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Today, my husband and I were in bed, and just as I was about to finish he screamed, "Oh shit! It's 4:15, my strawberries are gonna whither!!!!" and then jumped off me and went to check on his farm on FarmVille. An imaginary farm, on Facebook. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46755) - you totally deserved it (3528)
On 08/20/2009 at 10:51am - love - by demk (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. After about 10 minutes, when we change positions, he shouts: "Power Rangers - Transform!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (38170) - you totally deserved it (6774)
On 08/18/2009 at 7:45pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, my girlfriend named my penis "little baby carrot." FML
I agree, your life sucks (41857) - you totally deserved it (6171)
On 08/16/2009 at 1:14pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Kansas)
Today, I found out my husband had bought my 1-year-old daughter a shirt that says "Birth Control Fail" in pink glittery letters. He even took her out in it while I was at work. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36511) - you totally deserved it (3801)
On 08/14/2009 at 12:57pm - kids - by ohgod (woman) - United States (Iowa)
Today, I fractured my knuckle at the gym. My girlfriend offered to drive me to Urgent Care. As I threw my gym bag in the car, my keys flew out of the bag's pocket and hit her in the face. I spent the whole afternoon getting dirty looks from nurses because of my broken hand and her black eye. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39058) - you totally deserved it (2583)
On 08/14/2009 at 10:26am - love - by Anon (man) - United States (Maryland)
Today, I was on the phone bragging to a friend about losing my virginity last night. When I went downstairs, my 6 year old sister was digging through my purse. She explained that she had overheard my conversation and wanted to help me find my virginity. My mom was in the kitchen with us. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14533) - you totally deserved it (37108)
On 08/13/2009 at 4:57pm - kids - by bubbalicious (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was looking in the refrigerator for something to drink. I found a jug of lemonade with a piece of paper on it saying "Mom's Lemonade, Don't Drink!" I was really thirsty, so I ignored it and drank the whole jug. My mom is about to have a colonoscopy and had filled it with laxatives. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5047) - you totally deserved it (71369)
On 08/13/2009 at 3:47pm - health - by Nick (man) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, I found out my boyfriend stacks things on me while I sleep. Apparently his record is 4 pillows, a textbook, and the cat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39220) - you totally deserved it (6438)
On 08/06/2009 at 7:11am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, my boyfriend and I were cuddling on his couch when suddenly I tried to get up. Before I could stand, he grabs onto me and says, "I'm a koala and you're my eucalyptus tree!" He then continued to latch onto me for a good five minutes pretending to eat my hair. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42274) - you totally deserved it (10219)
On 07/26/2009 at 1:57am - love - by treegirl (woman) - United States
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