About prettyinpunk1025 : Hey the name is Sam... If you want to know anything about me, or just want to chat, send me a message. Although I'm usually on the app, so it may take me a while to respond.
prettyinpunk1025's FML badges
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
prettyinpunk1025's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 03/05/2011 at 6:43am / France (Alsace) / Love
Today, my girlfriend thought it would be sexy to stick her finger up my ass during sex. I screamed like a little girl and barely managed to finish. Afterward, she said, 'Now you know how it feels.' FML
by Anon. / 03/01/2011 at 6:51pm / United States (Washington) / Intimacy
by stupiddrunk / 02/28/2011 at 8:10pm / United Kingdom (London) / Health
by notagoodsign / 02/28/2011 at 5:55am / Netherlands (Noord-Holland) / Love
Today, after dealing with tons of drama and working a 14 hour shift, I took a shower. When I stepped out, a weak spot in the floor gave way. While falling through the floor I grabbed the toilet tank lid, which fell into the tank and broke it. Now my leg hurts and the bathroom's flooded. FML
by TheKingDavis / 02/14/2011 at 2:11am / United States (New Mexico) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 01/13/2011 at 9:38pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Kids
Today, was my boyfriends last night visiting my family. My dog decided to go through the trash, then ran up to my dad with one of our used condoms caught on her teeth. My parents didn't even know we were sleeping in the same room. They know a lot more now. FML
by ash / 01/04/2011 at 4:09pm / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy
by LoveMyNewBro / 01/04/2011 at 5:56am / Intimacy
Today, I went to the mall with my daughter. She asked me if she could go see Santa, so I said yes. She made me sit on his lap with her, and that's when I felt something on my bum. Let's just say Santa had a present for me. FML
Today, whilst pleasuring myself in my bedroom, I began absent-mindedly staring at a spider on the ceiling. It wasn't until the point of climax that I realised that I was, in effect, masturbating over a spider. FML
by Anonymous / 12/14/2010 at 7:00pm / United Kingdom (Gloucestershire) / Intimacy
by Heyy / 11/24/2010 at 12:55pm / United States (Washington) / Intimacy
Today, when I got home, I went into my room to find a Bratz doll and a Ken doll laying naked, on top of each other on my bed. Attached to them was a note that stated, "Please, use your imagination and find other ways besides porn to get excited. The computer keeps getting viruses. Love, Mom." FML
by sydysyd / 11/21/2010 at 6:43pm / United States (Washington) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 11/21/2010 at 9:49am / United States (Minnesota) / Intimacy
- 1Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 2Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's… 3Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his…