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promarkchris's FML badges
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promarkchris's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 08/12/2011 at 6:40am / Australia (New South Wales) / Transportation
Today, I was getting my picture taken. The woman taking it told me to smile, so I did, showing my teeth. She said, "Please, be serious about this." Slightly offended, I smiled with my mouth closed. She then said, "If you can't be serious, we won't do this." FML
by wow / 08/09/2011 at 12:01am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by nomorecookies / 08/06/2011 at 1:53am / United States (Missouri) / Transportation
Today, my house was raided for drugs. I had to find out my father is a drug dealer. The cops then told me this wasn't their first time here, but it was the first time I was home to see it. They said it was nice to finally meet me. FML
by thehumanshield / 08/05/2011 at 4:41am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by ohcrap / 08/02/2011 at 12:58am / United States (Colorado) / Kids
by Taylor / 07/30/2011 at 1:14am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
Today, my husband threw out all of the spices in the cupboard. When I asked him why he said, "Our cat was named Spicy and I can't stand to look at them." Our recently deceased cat's name was Dicey. FML
by Tali / 07/28/2011 at 2:18am / Australia (Queensland) / Animals
by Anonymous / 07/25/2011 at 1:11pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Intimacy
by cheddar / 07/20/2011 at 6:17pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
Today, my girlfriend, who is very self conscious about her body, finally decided to have sex with me. She told me to wait a few minutes, so I did. I stripped and turned around to find her in a one-piece swimsuit, with a hole cut out of the crotch. FML
by Anonymous / 07/13/2011 at 1:02am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
Today, I was walking down the street to go to the movies, when I got punched in the back of the head. When I turned around, a stranger said, "HAHA! It's punch a random person day!" When I asked him why he chose me, he replied "You're ugly." FML
by ManInPain / 07/12/2011 at 12:46pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 07/02/2011 at 12:46am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Transportation
by ashleyrae / 06/29/2011 at 10:55am / United States (Mississippi) / Miscellaneous
Today, on the bus, a delusional old man had an extremely long conversation with me, referring to me as "Leslie" and talking about "our childhood together". Not wanting to hurt his feelings I played along. At his stop he got up and grinned at me, saying "I'm kidding. I never knew a Leslie in my life. Nice rack." FML
by Anonymous / 06/26/2011 at 2:12am / United States (Indiana) / Transportation
by animallover / 06/26/2011 at 1:39am / United States (Indiana) / Animals
- Today, I was driving in a straight line on a completely deserted road in the open bush. I sneezed… Today, I’m on vacation in Peru in the Amazonian forest. I woke up in the middle of the night to the… Today, I told my son off because he lost a form. A form that I later found in my right-hand pocket.…