Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

rottentomatoes

Search for a member

rottentomatoes

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 19 March 1997 (18 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 8251
  • Number of comments : 289
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About rottentomatoes : Just so you know, I made this account before I knew about the site. I do watch a lot of movies though.

Feel free to message me.

rottentomatoes's page activity

Visits<b>Viola_Player</b> - the 03/25/2015 at 1:29am<b>buckydargon</b> - the 03/20/2015 at 4:13pm<b>AnthriX95</b> - the 03/13/2015 at 5:54pm<b>ZoeeeGuyss</b> - the 03/12/2015 at 11:25am<b>Ethann44</b> - the 03/09/2015 at 6:52pm<b>Eyeslick</b> - the 03/07/2015 at 10:24pm<b>Exodiafinder687</b> - the 03/05/2015 at 7:23pm<b>i_love_him_</b> - the 03/05/2015 at 4:44pm<b>rocker_chick23</b> - the 02/19/2015 at 1:54pm<b>snarkytruth</b> - the 02/14/2015 at 1:48pm<b>EnigMind</b> - the 02/11/2015 at 1:42pm<b>Retaheki</b> - the 02/07/2015 at 4:26am<b>bughug1999</b> - the 01/25/2015 at 2:23pm<b>Star1398</b> - the 01/09/2015 at 11:16am<b>surranger</b> - the 12/31/2014 at 12:31am<b>ireply_wlyrics</b> - the 11/29/2014 at 6:09pm<b>babywatcher</b> - the 11/28/2014 at 2:51pm<b>KJxFTW</b> - the 11/14/2014 at 12:27pm

rottentomatoes's FML badges

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

See all of rottentomatoes's badges

rottentomatoes's favorite FMLs

TODAY , I WITNESSED MY GIRLFRIEND SCRATCH HER CROTCH AN THEN SNIFF HER FINGERS. FML

#12817288
245 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39617) - you deserved it (12421)

On 08/30/2010 at 3:30am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Yesterday, my new girlfriend, with whom I have had sex, showed me her collection of sex toys. She picked up one approximately the size of my forearm and said ( This one is my favorite ) now I'm scared for her to see me naked. FML

#12768681
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41625) - you deserved it (4516)

On 08/27/2010 at 5:15am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (South Carolina)

Today I proposd to mah grlfriend from the top of a bungee jumping platform at an amusement park. I yelld out ( WILL YOU MARRY ME? ) from the platform pointing her out. Turns out I was pointing at the wrong grl. My grlfriend was very angry and ran away when the wrong grl yelld ( Yes! ) FML

#12757529
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34436) - you deserved it (14468)

On 08/26/2010 at 4:06pm - love - by Ido (man) - Canada (Ontario)

2day I came home to see my husband talking to his penis. FML

#12714961
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29581) - you deserved it (10156)

On 08/24/2010 at 2:17am - intimacy - by chewybarseventy (woman) - United States (California)

Today wile getting out of Starbucks tere was a omeless guy. I bougt im a coffee an e was so appy e gave me a ug. Guess wose wallet is missing? FML

#12674588
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35236) - you deserved it (12714)

On 08/22/2010 at 12:27am - money - by coffee - United States (Florida)

Today, My Mom Felt The Need To Walk Around School And Tell Everyone To Be Nice To Me Cuz I Just Started My Period. Mega FML

#12616520
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56213) - you deserved it (3692)

On 08/19/2010 at 12:12am - intimacy - by Jordid - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was aving it off wit ma boyfriend!! He is te kind of guy tat likes to keep tings interesting!! Just as e startd climaxing, e began to meow!! FML

#12438405
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30610) - you deserved it (8164)

On 08/10/2010 at 7:58pm - intimacy - by verno02 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my husband discoverd that whispering anything in my ear will turn me on. He turnd to me an whisperd 'cheeseburger' in my ear. Unfortunately, I moand. Now he now laughs about it with our roommate. FML

#12377816
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27536) - you deserved it (17826)

On 08/07/2010 at 9:05pm - intimacy - by Indigo_Kitten (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today I ad to explain to my doctor and parents tat I dislocatd my soulder wile masturbating. FML

#12316575
243 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30552) - you deserved it (34561)

On 08/04/2010 at 8:24pm - intimacy - by kinky - United States (Virginia)

yesterday I was babysitting fir mum's friend. I putted her little boy on knee, an he kept pulling at top. I asked him ( are you hungry? ) He replied ( No, I want to see your titties. ) FML

#12305756
290 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38477) - you deserved it (10240)

On 08/04/2010 at 6:25am - intimacy - by Embarressed... (woman) - United Kingdom (Derbyshire)

Today, I was rubbing mah lips against mah boyfriend's lipshen I said ( Your mustache tickles ) in a sexy tone. His response was ( So does yours. ) FML

#12161985
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23015) - you deserved it (29266)

On 07/28/2010 at 7:20am - intimacy - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was showing a house to a couple who were interested in buying. At least they "were" interested until they opened the blinds, looked out of the bedroom window and saw the neighbor on the toilet taking a dump. He was naked. He was hairy. He smiled and waved. FML

#12109391
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34494) - you deserved it (3190)

On 07/25/2010 at 8:07pm - work - by anon (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was walking down te street an spotted a man wo was about 6 an a alf feet tall passing by me. As e passed me, I turned an asked im "How's te weater up tere?" He ten turned around, spat on me, an replied "Raining." FML

#12099804
312 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13548) - you deserved it (117028)

On 07/25/2010 at 5:06am - misc - by spriggs (man) - United States (California)

Today, ma girlfriend of looool 2 yeres broke up wit me because se said I was more of a woman tan se was. I yelld out, "I HATE YOU!" an startd to cry. Se ten took a tampon out of er purse, andd it to me, laugd, an walkd away. fat FML

#12082068
301 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17285) - you deserved it (68333)

On 07/24/2010 at 6:53am - misc - by GirlishMan1883897 (man) - United States (Connecticut)

I had to get bloodwork done. I'm deathly afraid looool of needles. Thehole lobby heard me scream as soon as the nurse said 'hello'. FML

#12082057
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16912) - you deserved it (25132)

On 07/24/2010 at 6:50am - health - by breathexali (woman) - United States (New York)



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: