raisonbread

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raisonbread

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 1 January 1990 (26 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 757
  • Number of comments : 48
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About raisonbread : ...

raisonbread's page activity

Visits<b></b> - the 01/11/2011 at 11:24am<b>McMan</b> - the 11/07/2010 at 6:20pm<b>RedPillSucks</b> - the 04/25/2010 at 10:50pm

raisonbread's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

raisonbread's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out my older brother put tanning lotion in the lotion I use to masturbate with. Now I have orange palms and an orange penis which won't go away for weeks. FML

by caughtorangehanded / 10/01/2010 at 6:12pm / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy

Today, I fell asleep in my math class. Turns out I sleep walk. I woke up at the front of the room with chalk in my hand, scribbles on the board behind me, and the whole class laughing at me. FML

by sleepwalker / 09/14/2010 at 2:32pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous

Today, my husband won't talk to me because he got mad when I asked him what he thought about 'that lame performance last night'. He doesn't believe that I really was talking about football. FML

by GonnaBeLonley2night / 09/13/2010 at 9:24am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I asked my boyfriend what he would do if I were to get pregnant. Expecting him to give me a cute and supportive answer, he replied, "We'd be finding you a nice flight of stairs to accidentally fall down." FML

by vikinggirl / 09/13/2010 at 5:14am / Australia (Western Australia) / Love

Today, I went to a zoo that had a gorilla in a cage. I walked up, and the gorilla stopped what he was doing, looked me in the eyes, and started jacking off. FML

by gorillalove / 09/11/2010 at 3:25pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I had diarrhea in a Walmart bathroom for 15 minutes. Apparently, so did the guy in the stall next to me. He attempted to make small talk to pass the time. FML

by wantontsu / 09/11/2010 at 2:59pm / Health

Today, I went to pay my grandma a visit. She called the cops because she didn't recognize me and thought I was a robber. FML

by Michelle / 09/01/2010 at 4:27am / Netherlands (Noord-Brabant) / Miscellaneous

Today, I walked in on my mom giving my dad head. Acting like I hadn't seen anything, I asked if I could use a towel sitting on the dresser. My mom said, "No, we're going to need that one." FML

by bkay26 / 08/29/2010 at 11:37am / United States (Georgia) / Intimacy

Today, I was riding the subway when a beautiful topless girl walked into my car and sat directly in front of me. Then, the train stopped abruptly and I banged my head. The girl was gone and I realized it had all been a dream. Then I realized I was supposed to get off 17 stops ago. FML

by Peekaman / 08/15/2010 at 6:31pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, I haven't had any real sleep in 4 days because I am an insomniac. My father is also an insomniac but he takes Ambien to get his rest. Me? I'm stuck staring at the ceiling for hours because he won't let me take any kind of medication, because he doesn't want me "getting addicted." FML

by sleeplessinID / 08/15/2010 at 3:23am / United States (Idaho) / Health

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because he wanted to make the most of his 1 month X-Box Live coupon. FML

by Single / 08/07/2010 at 7:01am / France (Bretagne) / Love

Today, my four year old told my mother-in-law that our house is haunted because she hears a ghost at night saying "oh" and daddy's name as if they're hurt. FML

by Anonymous / 08/06/2010 at 10:35pm / United States (Arkansas) / Intimacy

Today, I was at a water park with my family. While on the 100ft slide, my father decided it would be a great idea to pants me. I slipped and went down the 100ft slide naked for everyone to see. FML

by shitpile / 08/06/2010 at 2:09pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I tried to act nonchalant in front of my neighbors, and swing my lanyard around with my keys on it. It flew off my finger and into their yard. FML

by Jesse from / 08/03/2010 at 6:21am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my sister was on television. It would have been great if she weren't being handcuffed for burglary. FML

by ghostyyy / 07/24/2010 at 7:21pm / Love