[fr]
[it]
[es2]
[tr]
[de]
[ru]
[se]

Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick :
Categories :
Man or woman?
Email notification?

quachie

Search for a member

quachie
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 6830
  • Number of comments : 31
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

quachie's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

quachie's favorite FMLs

Today, I woke up with my face sharpied. I live alone. FML

#7501218 (214)

I agree, your life sucks (29717) - you deserved it (2357)

On 01/22/2010 at 3:51pm - misc - by Funnymann - United States

Today, I was arguing with my dad. I called him a geriatric fool. He replied with, "Well at least I know who my biological father is." I have no idea if he's joking. FML

#5107055 (144)

I agree, your life sucks (40887) - you deserved it (5328)

On 09/07/2009 at 3:19pm - kids - by Waheyyy (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I was taking a shower. I heard my boyfriend come into the bathroom, brush his teeth and take off his clothes. He joined me in the shower and instead of doing something loving or sexy, he let out a huge fart into his hand and threw it into my face. FML

#5102101 (182)

I agree, your life sucks (42854) - you deserved it (6008)

On 09/07/2009 at 9:32am - love - by GasAttack (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went to go give my boss a high five for a job well done. I missed his hand and accidentally slapped his ass on the way down. FML

#3201910 (104)

I agree, your life sucks (26651) - you deserved it (8546)

On 06/25/2009 at 10:13am - work - by KN (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was in a public restroom when the girl in the stall next to me started asking me how I was doing. Thinking it was weird but not wanting to be rude, I answered her questions. Halfway though our conversation she said: "Hold on, the girl in the stall next to me thinks I'm talking to her." FML

#3193922 (121)

I agree, your life sucks (35387) - you deserved it (9739)

On 06/25/2009 at 12:34am - misc - by embarrassed4life (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I decided to use my mentor's advice. I told her I had been having some trouble controlling my anger, she told me to throw rocks at trees. I threw a rock at a tree, very hard. It bounced back hit me above the eye. I'm still pissed as shit. FML

#2238808 (206)

I agree, your life sucks (41861) - you deserved it (13237)

On 05/24/2009 at 12:03pm - misc - by untitledentity (woman) - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, my fiance and I went to the bar to celebrate my new job. When we got home, we were pretty horny from the alcohol and headed upstairs. While we were taking our clothes off, he began crying out of nowhere and exclaimed "Maybe I'm just gay!" They say true feelings come out when you're drunk. FML

#2225759 (126)

I agree, your life sucks (46528) - you deserved it (2547)

On 05/23/2009 at 10:38pm - love - by jaded401 (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my dad told me about how my mother had a bad dream last night and began to scream "Don't take me, take my children!" FML

#2116644 (138)

I agree, your life sucks (53130) - you deserved it (2396)

On 05/20/2009 at 4:49pm - misc - by lm (man) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I was telling my mother about my earrings hurting my ears. I had a cut on my ear close to the piercing and she thought that I had mistaken the cut for the opening, and said (as we walked past a car full of men), "Well of course it hurts when you put it in the wrong hole!". FML

#2045344 (155)

I agree, your life sucks (57818) - you deserved it (5877)

On 05/18/2009 at 8:40am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Belfast)

Today, I had a very intense sexual dream that made me come and left me panting when I woke up. It was the best orgasm I'd ever had. The trouble was, it wasn't about a hot girl, or anything sexy. It was about bacon. FML

#2009053 (704)

I agree, your life sucks (120442) - you deserved it (28812)

On 05/17/2009 at 8:33am - intimacy - by wtfdreams (man) - United States (California)

Today, I realized what my mom has been calling me for 20 years. She always calls me her "little fehler." With her being from Germany, I always thought it was a cute little nickname. Apparently, she's been calling me her "little mistake." FML

#1837844 (178)

I agree, your life sucks (75107) - you deserved it (3208)

On 05/11/2009 at 5:09am - misc - by mistake (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, my fiance proposed to me at the movies. The movie stopped in the middle, and my fiance stands up, takes out a microphone and announces to the entire theatre that he loves me. Right when he went on one knee, someone shouts, "Turn the movie back on!", and throws a cup of coke at my head. FML

#1832318 (333)

I agree, your life sucks (60440) - you deserved it (9540)

On 05/10/2009 at 11:28pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was having cybersex via webcam with my boyfriend. Trying to be as sexy as I could, I started sucking on my finger. Judging by the look on my boyfriend's face, he was getting really into it. As I started getting into it too, I shoved my finger too far down and puked all over my laptop. FML

#1387325 (234)

I agree, your life sucks (18086) - you deserved it (90075)

On 04/27/2009 at 9:51am - intimacy - by BARF (woman) - United States (California)

Today, an ant bit my penis. That was the first 'mouth' to ever touch it. FML

#1382761 (182)

I agree, your life sucks (75038) - you deserved it (15505)

On 04/27/2009 at 2:14am - misc - by hjgjh - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend was going to propose. Since he was really nervous, he decided to have a couple of drinks to loosen up. He ended up throwing up and passing out before he could get down on one knee. FML

#1358275 (119)

I agree, your life sucks (43580) - you deserved it (3155)

On 04/26/2009 at 3:12pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States