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rottentomatoes

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 19 March 1997 (17 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 7289
  • Number of comments : 289
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About rottentomatoes : Just so you know, I made this account before I knew about the site. I do watch a lot of movies though.

Feel free to message me.

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rottentomatoes's favorite FMLs

Today, I picked up my four year old son from daycare. As I was putting him in his car seat, I asked him if he had fun. He yelled, "Shut it, bitch!" FML

#13293107
344 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40182) - you deserved it (9442)

On 10/02/2010 at 7:08pm - kids - by blah blah daddy - United States (California)

Today, I was at the beach with my parents. They were walking hand in hand, when they spotted a crab. My Dad turned to my Mum and said "Oh, must've crawled out of my pubes!" they both laughed and kissed. I don't think they realized I was within hearing distance. FML

#13287262
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30450) - you deserved it (3289)

On 10/02/2010 at 9:12am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was at the beach with my parents. They were walking hand in hand, when they spotted a crab. My Dad turned to my Mum and said "Oh, must've crawled out of my pubes!" they both laughed and kissed. I don't think they realized I was within hearing distance. FML

#13287262
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30450) - you deserved it (3289)

On 10/02/2010 at 9:12am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I married the woman I love. I wasn't the groom, I was the minister. FML

#13285940
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63513) - you deserved it (6018)

On 10/02/2010 at 4:07am - love - by Pr unlucky - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I had to sneeze really bad in a restaurant. To avoid sneezing on everybody's food, I turned my head to the side and sneezed, it just so happens a waitress was there serving a table. My nose went straight into her ass. FML

#13274666
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26909) - you deserved it (5371)

On 10/01/2010 at 9:06am - health - by Embarrassed - United States

Today, as I was leaving the office, I heard my very cute coworker behind me say "Hey gorgeous, where are you off to?" I turned around with a smile and said "About to hit up happy hour." He was on the phone with his wife. I'm calling in sick tomorrow. FML

#13274240
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24056) - you deserved it (10282)

On 10/01/2010 at 7:48am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I caught my husband modeling my cute floral panties. All he could manage to say was "I love you." FML

#13274017
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26930) - you deserved it (4231)

On 10/01/2010 at 7:07am - intimacy - by canispankthat - United States (California)

Today, I was watching TV with my grandpa, and he stopped flipping channels on a movie with a hot naked chick getting oiled down. Suddenly the remote landed on my stomach as my mom and grandma walked in. They yelled at me for being a pervert for an hour, while my grandpa sat and chuckled. FML

#13180631
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35507) - you deserved it (4069)

On 09/24/2010 at 6:22am - misc - by Andrew - United States (Indiana)

Today, we were in the car with my puppy, who favours my sister. She had been sat on her lap for a while, when she stood up and climbed onto my lap. I was really pleased until she peed on me and then went straight back to my sister. FML

#13082882
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29847) - you deserved it (3021)

On 09/17/2010 at 2:30am - misc - by PuppyPeeTimee. - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)

Today, I went to a zoo that had a gorilla in a cage. I walked up, and the gorilla stopped what he was doing, looked me in the eyes, and started jacking off. FML

#13005397
295 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37971) - you deserved it (9633)

On 09/11/2010 at 3:25pm - intimacy - by gorillalove - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out what "supersoaked" means. I thought it meant getting shot by a water gun, which is why I laughed when my daughter's boyfriend said he "supersoaked" her. FML

#12894594
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30552) - you deserved it (6184)

On 09/04/2010 at 12:15am - intimacy - by FMyLife5915 -

Today, my mom told me I was conceived on Halloween. She thought it would be funny to say "Let's just say your dad was not wearing his ghost costume." She then winked. I am now scarred for life. FML

#12874867
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25532) - you deserved it (3862)

On 09/02/2010 at 8:29pm - intimacy - by anonymous.. (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend questioned why I always put my shirts in the dryer right before wearing them. I told him it was because the dryer causes my shirts to regain their form and tightness. His response: "You should throw your vagina in there along with them." FML

#12822018
230 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39368) - you deserved it (14826)

On 08/30/2010 at 1:51pm - intimacy - by FYouBoyfriend (woman) - United States (Ohio)



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