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rabbitpeegirl's favorite FMLs
Today, I broke my arm. When I got home from the doctors with my cast, I fell asleep on the couch from the medicine. When I woke up, there were swastikas, "I love the KKK", and multiple penises written all over my cast. My dad thought it would be funny. FML
by Mervin22 / 01/28/2011 at 11:10pm / Australia (Victoria) / Health
Today, I got my wisdom teeth cut out. While my girlfriend was driving me home, I, still being high on the laughing gas, accidentally admitted to cheating on her. She was kind enough to wait until the numbness wore off before she punched me in the face. FML
by peeoncarl1111 / 01/28/2011 at 8:06pm / United States / Love
Today, I went to the park and sat down on a bench to enjoy my coffee. I heard a few young girls behind me talking about how their first experience of sex was. I turned around to see how old these girls really were. One of them was my daughter. FML
by JordanVilleneuve / 01/27/2011 at 10:35pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 01/27/2011 at 12:19am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Kids
Today, my parents, not trusting me and my boyfriend, told us to call them in the middle of our movie so they could hear it, and prove we weren't up to no good. Well, I called. Just as a raging sex scene started. FML
by totallyscrewedomg / 01/25/2011 at 12:11pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
by Randall / 01/25/2011 at 2:28am / United States (California) / Health
by nmaidkieavg / 01/25/2011 at 1:13am / Miscellaneous
Today, I was walking to bed in fancy panties and a tight black tank top. My husband exclaimed, "This is the best part about being a grown up!" He was talking about the ice cream he was eating in bed. FML
by Anonymous / 01/24/2011 at 2:43pm / United States (Nebraska) / Intimacy
Today, while walking across campus, I stopped to look at my reflection in a window. I straightened my bra straps and then turned to the side to dig a wedgie out. It wasn't until I heard peals of laughter that I realized I couldn't see IN the classroom, but they could see OUT. FML
by RBHSWedgieGirl / 01/22/2011 at 8:35pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by neverhavingkids / 01/20/2011 at 9:24pm / United States (California) / Geek
Today, my extremely superstitious girlfriend called me and said she couldn't make it to the date I had planned tonight. Her reason? "I sense something horrible is going to happen." I was planning to propose. FML
by fianceeless / 01/20/2011 at 8:15pm / United States (California) / Love
Today, I dozed off during a lecture. When I woke up, I didn't recognize any of the people surrounding me, and I saw one guy pointing and laughing at me. It turns out, my professor instructed everyone to let me sleep because he wanted to see how long it would be before I woke up. I was asleep three hours. FML
by Anonymous / 01/20/2011 at 3:05pm / United States (District of Columbia) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was shopping at Walmart, when a large lady and her friend blocked the aisle I was trying to go down. After saying, "Excuse me," twice and being ignored, I pushed my way through. After getting past, I looked back and noticed she was glaring at me while signing to her friend. FML
by Anonymous / 01/20/2011 at 2:34pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I wrote a mental note: don't tell a couple of nuns that you used black magic to fix their computer. Then don't tell the story to your boss just as the nuns walk back in again. Then don't say "speak of the devil" to them. FML
by Anonymous / 01/20/2011 at 5:55am / Australia (Western Australia) / Work
- 1Today, someone stole my purse and phone while I was giving CPR to someone who had a heart attack on… 2Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 3Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's…