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redpie's favorite FMLs
by 352 / 04/18/2012 at 4:18pm / United States / Health
by Anonymous / 04/18/2012 at 3:18pm / United Kingdom (Oxfordshire) / Intimacy
Today, while vacuuming my new apartment, I farted a few times. After my last fart, I turned to find my super-hot neighbor standing at the door. Panicking, I asked in a "I-didn't-just-fart-my-ass" tone, "Oh hi! Been standing there for long?" She replied, "Since your initial rip." FML
by Fartfail / 04/18/2012 at 9:43am / Hong Kong / Miscellaneous
Today, I heard that my ex-girlfriend was spreading scurrilous rumours about me all over our university. It appears that I distribute white supremacist propaganda, and that my sexual fantasies involve animals and vegetation. FML
by Anonymous / 04/18/2012 at 6:59am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Intimacy
by James C / 04/18/2012 at 4:48am / United Kingdom (Stoke-on-Trent) / Love
by Disgruntled / 04/18/2012 at 3:49am / United States (New York) / Work
by Anonymous / 04/18/2012 at 3:18am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by ChampionshipVinyl / 04/18/2012 at 2:57am / Canada (Ontario) / Kids
Today, I was having a hard time waking up. When I sat down for breakfast, my chair rocked backwards. I reflexively grabbed out at something to hold on to. Unfortunately, I grabbed the cereal box that was on the table. FML
by Fillifilo / 04/18/2012 at 12:38am / France / Miscellaneous
by yuuupyup / 04/17/2012 at 8:55pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous
by lindsaykay / 04/17/2012 at 8:07pm / United States / Intimacy
Today, I was sleeping in after working a graveyard shift. I awoke to my girlfriend sneaking her stuff out of the house. She planned on leaving her key on my pillow and taking off without any notice whatsoever. FML
by Anonymous / 04/17/2012 at 4:53pm / United States (Minnesota) / Love
by Anonymous / 04/17/2012 at 3:29pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Intimacy
by phoneless / 04/17/2012 at 3:23pm / Jordan / Miscellaneous
Today, while I was in the midst of the most mind-blowing shower sex ever, the fire alarm went off. My girlfriend had left the stove top on and the entire kitchen had caught on fire. So instead of finishing, I frantically ran around naked trying to douse the flames. FML
by blocked_by_fire / 04/17/2012 at 2:13pm / United States (Washington) / Intimacy
- 1Today, my parents let me babysit my baby sister for the first time. About an hour after they left,… 2Today, I saw an elderly lady fall over in the street. Nobody bothered to do anything, so I went… 3Today, I was fired for being late to work, even though the only reason I was late was because I had…