pumpkin1_2pie

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pumpkin1_2pie

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
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  • Number of visits : 4086
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

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pumpkin1_2pie's page activity

Visits<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 10:41pm<b>dkhere</b> - the 02/01/2010 at 1:04am

pumpkin1_2pie's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

pumpkin1_2pie's favorite FMLs

Today, I was eating dinner with my family. My parents didn't want me to hear what they were talking about so they decided they would spell out the words so I wouldn't understand. I didn't. FML

by Anonymous / 08/05/2009 at 1:15am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, my brother's best friend spent the night and was changing with the door partially open. He's super hot and as I was watching him change, he sneezed. Forgetting he didn't know I was watching him, I said bless you. He called me a freak, slammed the door in my face and told my parents. FML

by jeeperspeepers / 08/02/2009 at 6:03pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, a moth was flying around my house. Annoyed, I picked up a shoe to crush it with. The moth landed on a light fixture on the ceiling, so I made my move. Dead, the moth slipped gracefully through air and onto my head. So did the light fixture. FML

by Anonymous / 08/02/2009 at 5:20pm / Canada / Miscellaneous

Today, I was walking down the strip with a friend when we saw a homeless man with no arm. I felt bad, so I gave him some cash and I looked into his poor little eyes when he put out his arm for a hug. Without thinking, I hugged him. Right as I was thinking, "wtf am I doing," he kissed my boob. FML

by Anonymous / 07/25/2009 at 1:19am / United States (Kansas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to the beach. I was in the ocean and I looked over my shoulder and saw a big black spot. Knowing that there were big crabs on the beach, I screamed. Everyone in the water heard including the lifeguards. It turns out it was just my shadow. FML

by Thalassophobic / 07/21/2009 at 1:32am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was meeting the mayor of a major city as part of an internship program. Seated directly in front of him during his presentation on the budget crisis, he unleashed an enormous, foul fart in front of the entire audience. And then blamed it on me, everyone believed him. FML

by justdoingmyjob / 07/18/2009 at 4:10pm / United States (Florida) / Work

Today, I went to a neon themed party. Standing by the UV light, I looked down and realised my pad was glowing through my tights. FML

by paddy / 07/14/2009 at 8:23am / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous

Today, I bought a CD off a man who always plays Spanish guitar in the subway. When I got to work and tried playing the CD, it was blank. I paid $15 for a blank CD. FML

by Raaaaaaarrrrrr / 07/12/2009 at 10:30pm / United States (New York) / Transportation

Today, I came home to find a BMW partially blocking my driveway. I was already having a bad day, and was upset that some stuck up fool blocked my driveway, so I keyed the driver's side. 5 minutes later my parents show up. The BMW was a graduation gift for me. FML

by Stoopid / 07/07/2009 at 1:25pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was in my new boyfriend's apartment for the first time. As I was flipping through his photo albums, I came across one full of disturbingly candid pictures of me. I found some as early as my trip to the state fair, three years ago. I met my boyfriend two months ago. FML

by Anonymous / 07/01/2009 at 3:18pm / United States (Arizona) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had a bath in the bathroom we are currently renovating. There's a big hole in the middle of the floor. When I got out of the bath, I swung one leg across the gap to get a towel from the rack. I drew back my leg and looked down to see my brother's hot friend staring up at me in horror. FML

by ilikeirishducks / 06/19/2009 at 9:51am / Italy / Miscellaneous

Today, I got hypnotized at my school's variety show. Apparently, when asked to do something I enjoy doing, I began to violently hump the floor. FML

by OhGeez / 06/08/2009 at 3:41pm / Canada (Nova Scotia) / Intimacy

Today, my friend was complaining about how fat she was. To make her feel better I said, "Psh, you're not fat! In fact we're about the same weight!" She looked at me for a second, then burst into tears sobbing, "I'm fat! I'm fat!" FML

by fatty / 06/06/2009 at 10:14pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, while running on the treadmill at the gym, the girl next to me slipped and went flying back against the wall. Indecisive whether to get off and help her or to just keep going, I lost my focus and footing and flew back next to her. FML

by NoPainNoGain / 06/05/2009 at 1:03am / United States (California) / Health

Today, my dad asked me to move a potted plant from one side of the yard to the other. It looked like a very heavy pot, so I heaved it up with all my might. Turns out it was one of those heavy-looking ones that are actually light plastic. I fell over backwards and dumped dirt into my mouth. FML

by ether10 / 06/04/2009 at 2:27am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous