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purpleninja217

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purpleninja217

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  • Number of visits : 426
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I agree, their lives suck

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purpleninja217's favorite FMLs

Today, just like every morning this month, I woke up, put on my clothes, looked out my window, and was pointed at by a man in a ninja outfit on my neighbor's roof. The police still can't find him. FML

#20155776
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27025) - you deserved it (2217)

On 11/08/2012 at 11:54pm - misc - by Targeted - United States (Washington)

Today, when I told my family I was a vegetarian, I expected them to make fun of me because that's just my family. But what I wasn't expecting was my dad to use raw meat as a puppet and make it say, "Eat me! Eat me!" then throw it at my face. FML

#19823545
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22821) - you deserved it (7028)

On 06/21/2012 at 10:52am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I approached a cute girl at a club, when she started barking at me like a rabid dog. Thinking she might be mentally unhinged, I left, only to see the same girl laughing her ass off with her friends minutes later. When I went back over, her friends started barking at me too. FML

#19739013
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24308) - you deserved it (5863)

On 06/05/2012 at 3:34pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Idaho)

Today, I walked in on my mother stroking my cat and murmuring, "Don't worry, kitty. One day, you and I... we will rule." FML

#19734981
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27068) - you deserved it (2839)

On 06/04/2012 at 8:54pm - animals - by Scared (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I told my mom I was going out to hang out with some friends. She looked me dead in the eye and said, "Don't lie to me." FML

#19687214
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21691) - you deserved it (2285)

On 05/27/2012 at 4:00am - misc - by cloudberry - United States (New York)

Today, my turtle, who had a little portion of the garden all to herself, died. My 5-year-old nephew wanted to "be like Mario" by jumping on her. FML

#19576176
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36204) - you deserved it (2337) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 05/05/2012 at 6:06am - kids - by Grindyloo -

Today, while I was cuddling with my girlfriend, she looked at me and leaned in. Thinking she was going to kiss me, I leaned too. Just as we were about to kiss, she screamed "COW KISSES" and somehow managed to lick my eyeball. FML

#19297004
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26680) - you deserved it (4433)

On 03/17/2012 at 10:32pm - love - by Brian - United States (Washington)

Today, my dad sat me down for the sex talk. Almost before he could open his mouth, my mother popped her head into the room and said, "Be realistic, Dan. Who would want to sleep with that?" FML

#19279551
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34710) - you deserved it (2508)

On 03/14/2012 at 10:01pm - misc - by CallaC (man) - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, an intoxicated homeless man tried to chase me out of a McDonald's because he thought I was President Obama. I'm a 26-year-old white woman. FML

#18892690
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29694) - you deserved it (2475)

On 01/23/2012 at 7:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I watched The Omen with my father. Halfway through driving me back home, he stopped the car and made me get out right there in a rough part of town. Fifteen minutes later, he drove up beside me, laughed hysterically at how terrified I was, and told me to get in. FML

#18864677
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25409) - you deserved it (2329)

On 01/20/2012 at 7:55pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I got really bored so I posted on Facebook "Someone should kidnap me for the day." My mom commented, "The only things willing to kidnap you are aliens, and that would be because they'd mistaken you for a cow." 16 people liked her comment. FML

#18860865
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35877) - you deserved it (10160)

On 01/20/2012 at 10:15am - misc - by LonerCow (woman) - United States

Today, at school, I was scheduled to give a presentation to my class. As I arrived, my teacher said to me, "You're bleeding from the 120th pimple on your left cheek." FML

#18854508
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40266) - you deserved it (3934) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/19/2012 at 4:59pm - misc - by elite -

Today, a man crashed into my car. He then got out of his car, dug a toothbrush and toothpaste out of his bag, and tried to brush away the damage. FML

#18851761
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27153) - you deserved it (1936)

On 01/19/2012 at 7:17am - misc - by toothpaste (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I turned on the news to see a live report about an increase in crime in my town. One minute in, my drunk daughter appears behind the news reporter, butt naked, dancing. FML

#18845928
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38787) - you deserved it (6180)

On 01/18/2012 at 5:30pm - misc - by MakesMeLol (man) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, while looking in the mirror at my full-blown grease-spewing acne-riddled face, my father came up behind me and said, "Don't worry son, I had acne like that when I was your age". I replied, "No you didn't", and his immediate response while laughing was, "No, I didn't." FML

#18843385
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27916) - you deserved it (2850)

On 01/18/2012 at 10:18am - health - by harshdoobie (man) - Canada



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