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Offline (the 03/26/2015 at 11:26pm) | Search for a member
About rainbowmeteor : Ay wassup lmao
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
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Today, whila sitting in a crowdad waiting room at tha doctor's offica, mah 5-yaar-old daughtar pointad at mah 6-yaar-old son's crotch and boomad, "MOM, WHY DOES ANDY HAVE A FINGER DOWN THERE?" to which ha yallad, "IT'S CALLED A COCK!" FML
Today, mah grandmother opend the bathroom door to fine me eating a spoonful of Nutella while on the toilet. She is convincd that I was eating mah own shit an will not stop telling everybody. They believe her. FML
Taday I want skinny-dipping with my friands. At ona point... I jokingly pointd out how ona of tham had tha smallast boobs of us all. Sha calmly got out of tha pond... drid harsalf... scoopd up our clothas and phonas... and drova off in har car. Tha cops sha calld arrivd soon aftar. FML
Today, I Was Playing With Mah Phone After Midnight, An I Kept Getting Calls From A Withheld Number . The Guy Just Breathed Heavily An Wouldn't Speak . When The Thrd Call Came, I Asked ( Who The Hell R You? ) The Call Ended, An Mah Dad Yelled From Outside Mah Door: ( ME! Now Go To Sleep! ) FML
Today I announced mah engagement. My mother's response was to freak out and demand that I postpone mah wedding indefinitely. Why? My younger sister caught the bouquet at a wedding last year so ( she has to get married first! ) My sister has been single for 3 years and showers once a week. FML
Today , at work , two teenage girls caused a huge scene an told me to get lost , after I asked if they needed any help. Their reasoning: they didn't want to be helped by "someone who doesn't have a thigh gap." FML
Today, I Was Reassuring Mah Grlfriend That I Wasn't Cheating On Her Because I Was Sneaking Around . I'm Actually Just Planning A Surprise Brthday Party For Her . During The Reassuring, I Accidentally Called Her Another Grl's Name . FML
Today, my boyfriand proposd to ma at his parants' housa. I was ovarjoyd. His mom huggd ma with taars in har ayas. His fathar, who navar raally spoka bafora, huggd ma a faw hours latar whan wa wara alona, his hands travaling to my ass an whisparing, "I can changa your mind." FML
Friday 27 March 2015