks. While in the shark cage, a shark got within a few feet of us. My cowardly bowels objected and caused me to shit myself. FML

#16403007
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37577) - you deserved it (10565)

On 05/29/2011 at 2:22pm - animals - by Brie - United States

Today, I noticed my hidden porn folder on my laptop had been renamed to "LOL". I live with my teenage daughter, and no one else. FML

#16383481
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15328) - you deserved it (57031)

On 05/28/2011 at 5:24am - intimacy - by redhanded (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I woke up face-down in my grandfather's driveway, soaking wet with no pants, glitter in my hair, and holding an empty Skippy peanut butter jar. No one will tell me what happened. FML

#16258570
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32943) - you deserved it (20262)

On 05/19/2011 at 9:38pm - misc - by Devon (man) - United States (Vermont)

Today, my husband got out of the shower, came downstairs naked screaming ''EMBRACE THE HARDNESS!!'' Little did he know, my step mother was sitting right there at the kitchen table. FML

#15934305
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44786) - you deserved it (5617)

On 04/26/2011 at 1:28pm - intimacy - by Scarlett - United States (Washington)

Today, I wore a fake wedding ring on my left hand when buying a pregnancy test so the cashier at Walmart wouldn't think I'm a slut. FML

#15738282
286 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20607) - you deserved it (67872)

On 04/11/2011 at 9:16am - intimacy - by CheeseyPotatoes (woman) - United States (Florida)



FML's blog

  • Malec's illustrated FML
  • Life is like a box of chocolate full of piece of rabbit droppings sometimes, isn't it? OK, I'll admit that's a weird way to start an article a few days before Christmas. Let me explain: you try and get…

Friday 12 December 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: