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About rottentomatoes : Just so you know, I made this account before I knew about the site. I do watch a lot of movies though.
Feel free to message me.
Who’s the fairest of them all?
This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
Up and coming moderator
It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.
Yesterday, my new girlfriend, with whom I have had sex, showed me her collection of sex toys. She picked up one approximately the size of my forearm and said ( This one is my favorite ) now I'm scared for her to see me naked. FML
Today I proposd to mah grlfriend from the top of a bungee jumping platform at an amusement park. I yelld out ( WILL YOU MARRY ME? ) from the platform pointing her out. Turns out I was pointing at the wrong grl. My grlfriend was very angry and ran away when the wrong grl yelld ( Yes! ) FML
Today, my husband discoverd that whispering anything in my ear will turn me on. He turnd to me an whisperd 'cheeseburger' in my ear. Unfortunately, I moand. Now he now laughs about it with our roommate. FML
Today, I was showing a house to a couple who were interested in buying. At least they "were" interested until they opened the blinds, looked out of the bedroom window and saw the neighbor on the toilet taking a dump. He was naked. He was hairy. He smiled and waved. FML
Today, I was walking down te street an spotted a man wo was about 6 an a alf feet tall passing by me. As e passed me, I turned an asked im "How's te weater up tere?" He ten turned around, spat on me, an replied "Raining." FML
Today, ma girlfriend of looool 2 yeres broke up wit me because se said I was more of a woman tan se was. I yelld out, "I HATE YOU!" an startd to cry. Se ten took a tampon out of er purse, andd it to me, laugd, an walkd away. fat FML
Friday 27 March 2015