purpleamandapand

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purpleamandapand

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 29 April 1993 (23 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1900
  • Number of comments : 54
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 10 posted

About purpleamandapand : A small town girl in Ontario, Canada. Young, in high school, spending my time reading other people's misfortune :)

purpleamandapand's page activity

Visits<b>draftskink</b> - the 05/14/2016 at 1:04am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/09/2016 at 9:08am<b>sgtpeppers42</b> - the 04/03/2016 at 5:32am<b>JohnTheMermaid</b> - the 01/23/2016 at 11:38am<b>babygirlllllll</b> - the 12/05/2015 at 8:10pm<b>iT_Cereal</b> - the 12/03/2015 at 3:20am<b>Alexxandre</b> - the 11/10/2015 at 3:55am<b>beeferjay</b> - the 10/01/2015 at 1:00am<b>jsb1426</b> - the 08/27/2015 at 8:00am<b>kittykitten</b> - the 08/05/2015 at 7:19pm<b>bl865ood</b> - the 07/22/2015 at 10:13pm<b>caaguilar</b> - the 07/14/2015 at 7:23pm<b>GrimReefer66</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 6:30pm<b>Zarcissa</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 2:29am<b>Woody02284</b> - the 07/01/2015 at 11:05am<b>EnJey0</b> - the 06/17/2015 at 1:35am<b>ZorroRooster</b> - the 06/03/2015 at 10:12pm<b>radiocaf</b> - the 05/16/2015 at 1:43am

Fucked!<b>caaguilar</b> - the 07/15/2015 at 1:23am<b>Jodencrans</b> - the 10/30/2014 at 8:38pm

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purpleamandapand's favorite FMLs

Today, I woke up to a mosquito feeding on my morning wood; probably the only thing that will ever suck my penis. FML

by no one / 05/21/2011 at 5:07am / United States (Alaska) / Intimacy

Today, my roommate came home and instantly began raging, cursing, and threatening to kill me. While I was cowering in my bedroom, the police had to settle the situation. All I'd done was rearrange some furniture. FML

by Anonymous / 03/02/2011 at 6:20am / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to the mall with my daughter. She asked me if she could go see Santa, so I said yes. She made me sit on his lap with her, and that's when I felt something on my bum. Let's just say Santa had a present for me. FML

by hotmommy / 12/19/2010 at 7:23pm / Intimacy

Today, I found dried cum in my hair - after being at work for two hours. FML

by Anonymous / 10/24/2010 at 3:31am / United States (Washington) / Intimacy

Today, my friends took me to a strip club for my 25th birthday. I went onstage with 5 dollars in my mouth to tip the dancer. She then took off my belt and pants and spanked me 25 times with the buckle end of the belt. I paid a stripper 5 dollars to whoop my ass. FML

by Anonymous / 10/06/2010 at 7:18pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, I found out that my mother has been seeing my maths teacher. I'm still failing his class. FML

by Anonymous / 09/21/2010 at 5:28pm / United Kingdom (London) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got a brand new couch. My husband told me to keep our puppy off of it so we could keep it nice. She jumped on it, and as I picked her up to put her back on the floor, her claws dragged across it and ripped 2 of the cushions. FML

by miss Suzanne / 09/14/2010 at 5:46pm / United States (New York) / Animals

Today, I got a brand new couch. My husband told me to keep our puppy off of it so we could keep it nice. She jumped on it, and as I picked her up to put her back on the floor, her claws dragged across it and ripped 2 of the cushions. FML

by miss Suzanne / 09/14/2010 at 5:46pm / United States (New York) / Animals

Today, my boyfriend called and told me he had a surprise for me and to meet up with him to find out. The big surprise was a consultation with a plastic surgeon for rhinoplasty surgery. I never disliked my nose. FML

by damnit / 09/11/2010 at 4:46pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, my cousin came to visit from America. While out shopping, she said loudly that she was having trouble finding clothes to fit around her huge fanny, causing a lot of people to stare in our direction. I had to explain to her that "fanny" in the UK means "vagina." FML

by Anonymous / 09/09/2010 at 10:00am / United Kingdom (London) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex for the first time when my 4 year old sister walked in. She thought we were making a dog pile, so just as soon as my boyfriend was about to finish, she jumped on his back. FML

by Ashley / 09/07/2010 at 12:06pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I heard two of my students having a conversation. One asked what state Arizona was in, and the other replied Canada. I teach sixth grade social studies and they weren't joking. FML

by teacher / 08/31/2010 at 10:50am / United States (Virginia) / Kids

Today, I turned the shower on the hottest setting so it would warm up quickly. I started to sing and dance around the bathroom. I got too carried away and pelvic thrusted the water, which I hadn't turned back down. FML

by Fire_Crotch / 08/14/2010 at 2:27am / Canada (British Columbia) / Health

Today, I finished painting my living room. I had to leave the house in a rush. When I got home, I found smears of paint all around and the carpet crusted with paint that had dried. My cat had rubbed up against the walls and tracked it around. FML

by Spelit / 08/13/2010 at 3:45pm / United States (Iowa) / Animals

Today, I woke up, completely naked, in bed with a guy I met the night before. We were both drunk the night before and I had agreed to go home with him. The reason I woke up was that someone was knocking on his bedroom door. Turns out he lives with his mom and she made us pancakes. FML

by Nikki / 03/17/2009 at 11:15pm / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy