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  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1226
  • Number of comments : 56
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 6 posted

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promarkchris's page activity

Visits<b>flyingflies</b> - the 04/07/2016 at 4:50pm<b>angelxs</b> - the 09/14/2015 at 6:00pm<b>Cautocracy</b> - the 06/02/2015 at 4:53am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 03/29/2015 at 6:24pm<b>ZelmaSlayer</b> - the 03/06/2015 at 2:26am<b>southernbellle</b> - the 05/01/2014 at 5:33pm<b>SokDek</b> - the 05/29/2013 at 5:23am<b>Daschundman</b> - the 05/19/2013 at 12:36am<b>capnbzarr</b> - the 02/22/2012 at 12:37pm

promarkchris's FML badges

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

One ring to rule them all

You submitted an FML that was successfully published on the website. This makes you an exceptional human being.

See all of promarkchris's badges

promarkchris's favorite FMLs

Today, I was using a public urinal when a man came up to use the one next to me. As he approached, he said, "Friendly spy plane inbound" and pretended to look at my knob. FML

by Anonymous / 08/12/2011 at 6:40am / Australia (New South Wales) / Transportation

Today, I was getting my picture taken. The woman taking it told me to smile, so I did, showing my teeth. She said, "Please, be serious about this." Slightly offended, I smiled with my mouth closed. She then said, "If you can't be serious, we won't do this." FML

by wow / 08/09/2011 at 12:01am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, someone broke into my car just to steal the freshly baked cookies in the back seat. They also left a thank you note. FML

by nomorecookies / 08/06/2011 at 1:53am / United States (Missouri) / Transportation

Today, my house was raided for drugs. I had to find out my father is a drug dealer. The cops then told me this wasn't their first time here, but it was the first time I was home to see it. They said it was nice to finally meet me. FML

by thehumanshield / 08/05/2011 at 4:41am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my son drew in Sharpie all over the wall, so I spanked him as punishment. When my boss came over for dinner, my son shouted, "Daddy made me take my punishment in the butt." FML

by ohcrap / 08/02/2011 at 12:58am / United States (Colorado) / Kids

Today, while having sex, my boyfriend decided to sing the Star Wars theme song as he entered his penis into me. FML

by Taylor / 07/30/2011 at 1:14am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, my husband threw out all of the spices in the cupboard. When I asked him why he said, "Our cat was named Spicy and I can't stand to look at them." Our recently deceased cat's name was Dicey. FML

by Tali / 07/28/2011 at 2:18am / Australia (Queensland) / Animals

Today, I got a completely random boner at a coffee shop, five seconds before two attractive women asked me to stand up and take their picture. FML

by Anonymous / 07/25/2011 at 1:11pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Intimacy

Today, I woke up feeling great. I opened up the blinds and looked out from my window just in time to see a man ripping my mailbox from the ground and sprinting away with it. FML

by cheddar / 07/20/2011 at 6:17pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend, who is very self conscious about her body, finally decided to have sex with me. She told me to wait a few minutes, so I did. I stripped and turned around to find her in a one-piece swimsuit, with a hole cut out of the crotch. FML

by Anonymous / 07/13/2011 at 1:02am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I was walking down the street to go to the movies, when I got punched in the back of the head. When I turned around, a stranger said, "HAHA! It's punch a random person day!" When I asked him why he chose me, he replied "You're ugly." FML

by ManInPain / 07/12/2011 at 12:46pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I found a very large pumpkin super-glued to my car. It will not come off. FML

by Anonymous / 07/02/2011 at 12:46am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Transportation

Today, my brother got a pet ferret. He told me it had a flexible spine, so I bent it backwards. It farted, and clawed my face. FML

by ashleyrae / 06/29/2011 at 10:55am / United States (Mississippi) / Miscellaneous

Today, on the bus, a delusional old man had an extremely long conversation with me, referring to me as "Leslie" and talking about "our childhood together". Not wanting to hurt his feelings I played along. At his stop he got up and grinned at me, saying "I'm kidding. I never knew a Leslie in my life. Nice rack." FML

by Anonymous / 06/26/2011 at 2:12am / United States (Indiana) / Transportation

Today, I found out that my beloved guinea pig has impaction. For the rest of his life it will be my duty to clean out his rectum manually every month, or every week/day if it gets worse. FML

by animallover / 06/26/2011 at 1:39am / United States (Indiana) / Animals