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redpie

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redpie
  • Town/Country : Plymouth, United Kingdom
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1878
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About redpie : This world is not my home, I'm just passing through

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redpie's favorite FMLs

Today, my husband drew a penis on every one of my cigarettes. It's a new pack. FML

#19508691
295 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7004) - you deserved it (59360)

On 04/21/2012 at 11:15pm - misc - by Jenn P (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I woke up to a really cold feeling down below. I opened my eyes and saw my girlfriend grinning like a maniac and holding my crotch-sausage between two scissor blades. I screamed in terror like a little bitch, and she says I'm never gonna live this down. FML

#19506149
426 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38701) - you deserved it (3514)

On 04/21/2012 at 1:38pm - intimacy - by Hakimstah (man) - Lebanon

Today, my boyfriend said he was going to give me breakfast in bed before he left. He walked over, threw some granola bars on the bed next to me and left. FML

#19505395
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21363) - you deserved it (3435)

On 04/21/2012 at 9:04am - love - by still hungry - United States (Illinois)

Today, my mum bought a phone. Since teaching her how to text, I have received 27 messages, repeatedly saying the word "penis". FML

#19505040
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20421) - you deserved it (4030)

On 04/21/2012 at 5:26am - misc - by jaderie - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I went to the bathroom to pee. I looked at the toilet paper after I wiped and saw a spider on it. It was still wiggling its legs. FML

#19504984
233 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24663) - you deserved it (3059)

On 04/21/2012 at 4:36am - animals - by yikes - United States

Today, I called my mobile phone provider to end my contract. A sales rep spent over half an hour trying to convince me to reconsider, and I kept refusing. I ended up breaking down and accepting a "more economical" contract, which I didn't notice costs almost twice as much as the last one. FML

#19503587
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6661) - you deserved it (30886)

On 04/20/2012 at 10:49pm - money - by ... (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was on the bus during rush hour. A fly started buzzing around my head, and I swatted at it, at the exact moment the woman beside me decided to get out of her seat and put her face straight in the path of my hand. FML

#19502060
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19030) - you deserved it (2390)

On 04/20/2012 at 5:48pm - misc - by apparentlyawomanbeater (man) - Switzerland (Ticino)

Today, I was pumping gas, when my daughter called me. After I hung up, I put my phone on the car roof while I grabbed my bag. I completely forgot about it and only realized when it shot off the roof as I braked at a traffic light. FML

#19501133
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7211) - you deserved it (19709)

On 04/20/2012 at 1:58pm - misc - by Katelyn - United States (California)

Today, while looking through my wedding photos, I realised my wife had done a duck face in every single one. FML

#19496136
299 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32541) - you deserved it (4334)

On 04/19/2012 at 3:46pm - love - by caaarl (man) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, my boyfriend gave me acne cream for my birthday. FML

#19495820
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23431) - you deserved it (3902)

On 04/19/2012 at 2:00pm - love - by amber (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, while watching TV with my wife, I realized that we were still watching "My Little Pony" even though the kids had been asleep for half an hour. FML

#19495403
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19640) - you deserved it (4926)

On 04/19/2012 at 12:08pm - misc - by ajnmegs - United States (Colorado)

Today, I had to explain to my neighbor that black people aren't all lactose intolerant. His eyes still bulge out every time I eat cheese. FML

Today, someone burgled my hotel room. As always, I had locked my passport, extra cash, and other valuables in the closet safe, so I thought the losses would be superficial. What a discovery that the safe hadn't been fastened to the closet shelf, so the thief just picked it up and took it home. FML

#19494291
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22663) - you deserved it (2149)

On 04/19/2012 at 2:24am - money - by Anonymous (man) -

Today, I finally asked some friends to read the beginning of a novel that I'd been slaving away at. One of them said it was the literary equivalent of aquarium gravel. Another asked if I'd been sniffing boot polish while writing it. FML

#19493868
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15836) - you deserved it (3859)

On 04/19/2012 at 12:46am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I was issued with a £60 fine for being parked in a supermarket car-park for more than 3 hours. I work there. FML



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