About rottentomatoes : Just so you know, I made this account before I knew about the site. I do watch a lot of movies though.
Feel free to message me.
Who’s the fairest of them all?
This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
Up and coming moderator
It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
Beginner
You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.
Today, the guy at Subway asked if I wanted to make my sandwich a footlong. I'm not sure what came over me, but before I realized what I was saying, I'd told him that I couldn't handle 12 inches. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20654) - you deserved it (6985)
On 08/14/2011 at 1:44pm - misc - by Username - United States (New York)
I agree, your life sucks (26800) - you deserved it (3816)
On 08/12/2011 at 2:17am - misc - by TuteSweet - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I was walking along a crowded pier when I stopped to read a sign next to an oddly placed bush. Not even two seconds later, a man popped out of the bush and made me wet myself. People were filming it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18187) - you deserved it (3316)
On 08/07/2011 at 7:19pm - misc - by Polmkk (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was sitting in the hospital waiting area. An old lady was crying, and my five year old daughter asked her, "Are you okay?" The woman quietly nodded, prompting my daughter to scream at the top of her lungs, "Well shut up then!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (28528) - you deserved it (8921)
On 08/06/2011 at 9:40pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I was taking a dump behind a dumpster. I suddenly heard a noise and a vibration against the dumpster. It was a garbage truck lifting it to collect the trash. The garbage men started laughing and took out their phones. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7838) - you deserved it (53737)
On 08/04/2011 at 10:35am - misc - by jshi8 - United States (Maryland)
Today, my old neighbor pelted me with apples when I walked out the door. I ducked for cover and asked what her problem was. She yelled, "You took fresh peas from my garden!" I looked at her garden, only to see my dad tiptoeing back to our lawn, laughing and holding a bag full of peas. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25663) - you deserved it (2098)
On 08/02/2011 at 2:36pm - misc - by scully11 (woman) - Canada (New Brunswick)
Today, my boyfriend decided it'd be funny to create a "place" on Facebook for my vagina. Now he "checks-in" every time we have sex. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43315) - you deserved it (7596)
On 08/02/2011 at 12:52am - intimacy - by INside (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, my boyfriend decided it'd be funny to create a "place" on Facebook for my vagina. Now he "checks-in" every time we have sex. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43315) - you deserved it (7596)
On 08/02/2011 at 12:52am - intimacy - by INside (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I had a completely normal work day. Other than the fact that my boss dressed up like the lead singer from KISS and hit us with a foam sword at random. My boss is 49. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21939) - you deserved it (4561)
On 07/19/2011 at 11:19am - work - by Bill Harrison - United States
Today, my parents think that I don't realize all the sexual euphemisms in their conversations. One of the more recent ones being made by my dad at the dinner table: "This sausage is great, honey, but mine is bigger and tastier!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (35937) - you deserved it (2700)
On 07/13/2011 at 2:16pm - intimacy - by wittlegirl - United States (California)
Today, I was robbed by a guy wearing a ninja turtle costume. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34349) - you deserved it (4782)
On 07/09/2011 at 8:19pm - money - by Lame (man) - United States (New York)
Today, a business man in his forties tackled me to the ground in an attempt to take my seat on a crowded train. When that didn't work, he called me a fat bitch and gave me the finger. The seat was given up for me because I'm seven months pregnant. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45704) - you deserved it (2289)
On 07/07/2011 at 6:52pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom
Today, it's my birthday. I got a phone call from my high school bully, to remind me that he'll always be able to find me and do whatever he wants to me. He does this every year. I turn 34 today. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36251) - you deserved it (5824)
On 07/07/2011 at 8:19am - misc - by Snurkles (man) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, my mom tried to sell me a bag of rice, with "Cocaine" written on the side of it in sharpie pen. In exchange for my soul. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28009) - you deserved it (2712)
On 07/05/2011 at 10:54pm - misc - by Username - United States
Today, I had to drive my drunk parents home from a party. They leaned out the window and barked at everyone we passed all the way home. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24625) - you deserved it (2588)
On 07/04/2011 at 1:45am - misc - by monquiqui (woman) - United States (Hawaii)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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