redpie

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redpie

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3632
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About redpie : This world is not my home, I'm just passing through

redpie's page activity

Visits<b>lmc94</b> - the 08/16/2012 at 2:05pm

redpie's FML badges

The rules are the rules

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Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

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redpie's favorite FMLs

Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend for the first time. When I took my underwear off, she looked at my penis, snorted, and covered her mouth. She claimed that her "allergies" were flaring and we have to wait until they clear up. FML

by rolyat / 05/01/2012 at 12:41pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, I was at the supermarket when I saw an elderly lady slip on a wet patch of floor. I ran over to help, and I almost fell too before steadying myself. Then some pimply cockmunch of a teen decided to kick my legs out from under me and walk away while laughing his balls off. FML

by karmafails / 05/01/2012 at 12:17pm / United Kingdom (Surrey) / Health

Today, I was talking to my co-workers about how I've sadly been an orphan since an early age. One of them exclaimed, "Hey, just like Batman!" FML

by Nice / 05/01/2012 at 9:58am / Canada (Ontario) / Work

Today, I was talking to my co-workers about how I've sadly been an orphan since an early age. One of them exclaimed, "Hey, just like Batman!" FML

by Nice / 05/01/2012 at 9:58am / Canada (Ontario) / Work

Today, my boyfriend yet again unsuccessfully tried to hold in uncontrollable giggling every time I moaned or sighed during sex. He's 24. I'm terrified of his reaction should I ever reach an orgasm with him. FML

by epicsquishii / 05/01/2012 at 7:02am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I faked my age to win a colouring competition. I just turned 19. FML

by Anonymous / 05/01/2012 at 4:24am / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got some spam stating that I'd have no love life in the coming 10 years if I didn't reply to it. So, no different to the last 10 years then. FML

by monkeywrench / 05/01/2012 at 1:14am / United States / Love

Today, in a rush to squeeze out of a particularly tight parking spot, I made a hurried 12-point turn. Just to make sure I had enough room behind, I hopped out of my car. It was still in reverse. I managed to wreck my own car without even sitting in it. FML

by tandc / 05/01/2012 at 1:07am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out my boyfriend gave me a surprise birthday present: herpes. FML

by lowlife123 / 04/30/2012 at 11:01pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Intimacy

Today, my parents decided on my punishment for failing an English test. No deodorant for a week. They think they're so hilarious, they told all their friends and now it's all over Facebook. FML

by sockmonkey / 04/30/2012 at 10:21pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was visiting my 8-year-old nephew. He told me he learned about fire safety, so I asked him what he'd do if there were a fire right now. He pushed me out of the way and I fell, then he ran over me and out the front door, leaving me on the floor in pain. FML

by Anonymous / 04/30/2012 at 8:22pm / United States (Texas) / Kids

Today, I was walking home, when I saw a homeless man trying to tear the wallet out of another guy's hand. I can't stand bums, so I smacked him across the jaw. That's when the other one kneed me in the balls and made off with my wallet as well. FML

by Anonymous / 04/30/2012 at 5:46pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, I shot a paintball gun at a bees' nest. The bees flew through my neighbors' windows and, for lack of a better word, slaughtered them. An ambulance was called, and I feel like a total dick. FML

by Anonymous / 04/30/2012 at 5:34pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I finally built up the courage to confess my love to the girl of my dreams. She turned me down. When I asked her about all the recent receptive behavior toward me, she replied, "I thought it'd be funny." FML

by HighasaCloud / 04/30/2012 at 12:01pm / United States (Indiana) / Love

Today, after putting an ad on Craigslist to sell a coat, I finally got a call. The guy on the phone seemed interested, and was especially curious to know if I could "model" it for him, in "stockings and suspenders." FML

by NotAModel / 04/30/2012 at 11:50am / United States / Intimacy