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roeallen

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roeallen

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 17 September 1993 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 4080
  • Number of comments : 127
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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roeallen's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to my son's high school play. The moment I arrived at the auditorium, I shouted out his name to let him know I made it. Thinking I was a student, a teacher yelled, "SHUT UP AND SIT DOWN!" Scared out of my mind, I quickly obeyed, to mass giggling from the kids. FML

#15098216
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13159) - you deserved it (31197)

On 02/24/2011 at 1:39am - kids - by Annie (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I went to my son's high school play. The moment I arrived at the auditorium, I shouted out his name to let him know I made it. Thinking I was a student, a teacher yelled, "SHUT UP AND SIT DOWN!" Scared out of my mind, I quickly obeyed, to mass giggling from the kids. FML

#15098216
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13159) - you deserved it (31197)

On 02/24/2011 at 1:39am - kids - by Annie (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I woke up to a bloody nose. Instead of rushing to the bathroom, I creatively dripped the blood over a knife for photography class because the assignment was to show emotion. So many of the students and faculty were disturbed that I'm now forced to talk to the school psychologist. FML

#15000344
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23594) - you deserved it (36160)

On 02/16/2011 at 7:56am - misc - by rhartnett11 -

Today, I got home from working late and decided to write a cute email to my girlfriend since I haven't seen her in two weeks. I was about to finish it off when my door swung open, and in a panic, I opened another tab to hide my email. It was porn. FML

#14743872
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11249) - you deserved it (38316)

On 01/28/2011 at 2:59pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, I accidentally said, "Bye, love you," to a co-worker as I clocked out. Before I made it home, I had six missed calls and a long text from my co-worker professing her love to me. FML

#14743806
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26085) - you deserved it (12565)

On 01/28/2011 at 2:55pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I got pulled over by a cop. Since my window wasn't working, I opened the door, causing him to run towards me with a drawn gun. He then had a go at me with his night stick. After realizing my window was broken, he laughed and let me off with a warning. FML

#14742129
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29913) - you deserved it (3681)

On 01/28/2011 at 10:43am - misc - by NotoriousSRJ (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, at work, a homeless woman called me trash, threw her coffee at me, and told me to get a job. I do have a job. It's homeless outreach. FML

#14740890
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27646) - you deserved it (2858)

On 01/28/2011 at 6:44am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, as I was walking home, I passed some little girls who threw a bunch of snowballs at me. I dodged every single one, ran away laughing, and gave them the finger. I then ran into a snowman. FML

#14727355
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11777) - you deserved it (41352)

On 01/27/2011 at 12:19am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I went out to my car only to find my battery had died the night before. With the wind chill, it was -20°F outside. With the hood open, and jumper cables in one hand, I tried to flag down a passing motorist for help. A man in a truck slowed down, sarcastically waved at me, and kept driving. FML

#14663711
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24652) - you deserved it (2563)

On 01/21/2011 at 4:50pm - misc - by dwhitehouse (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I went out to my car only to find my battery had died the night before. With the wind chill, it was -20°F outside. With the hood open, and jumper cables in one hand, I tried to flag down a passing motorist for help. A man in a truck slowed down, sarcastically waved at me, and kept driving. FML

#14663711
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24652) - you deserved it (2563)

On 01/21/2011 at 4:50pm - misc - by dwhitehouse (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, it was my daughter's birthday. She had been wanting a cat for a long time, so I went to the animal shelter and got an orange one. As soon as she saw it, she ran upstairs screaming, "GINGER! GINGER!" She refuses to come downstairs until I get rid of "the soulless creature." FML

#14644616
363 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33826) - you deserved it (7619)

On 01/19/2011 at 10:44pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job. As I reached my climax, she thought it would be funny to turn my 'weapon' against me. Boom, headshot. FML

#14610613
241 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39989) - you deserved it (26526) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/17/2011 at 4:53am - intimacy - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins

Today, I was getting it on with my boyfriend. I started to come, screaming, "Ah... ah... ah... AHH!" To which he added, "Staying alive! Staying alive!" FML

#14608705
243 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30586) - you deserved it (19909) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/17/2011 at 1:24am - intimacy - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins

Today, I came home, turned on my laptop, and turned the TV on mute so I could check my email. My mom came home an hour later, took a look at me on the couch, then the TV, and asked what on earth I was watching. I looked up from my laptop and realized it was porn. FML

#14580215
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15603) - you deserved it (27590)

On 01/14/2011 at 6:07pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Devon)

Today, I acted like I always do when I'm alone in my seemingly sound-proof apartment. I sang loudly, talked back to the TV, used my vibrator. Later, in the silence of the night, I heard my neighbor next door YAWNING. FML

#14575088
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17378) - you deserved it (30695)

On 01/14/2011 at 4:26am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)



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