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pumpkin1_2pie

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pumpkin1_2pie
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
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  • Number of visits : 2694
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

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pumpkin1_2pie's favorite FMLs

Today, I got mugged by a midget. FML

#15203950
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34879) - you deserved it (11884)

On 03/05/2011 at 1:55am - misc - by insomnitude (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, my grandma walked into my room and asked if the thing lying on my nightstand was a computer. I said ''Grandma, that's a clock.'' After staring at me, confused for a few seconds, she then farted, and left my room. FML

#13949092
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36643) - you deserved it (5023)

On 11/23/2010 at 12:35pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I shadowed an ultrasound technician for my future career. She did an ultrasound on me to show me how to do the job. I found out I was pregnant. FML

#13863853
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40282) - you deserved it (9197)

On 11/16/2010 at 10:34am - misc - by nicolette5785452 - United States (Ohio)

Today, I tried to jump between the train doors to make it in on time. And missed. FML

#13391537
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9734) - you deserved it (21641)

On 10/10/2010 at 11:16am - misc - by Icey_dan1 - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was changing in the back seat of my new truck when it started to roll backwards. In my haste to reach the brake, I hit my head and fell face first into the steering wheel. I then realized that it wasn't rolling. The car next to me was just pulling out. FML

#13223022
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9791) - you deserved it (24566)

On 09/27/2010 at 3:22pm - misc - by milhouse86 (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was watching a video about spiders. When I felt a tickle on my foot, I kicked hard in panic. It was one of our newborn kittens walking. I almost killed it. FML

#12750103
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12211) - you deserved it (46418)

On 08/26/2010 at 1:33am - animals - by Aaron (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I turned the shower on the hottest setting so it would warm up quickly. I started to sing and dance around the bathroom. I got too carried away and pelvic thrusted the water, which I hadn't turned back down. FML

#12513717
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6636) - you deserved it (41841)

On 08/14/2010 at 2:27am - health - by Fire_Crotch (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I found out that my best friend kisses me while I sleep. We're both guys. FML

#10975690
311 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60934) - you deserved it (7586)

On 06/04/2010 at 10:03pm - love - by weirdesout - United States (Texas)

Today, a really hot guy smacked my ass. I farted. FML

#8751188
399 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38692) - you deserved it (8815)

On 03/01/2010 at 5:04pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I lied to my crush telling him I can play the piano. To 'prove' it, I recorded a video on my phone of a girl playing a beautiful piece. After I sent it, I realized my mouse cursor was in the center of the page the entire time. FML

#8505761
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (2548) - you deserved it (40353)

On 02/21/2010 at 2:41am - misc - by Piano999 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I took my girlfriend out bowling. The place was not only packed, but on my very first attempt, I stumbled and landed flat on my "sugarbuns" about 6 feet down the lane. Everyone pointed and laughed hysterically, including my girlfriend, who was on the floor almost in tears, enjoying my pain. FML

#8479975
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16360) - you deserved it (8137)

On 02/20/2010 at 1:58pm - misc - by moobysrocks - United States

Today, I found out that I owe the IRS money due to my previous job not taking enough taxes out. I am broke, unemployed, and was counting on a big refund so I could pay for my divorce. FML

#7810009
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25110) - you deserved it (4064)

On 02/02/2010 at 8:00am - money - by taxed (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I woke up with a cordless drill on my bed. The one I lent my neighbour last week. FML

#7606861
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24889) - you deserved it (2062)

On 01/27/2010 at 2:41am - misc - by Brummsta (man) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I was telling my entire cocktail party about the time I accidentally flashed my volleyball team at a pool party. While trying to demonstrate how it happened, I accidentally pulled my dress down and flashed everyone again. FML

#6904777
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5193) - you deserved it (30513)

On 12/23/2009 at 3:48pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, at work, I brewed myself a fresh cup of coffee. I set the hot coffee onto my desk. My phone rang so I answered my coffee, spilling it all over my face and body. FML

#6902851
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9334) - you deserved it (21466)

On 12/23/2009 at 1:42pm - work - by chris (woman) - United States (California)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

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  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

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