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promarkchris's FML badges
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promarkchris's favorite FMLs
by Monika / 05/05/2011 at 5:04pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Kids
Today, my boss told me I'm not working hard enough because I take French classes two mornings a week and therefore I won't be getting a promotion. If I want the promotion I have to stop taking my French classes. These are the same French classes I was told I originally needed for the promotion. FML
by French / 05/04/2011 at 1:29pm / Switzerland (Vaud) / Work
by woah / 05/04/2011 at 7:51am / United States (West Virginia) / Intimacy
Today, I went on a first date with a guy. He parked his truck and reached in his door side pocket and grabbed a little black zippered bag. Seeing this, I burst out laughing saying, "Wow, what's that, your change purse?" He replied, "No, I'm diabetic, this is my blood sugar monitor." FML
by Cuppycake / 05/04/2011 at 1:33am / Canada / Health
Today, my boyfriend and I went on a picnic. After we finished eating he laid down, closed his eyes, and put his head in my lap. At the exact second that I bent down to kiss him, he jumped up to get the Frisbee. We both have bloody noses. FML
by wtf1234 / 05/02/2011 at 9:41pm / United States / Health
by missmirror / 05/02/2011 at 7:00pm / United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire) / Miscellaneous
by MathTeacher / 05/02/2011 at 10:30am / United States (Missouri) / Work
Today, I sent a kinky text message to my boyfriend. Within minutes I got a reply of 'whoever this is, fuck off and give my girlfriend's phone back.' Apparently I'm so bad at writing sexy messages that my boyfriend thought it was a prank from someone who'd stolen my phone. FML
by ohtheshame / 05/02/2011 at 4:34am / Intimacy
by dirtyclothess / 05/01/2011 at 8:01pm / Miscellaneous
Today, I was stuck crouching over the toilet after a night of drinking. My fiancé walked in, gathered my hair, and held it out of the way. When another wave of nausea hit me and I leaned in, he shoved my face into the bowl and ran out, laughing and yelling, "That'll teach ya!" FML
by Laci / 04/30/2011 at 1:50pm / United States (North Carolina) / Health
by moxy / 01/24/2011 at 10:00am / Transportation
Today, my husband's old fraternity brother came to visit. He fell out of his car, puked, then passed out drunk in our driveway. We got him to the bathroom where he fell asleep. He woke up at 4am, wandered around the house naked, pooped in my trash can, then passed out again. FML
by Kristin / 01/02/2011 at 11:14pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by sadface / 01/04/2010 at 1:43am / Australia (South Australia) / Health
Today, I was at the cinema. There was a really tall woman in front of me and whenever I leaned to the right or left she would lean to the same side I do. Later, she started laughing. They guy next to her was telling her where I moved. FML
by Mogg / 12/18/2009 at 3:42am / Australia (South Australia) / Miscellaneous
- Today, I was familiarized with cartoon pain when I stepped on a soap in my shower and broke my arm.… Today, my crush told me the reason she won't date me is my stupid haircut, so I got it cut. Turns… Today, I told my mom about my recent tubal ligation. Instead of the verbal beatdown I expected over…