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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 17 September 1993 (23 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 5265
  • Number of comments : 127
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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roeallen's page activity

Visits<b>Addiction333</b> - the 11/13/2016 at 5:22pm<b>8nothing</b> - the 10/11/2016 at 8:22pm<b>Junkiegamer</b> - the 10/06/2016 at 2:48pm<b>AdamPractical</b> - the 10/04/2016 at 6:12pm<b>Marielle123</b> - the 09/20/2016 at 6:36pm<b>Nonemustknow</b> - the 09/13/2016 at 12:29pm<b>jasonrellet</b> - the 09/11/2016 at 10:57am<b>Srxjo</b> - the 08/25/2016 at 8:22am<b>TexanZaros</b> - the 08/05/2016 at 11:01pm<b>The12thPaladin</b> - the 08/04/2016 at 6:53pm<b>xxghostxx98789</b> - the 07/31/2016 at 9:28am<b>annoyedperson</b> - the 07/26/2016 at 12:23am<b>xxdreamloverxx</b> - the 07/17/2016 at 1:54am<b>derplogic</b> - the 06/21/2016 at 4:51pm<b>ebroks</b> - the 06/12/2016 at 12:34am<b>fragmen52</b> - the 06/04/2016 at 10:38pm<b>Jiratias</b> - the 06/04/2016 at 7:57am<b>JulietMarie</b> - the 05/27/2016 at 8:27am

Fucked!<b>Junkiegamer</b> - the 10/06/2016 at 8:48pm<b>Jiratias</b> - the 06/04/2016 at 1:57pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/16/2016 at 7:22am<b>wanted_2_want</b> - the 03/19/2016 at 1:17pm<b>SeveralLake</b> - the 03/04/2016 at 12:19am<b>Braxman6</b> - the 12/27/2015 at 8:39am<b>PotatoesAndCake</b> - the 11/09/2015 at 12:02am<b>sinisterviper</b> - the 10/31/2015 at 5:27pm<b>vet1</b> - the 08/16/2015 at 8:11am<b>saoaot585</b> - the 05/12/2015 at 7:12pm<b>BreadKat</b> - the 05/04/2015 at 10:42pm

roeallen's FML badges


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roeallen's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to the bathroom and my pee split into 4 different streams, none of which actually hit the toilet. FML

by Anonymous / 01/11/2011 at 12:32am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I walked in on my roommate flat-ironing his pubic hair. FML

by curlyisnogood / 01/09/2011 at 7:19pm / Health

Today, I had to explain to my friend why it's inappropriate to conduct a phone conversation while simultaneously eating a bagel, listening to music, and taking a shit. FML

by Anonymous / 01/09/2011 at 1:47pm / United Kingdom (Surrey) / Miscellaneous

Today, while in a public restroom I could hear a guy having his way with his hand. He was quoting verses from the bible. I was in a cubicle and he was at the urinal. I was too frightened to leave. This went on for a very long time. FML

by biblewanker / 12/17/2010 at 11:05am / Australia / Intimacy

Today, my best friend lost her virginity in the backseat of a car. I was sitting in the front. FML

by Olive14 / 12/16/2010 at 3:03pm / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my toddler stood up in a shopping cart and fell, giving himself a black eye. Later, while at a restaurant, he tried to stand up in his high-chair. I quickly blurted out, "Sit down! Do you want another one of those?" while pointing at his eye. The waiter wouldn’t stop glaring at me. FML

by Anonymous / 12/15/2010 at 12:42am / United States (Nevada) / Kids

Today, I was in a public restroom taking a dump. It's difficult for me to do it in public, so to make it easier I kept telling myself "Nobody's here, you're all alone." I then heard "No, you're not." I didn't realize I was saying it out loud. And that I wasn't alone. FML

by shit / 12/14/2010 at 4:26am / United States (Colorado) / Health

Today, my six year old told me I have a big nose. When I told her that she hurt my feelings, she laughed and said "Don't be silly mummy, ugly people don't have feelings." FML

by uglywoman / 12/14/2010 at 3:21am / Australia (Queensland) / Kids

Today, whilst driving to the store, an idiot driver found it to be okay to drive ridiculously fast in below freezing temperatures on the ice and snow. As he passed my car, I angrily gave him the finger. And then I realized I was wearing mittens. FML

by Anonymous / 11/25/2010 at 12:24am / United States (Washington) / Transportation

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I arrived home to find my cat dead and note saying, "Sorry, I tripped over him." Not only is my cat dead, but I was robbed by a polite thief. FML

by Anonymous / 11/14/2010 at 2:51pm / South Africa / Animals

Today, I realized I've been playing too much Call of Duty. I started screaming, "Spawn, bitch! Spawn!" at my microwavable pizza while it was in the microwave. FML

by Anonymous / 11/13/2010 at 12:55pm / United States (Florida) / Geek

Today, while eating dinner with my family, I found out my boyfriend recorded me screaming while having sex with him on my phone, and set it as my ring tone on high volume. FML

by Anonymous / 11/13/2010 at 12:21am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, I was at the doctors office after throwing up for the past week. My diagnosis? Apparently I'm the first pregnant man. After several minutes of me freaking out and him explaining how it was possible, he told me he was joking and that I'm fine, but my reaction was the best thus far. FML

by youreajoker / 11/10/2010 at 5:28am / Australia (New South Wales) / Health

Today, I found my son's iPod touch and was looking at a light-saber app. He walked into the living room to see me fighting the cat and making sound effects to myself. FML

by yay! / 11/08/2010 at 1:07am / United States (Arizona) / Animals

Today, while setting up for a party I was having, I put black lights into our bathroom for the cool bright, neon color you get when you pee. When I turn them on to see where I need to continue cleaning, I see many, small, yellow hand prints on the walls. I have a nine year old brother. FML

by Anonymous / 10/31/2010 at 5:05am / United States (California) / Kids