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redpie's favorite FMLs
by ilovemymomma / 05/26/2012 at 3:15am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
by MALICEG / 05/26/2012 at 3:00am / United States (Oklahoma) / Miscellaneous
Today, I started my third day of a student exchange program in Belgium. My room-mate is a guy, our beds are in the same room, and he's always in and out of the bathroom. Consequently, I don't have nearly enough privacy to choke the cock, if you know what I mean. FML
by MySummerinEurope / 05/25/2012 at 6:59pm / Belgium (Brussels Hoofdstedelijk Gewest) / Intimacy
by KieRendan / 05/25/2012 at 3:59pm / United States (New Mexico) / Miscellaneous
Today, on the brink of a stiflingly hot summer, I've come to a terrible realisation. It seems the apartment I've just moved into has been specially insulated to trap enough heat inside for the occupants to survive the planet's next Ice Age. FML
by Broon / 05/25/2012 at 3:55pm / United Kingdom (Leeds) / Transportation
by Anonymous / 05/25/2012 at 2:21pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 05/25/2012 at 1:56pm / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous
by Lonely_Army / 05/25/2012 at 12:03pm / Qatar / Miscellaneous
Today, after 5 months of unemployment and hardcore job searching, I got hired for my dream job. I called my mum to tell her all about it, to which she responded, "Great honey! Now all you need to do is lose all that weight". She allowed me all of 4 minutes of feeling good about myself. FML
by daddyowl / 05/25/2012 at 12:32am / Canada (Quebec) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 05/24/2012 at 9:37pm / United States (Kansas) / Kids
Today, a drunk man wearing a sandwich-board proclaiming that, "The end is nigh" threw some so-called holy water at me while bellowing, "It's what Jesus would've wanted" and that I should "repent for being an evil shite." FML
by Notasinner / 05/24/2012 at 6:39pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Miscellaneous
Today, the mailman delivered my new phone to my neighbour's house. This was okay, because he left a note in my mailbox informing me so. Now my crazy neighbour won't give me the package because, "*I* signed for it!" FML
by Byebye / 05/24/2012 at 3:30pm / Netherlands (Groningen) / Miscellaneous
by that guy / 05/24/2012 at 12:41pm / United States / Geek
by Anonymous / 05/09/2012 at 6:09pm / Egypt (Al Qahirah) / Kids
by Kwalker3 / 05/06/2012 at 2:39am / United States (California) / Intimacy
- 1Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's… 2Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 3Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say…
- Today, I went to a grad school fair. Tuition costs more than I make in a year. I'm thirty. I think… Today, I was trying to avoid one of our dogs while driving down the drive. Instead I crashed into a… Today, I went over to my crush's house for the first time. Everything was going great until his dog…