About rhaemese : Well hi there. Oh. You weren't taking to me?.... Oh well.... Yeah.
rhaemese's FML badges
An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
100 kick ass comments
100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!
50 quality responses
Clicking reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried is even better.
rhaemese's favorite FMLs
Today, my friends and I were playing truth or dare game. It was late and we were drunk, so they dared me to run naked into my neighbor's yard while yelling, "Help! The pixies took my penis!" I ran screaming right into their big family reunion. FML
by nekkidness / 11/21/2012 at 4:06pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous
Today, I brought a fluorescent tube to the store to make sure I got the correct replacement. Trying to charm the sexy cashier, I waved the tube in the air, saying "I need a new light sabre, there is no force left in this one and the Empire is attacking." Turns out she'd never heard of Star Wars. FML
by hclagopus / 11/14/2012 at 6:39am / Norway / Geek
Today, my husband informed me that he recently slept with a secretary of his to become better at sex for me. I don't know what's worse, the fact that he cheated on me or that he seriously believes that he has a reasonable excuse. FML
by Enragedbitch / 10/20/2012 at 4:49am / United States (California) / Love
by Anonymous / 10/20/2012 at 4:42am / United States (Arizona) / Kids
by bacon lovers worst nightmare / 09/26/2012 at 2:57am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was called into my son's school because he had got into a fist-fight with another pupil and I had to take him home. He clammed up about the reason behind the fight, until I finally managed to coax it out of him: the other kid is in "Hufflepuff" and he's in "Ravenclaw." FML
by PissOffPottermore / 09/13/2012 at 10:31am / United States (Illinois) / Kids
by Gurl / 09/07/2012 at 6:32pm / Ireland (Dublin) / Miscellaneous
by Rosie / 06/13/2012 at 12:07pm / Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen) / Intimacy
Today, I was browsing the web on my boyfriend's laptop, when I idly clicked a bookmark. It turned out to be his private blog, where he most recently spoke in very creepy detail about his efforts to make me love him, remarking that, "Soon, I'll plant my seed in her breeding hips." FML
by Anonymous / 05/22/2012 at 4:49pm / Canada (Alberta) / Love
by Anonymous / 02/19/2012 at 9:42pm / United States / Work
Today, my boyfriend's father suggested that, ideally, I should aim to have my baby in early July, or wait until he gets back from Europe in October. I'm due September 4th, and he will be "incredibly disappointed" if he misses the birth of his first grandchild due to my "selfishness". FML
by preggo / 02/19/2012 at 3:55am / Australia (New South Wales) / Health
by Anonymous / 11/21/2011 at 5:39pm / United States (Maine) / Intimacy
by no one / 05/21/2011 at 5:07am / United States (Alaska) / Intimacy
Today, I was hanging out with the guy I like. All of a sudden, he pulls out a small vial of his blood to give to me, proving his undying love. Curious, I asked where he had gotten the blood. His answer? A razor blade. In his nose. FML
by radicaloser / 03/25/2011 at 4:50am / United States (Oregon) / Health
Today, my friends had ditched me for a party I hadn't been invited to so I was sitting home alone. The only other thing in my house was the mosquito I nicknamed Fred. I liked to watch Fred fly around and try to suck my blood. 20 minutes later, I found Fred's dead body. I was actually sad. FML
by dumbo / 07/30/2009 at 10:43am / United States (Virginia) / Animals
- Today, I sprayed pepper spray on a guy who appeared to be following me. He was really cute, and was… Today, because I’m on my period, I asked my boyfriend to turn around so I could change my clothes.… Today, I checked in at a hotel, got the keys and went up to my room. However, there seemed to be a…