About rottentomatoes : Just so you know, I made this account before I knew about the site. I do watch a lot of movies though.
Feel free to message me.
Who’s the fairest of them all?
This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
Up and coming moderator
It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
Beginner
You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.
Today, I picked up my four year old son from daycare. As I was putting him in his car seat, I asked him if he had fun. He yelled, "Shut it, bitch!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (33782) - you deserved it (7427)
On 10/02/2010 at 7:08pm - kids - by blah blah daddy - United States (California)
Today, I was at the beach with my parents. They were walking hand in hand, when they spotted a crab. My Dad turned to my Mum and said "Oh, must've crawled out of my pubes!" they both laughed and kissed. I don't think they realized I was within hearing distance. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25227) - you deserved it (2868)
On 10/02/2010 at 9:12am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I was at the beach with my parents. They were walking hand in hand, when they spotted a crab. My Dad turned to my Mum and said "Oh, must've crawled out of my pubes!" they both laughed and kissed. I don't think they realized I was within hearing distance. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25227) - you deserved it (2868)
On 10/02/2010 at 9:12am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I married the woman I love. I wasn't the groom, I was the minister. FML
I agree, your life sucks (53998) - you deserved it (4541)
On 10/02/2010 at 4:07am - love - by Pr unlucky - Australia (Western Australia)
Today, I had to sneeze really bad in a restaurant. To avoid sneezing on everybody's food, I turned my head to the side and sneezed, it just so happens a waitress was there serving a table. My nose went straight into her ass. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21226) - you deserved it (4091)
On 10/01/2010 at 9:06am - health - by Embarrassed - United States
Today, as I was leaving the office, I heard my very cute coworker behind me say "Hey gorgeous, where are you off to?" I turned around with a smile and said "About to hit up happy hour." He was on the phone with his wife. I'm calling in sick tomorrow. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18744) - you deserved it (7866)
On 10/01/2010 at 7:48am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I caught my husband modeling my cute floral panties. All he could manage to say was "I love you." FML
I agree, your life sucks (21250) - you deserved it (3222)
On 10/01/2010 at 7:07am - intimacy - by canispankthat - United States (California)
Today, I was watching tv with my grandpa, and he stops flipping channels on a movie with a hot naked chick getting oiled down. Suddenly the remote lands on my stomach as my mom and grandma walk in the door. They yelled at me for being a pervert for an hour, while my grandpa sat and chuckled. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29627) - you deserved it (3188)
On 09/24/2010 at 6:22am - misc - by Andrew - United States (Indiana)
Today, my job application for McDonald's was rejected. This is the second time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24375) - you deserved it (9283)
On 09/20/2010 at 3:10am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Hampshire)
Today, when I came home from work, I saw my wife in nothing but black boots and a Santa hat. My boss and coworker were with me. I now have guys wanting to have a threesome with us. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17979) - you deserved it (4233)
On 09/17/2010 at 11:48pm - intimacy - by embarrassedhubby - Canada (Ontario)
Today, we were in the car with my puppy, who favours my sister. She had been sat on her lap for a while, when she stood up and climbed onto my lap. I was really pleased until she peed on me and then went straight back to my sister. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24014) - you deserved it (2186)
On 09/17/2010 at 2:30am - misc - by PuppyPeeTimee. - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)
Today, I went to a zoo that had a gorilla in a cage. I walked up, and the gorilla stopped what he was doing, looked me in the eyes, and started jacking off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31148) - you deserved it (7587)
On 09/11/2010 at 3:25pm - intimacy - by gorillalove - United States (Texas)
Today, I found out what "supersoaked" means. I thought it meant getting shot by a water gun, which is why I laughed when my daughter's boyfriend said he "supersoaked" her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24736) - you deserved it (4773)
On 09/04/2010 at 12:15am - intimacy - by FMyLife5915 -
Today, my mom told me I was conceived on Halloween. She thought it would be funny to say "Let's just say your dad was not wearing his ghost costume." She then winked. I am now scarred for life. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20182) - you deserved it (2911)
On 09/02/2010 at 8:29pm - intimacy - by anonymous.. (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my boyfriend questioned why I always put my shirts in the dryer right before wearing them. I told him it was because the dryer causes my shirts to regain their form and tightness. His response: "You should throw your vagina in there along with them." FML
I agree, your life sucks (32872) - you deserved it (11290)
On 08/30/2010 at 1:51pm - intimacy - by FYouBoyfriend (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Friday 24 May 2013
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