About redpie : This world is not my home, I'm just passing through
redpie's FML badges
The rules are the rules
Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by our moderating team.
Who’s the fairest of them all?
This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
It’s in the can
Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!
redpie's favorite FMLs
by 352 / 04/18/2012 at 4:18pm / United States / Health
by Anonymous / 04/18/2012 at 3:18pm / United Kingdom (Oxfordshire) / Intimacy
Today, while vacuuming my new apartment, I farted a few times. After my last fart, I turned to find my super-hot neighbor standing at the door. Panicking, I asked in a "I-didn't-just-fart-my-ass" tone, "Oh hi! Been standing there for long?" She replied, "Since your initial rip." FML
by Fartfail / 04/18/2012 at 9:43am / Hong Kong / Miscellaneous
Today, I heard that my ex-girlfriend was spreading scurrilous rumours about me all over our university. It appears that I distribute white supremacist propaganda, and that my sexual fantasies involve animals and vegetation. FML
by Anonymous / 04/18/2012 at 6:59am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Intimacy
by James C / 04/18/2012 at 4:48am / United Kingdom (Stoke-on-Trent) / Love
by Disgruntled / 04/18/2012 at 3:49am / United States (New York) / Work
by Anonymous / 04/18/2012 at 3:18am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by ChampionshipVinyl / 04/18/2012 at 2:57am / Canada (Ontario) / Kids
Today, I was having a hard time waking up. When I sat down for breakfast, my chair rocked backwards. I reflexively grabbed out at something to hold on to. Unfortunately, I grabbed the cereal box that was on the table. FML
by Fillifilo / 04/18/2012 at 12:38am / France / Miscellaneous
by yuuupyup / 04/17/2012 at 8:55pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous
by lindsaykay / 04/17/2012 at 8:07pm / United States / Intimacy
Today, I was sleeping in after working a graveyard shift. I awoke to my girlfriend sneaking her stuff out of the house. She planned on leaving her key on my pillow and taking off without any notice whatsoever. FML
by Anonymous / 04/17/2012 at 4:53pm / United States (Minnesota) / Love
by Anonymous / 04/17/2012 at 3:29pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Intimacy
by phoneless / 04/17/2012 at 3:23pm / Jordan / Miscellaneous
Today, while I was in the midst of the most mind-blowing shower sex ever, the fire alarm went off. My girlfriend had left the stove top on and the entire kitchen had caught on fire. So instead of finishing, I frantically ran around naked trying to douse the flames. FML
by blocked_by_fire / 04/17/2012 at 2:13pm / United States (Washington) / Intimacy
- 1Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I… 2Today, after working for Uber for a few weeks I realized that my driver rating was dropping. After… 3Today, I received a phone call, angry at me for not calling my dad on Father's Day. When I told her…
- Today, my mother told me she didn't want my girlfriend spending the night anymore. I asked why, she… Today, I got bored and decided to visit a porn site. I typed in the address and hit enter. A split… Today, I was nude modeling for the first time for a life art class. The only criteria for the class…