This member hasn't filled in the description.
Today, a really hot guy smacked my ass. I farted. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22547) - you totally deserved it (4816)
On 03/01/2010 at 5:04pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I was telling my entire cocktail party about the time I accidentally flashed my volleyball team at a pool party. While trying to demonstrate how it happened, I accidentally pulled my dress down and flashed everyone again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3500) - you totally deserved it (22705)
On 12/23/2009 at 3:48pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)
Today at work I brewed myself a fresh cup of coffee. I set the hot coffee onto my desk. My phone rang so I answered my coffee, spilling it all over my face and body. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5876) - you totally deserved it (12461)
On 12/23/2009 at 1:42pm - work - by chris (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I slipped as I was about to take a shower, knocking myself out cold. I woke up to someone banging on my door. It was a cop checking to see if I was okay. When I asked how he knew to come, he said he was notified by "a male neighbor who called anonymously." I guess I have a peeping Tom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18064) - you totally deserved it (900)
On 12/18/2009 at 3:46pm - health - by ThatAintLogical (woman) - United States (Louisiana)
Today, my wife entered in an ugliest sweater competition at her work. She wore a plain white sweater with a picture of my face printed on it. She came home with first prize. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20483) - you totally deserved it (1888)
On 12/18/2009 at 2:52pm - misc - by mclovin09 (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was at the cinema. There was a really tall woman in front of me and whenever I leaned to the right or left she would lean to the same side I do. Later, she started laughing. They guy next to her was telling her where I moved. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17161) - you totally deserved it (1525)
On 12/18/2009 at 3:42am - misc - by Mogg (man) - Australia (South Australia)
Today, my boyfriend and I went to the beach. I though he was being really sweet by putting sunscreen on my back as I layed on my stomach. I got home later, and felt that my back was sore. Then I saw the giant penis on my back that been burnt in. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21334) - you totally deserved it (3058)
On 12/17/2009 at 2:57am - work - by Brittanyy_leigh (woman) - Australia (Queensland)
Today, I was on AIM talking to a really cute guy, whom I've had a crush on for forever, when he asked me to video chat. I got so excited and immediately pressed accept, without thinking. Not until he started screaming and cursing did I realize that I was still using my laptop on the toilet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4972) - you totally deserved it (35316)
On 12/14/2009 at 6:26pm - love - by toiletgirl (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I finally finished vacuuming my downstairs. Instead of finding the wall outlet and unplugging the vacuum, I triumphantly tugged the cord from across the room to release the plug from the wall. It flew at me at top speed and hit me in the face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (2795) - you totally deserved it (19219)
On 12/12/2009 at 3:36pm - misc - by ouch (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I fainted and woke up in a hospital. My mom drove me to the emergency room. The doctor said I had a panic attack. What did I have a panic attack from? Bidding on ebay. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5315) - you totally deserved it (14886)
On 12/11/2009 at 8:31pm - misc - by graospe (woman) - United States (California)
Today, it was the last day of finals. After sleeping less than three hours in the last two days, I got in the car to go to school. For a second, I thought my steering wheel, the gas pedal, and brake pedal were all missing. That's when I realized I was sitting in the back seat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16358) - you totally deserved it (7700)
On 12/10/2009 at 8:08am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)
Today, I was attending a drug-free lecture at school. The speaker said, "There are many ways to quit smoking. You can try patches, gum, or even quitting cold turkey. Any questions?" I raised my hand, and she called on me. I asked, "How does cold turkey help?" And then I realized. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3419) - you totally deserved it (18047)
On 12/09/2009 at 7:53pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I received my camera in the mail. I had sent it back to the company because it wouldn't turn on. As I was reading the note they put in, it said, "Battery was put in backwards. No other problems found." FML
I agree, your life sucks (2254) - you totally deserved it (22535)
On 12/09/2009 at 1:12pm - misc - by her0x3her0ine617 (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I was on a stationary bike at the gym. I got into a conversation with a very attractive female gym-friend. I felt something cool "down below". I looked down and saw one of my testicles had sneaked out of a hole in my shorts, I quickly looked up only to see her staring at the same thing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6043) - you totally deserved it (1519)
On 12/08/2009 at 2:09pm - intimacy - by fatguyinalittlecoat (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I fell asleep with my hands down my pants. I woke up to an excruciating pain coming from my genitalea. It turns out that I was having nightmares and I squeezed my balls because I was so terrified. I popped 3 blood vessels in my scrotum and now walk with a limp. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7774) - you totally deserved it (3726)
On 12/06/2009 at 3:42pm - intimacy - by Ballhugger (man) - Canada (Alberta)
