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purpleninja217

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purpleninja217

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  • Number of visits : 368
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purpleninja217's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to a restaurant and only brought $14 with me to eat. I ordered and ate my meal, then went to the counter to pay for it. I threw $2 into the tip jar then got my bill. My bill was $13.86. I had to reach into the tip jar and take my $2 back so I could pay for my meal. FML

#3046159
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12198) - you deserved it (50164)

On 06/19/2009 at 11:17pm - money - by pinkplasticjesus (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I tried to imitate Mary Poppins by jumping off a shed with an umbrella. I spent the next 3 hours in the emergency room. My leg is broken. FML

#2418263
450 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20885) - you deserved it (219711)

On 05/29/2009 at 11:04pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my husband was leaving on a long business trip to Germany. As he's leaving, my daughter starts crying. 'Dont leave me with her !' she says. 'Take me with you !' FML

#2104254
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47790) - you deserved it (8197)

On 05/20/2009 at 1:18am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, a friend and I went to Gamestop to pick up a game he wanted. I ended up buying a 17+ game, and I was prepared to show my license, but he stopped me an said, "I know you're 18". He then said, "Man, I've pretty much watched you grow up in this store." A game salesman watched me grow up. FML

Today, I was kneeling down at work to do some cleaning. My co-worker said, "Oh don't your knees hurt, kneeling like that for so long?" Without thinking how it sounded, I said, "Oh no, it's not a problem. I'm on my knees all the time." He's yet to stop hitting on me. FML

#1770571
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20818) - you deserved it (45458)

On 05/09/2009 at 2:43am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, after practicing a song for my girlfriend on guitar all day, I called her over to my house to show it to her. After a long speech about how "this is for you," I played for about 3 seconds before I broke a string, which slapped her in her face. FML

#1694711
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63457) - you deserved it (5729)

On 05/06/2009 at 4:12pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, I found out that the girl I've been dating online for over three months is actually a very bored 14-year-old boy. FML

#1617373
513 comments

I agree, your life sucks (96893) - you deserved it (266759)

On 05/04/2009 at 2:12am - love - by Iman (man) - United States (California)

Today, I met my boyfriend's family for the first time. I was playing with his little sister by grabbing her arms and spinning her around. On one turn, she started screaming in pain. It turns out I dislocated both her shoulders. FML

#956665
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30598) - you deserved it (63324)

On 04/13/2009 at 7:27pm - kids - by grem (woman) - United States

Today, I met my boyfriend's family for the first time. I was playing with his little sister by grabbing her arms and spinning her around. On one turn, she started screaming in pain. It turns out I dislocated both her shoulders. FML

#956665
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30598) - you deserved it (63324)

On 04/13/2009 at 7:27pm - kids - by grem (woman) - United States

Today, my daughter ran up to a librarian working in the kids section and screamed "MOMMY!" and hugged her. She looked at her and said "I'm not your mommy." My daughters reply: "I know. But you're better than mommy" FML

#849178
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (72697) - you deserved it (7238)

On 04/07/2009 at 3:32am - work - by Windstar (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I went to see my gynecologist. She was writing my symptoms up in my chart on her computer. After a little while, I noticed that she had a confused look on her face and was reading something instead. When I took a peek at the computer screen, I saw that she was Googling my symptoms. FML

#792519
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (89505) - you deserved it (3894)

On 04/03/2009 at 11:10pm - health - by blehhh (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I heard a little girl saying how much she didnt want braces to her mom because they hurt and make people look ugly. I looked at her and said, "Aww, there not that bad. See, I have them!" I then smiled to show her. She turned to her mom and said, "See!" then started to cry. FML

#673025
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52257) - you deserved it (9532)

On 03/29/2009 at 12:12am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out that driving five miles an hour under the posted speed limit is "suspicious" and cause for a field sobriety test, breathalyzer, having your car searched and being handcuffed on the side of the road. FML

#619035
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (73934) - you deserved it (11089)

On 03/26/2009 at 8:15am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)



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