About prettyinpunk1025 : Hey the name is Sam... If you want to know anything about me, or just want to chat, send me a message. Although I'm usually on the app, so it may take me a while to respond.
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Today, I watched my dog chase his tail for ten minutes, thinking "wow, dogs are easily entertained." Then I realized that I'd been watching my dog chase his tail for 10 minutes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14159) - you deserved it (27341)
On 04/12/2011 at 10:20pm - animals - by Anonymous -
Today, I used my hair straightener to attempt to straighten my eyelashes and burned my eyelid. I don't know what's sadder, that fact I thought it would be fun, or that I was stupid enough to think I wouldn't hurt myself. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7414) - you deserved it (91195)
Today, I found that the love of my life is 3.5 inches, fully erect. My cell phone is bigger than that. FML
I agree, your life sucks (57571) - you deserved it (10127)
On 04/12/2011 at 12:00am - intimacy - by Artic (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, my dog was barking at a squirrel in the yard. I opened the door to let him chase the squirrel. I went to look at the dead squirrel and found out it was the neighbor's chihuahua. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18503) - you deserved it (31521)
On 04/09/2011 at 8:58pm - animals - by Sid (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was looking in my grandparents' drawers and cupboards to find a blanket, but instead found a stash of sex toys, and a male G-string with a horse on the front. The best bit? When you press the horse's nose, it neighs. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32090) - you deserved it (7246)
On 04/09/2011 at 1:46am - intimacy - by fuundmental/// - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I learned that when I leave skid marks in the toilet my wife uses my toothbrush to remove them. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28672) - you deserved it (34812)
On 04/02/2011 at 1:03am - misc - by Toothy (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was sitting beside a very cute girl on a 3 hour bus trip with my class. She fell asleep, head on my lap. She woke up because my erection was jabbing her in the cheek. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47506) - you deserved it (21370)
On 03/28/2011 at 4:13pm - intimacy - by dickface - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I got a call from my 8 year old son's teacher. Apparently, my kid has been charging girls a quarter to touch his "special area." FML
I agree, your life sucks (41727) - you deserved it (6420)
Today, at work I had to convince an 80 year old mental patient that she's not Ke$ha and that she really has to put her clothes back on. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41112) - you deserved it (3496)
On 03/22/2011 at 2:30pm - work - by Kim - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I was driving home at night, and got into an accident. Someone had left a toilet in the middle of the road. I hit it. The toilet's fine, but my car now has a toilet-shaped dent in the front. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26256) - you deserved it (4567)
On 03/22/2011 at 1:10pm - misc - by jballer - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, my wife created a "Points Reward" system for the privilege of sex. 10 points for doing the dishes, 20 for the laundry, etc. How many points do I need before I can have sex with her? 2300. FML
I agree, your life sucks (62285) - you deserved it (11793)
On 03/22/2011 at 10:59am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, I showed my colleagues how I could switch on my webcam at home from the office. That's how we all found out my wife is cheating on me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (88580) - you deserved it (4718) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Today, I learned why my credit score is so low. My mom stole my identity almost three years ago. Her excuse? "You didn't need good credit for anything anyways". FML
I agree, your life sucks (32724) - you deserved it (2244)
On 03/08/2011 at 10:21am - money - by MommyLovesMe (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I found my mother in tears, so I asked her what was wrong. She told me, "It's your father, he wants a divorce..." I asked if he'd met another woman, and my mom replied "No, not a woman..." FML
I agree, your life sucks (45156) - you deserved it (3521) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 03/05/2011 at 6:43am - love - by Anonymous - France (Alsace)
Today, my girlfriend thought it would be sexy to stick her finger up my ass during sex. I screamed like a little girl and barely managed to finish. Afterward, she said, 'Now you know how it feels.' FML
I agree, your life sucks (14068) - you deserved it (66820)
On 03/01/2011 at 6:51pm - intimacy - by Anon. (man) - United States (Washington)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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