Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

preacher09

Offline (the 09/27/2014 at 4:56am) | Search for a member

preacher09

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 20 January 1995 (19 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1694
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

preacher09's page activity

Visits<b>THEGREATROBERT</b> - the 03/15/2014 at 10:16am<b>Zoeythedinosaur</b> - the 02/16/2014 at 1:32pm<b>AdrianG</b> - the 01/23/2014 at 4:25am<b>10nachoman10</b> - the 12/08/2013 at 11:00am<b>jillytc</b> - the 11/16/2013 at 4:47pm<b>jadeluv</b> - the 10/01/2013 at 2:39pm<b>mooseapoo12</b> - the 09/08/2013 at 5:25pm<b>Tempted1</b> - the 09/08/2013 at 4:02pm<b>olpally</b> - the 08/25/2013 at 3:34pm<b>hellokittyxxx</b> - the 06/16/2013 at 5:25pm<b>Wizardo</b> - the 06/14/2013 at 4:47pm<b>1PersonIsMyWorld</b> - the 06/08/2013 at 12:49pm<b>MOLLMcAWESOME</b> - the 06/04/2013 at 6:15am<b>Welshite</b> - the 05/24/2013 at 4:54pm<b>pumboc</b> - the 05/24/2013 at 9:34am

preacher09's FML badges

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

See all of preacher09's badges

preacher09's favorite FMLs

Today, my dad called me into the bathroom, saying "Get a load of this shit, son" and forcing me to look at the biggest, foulest-smelling turd I have ever seen in my life in the toilet. It's been three hours and I still feel physically ill. FML

#21173465
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41846) - you deserved it (5306)

On 06/13/2014 at 4:17pm - health - by green and not with envy (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had dinner for the first time with my boyfriend's parents. It was awkward enough without his mom asking, "So, what do you do for fun, besides my son?" FML

#21173084
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46449) - you deserved it (5581)

On 06/13/2014 at 5:27am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my husband reorganized our fridge for the World Cup. He cleared everything out and filled it with beer and chips. FML

#21171761
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41423) - you deserved it (9963) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 06/12/2014 at 1:02am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was babysitting a little girl. I let her play with a box of old Star Wars toys to keep her occupied while I quickly went to use the bathroom, and when I returned she was making the 15 or so figures have a massive orgy, sex sounds included. FML

#21171266
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42854) - you deserved it (5115)

On 06/11/2014 at 6:46pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I woke up screaming like a little bitch. I'd been having a bizarre dream where I was having sex with Homer Simpson, when he suddenly had a heart attack and fell on me, crushing me to death. I think my brain needs a douching. FML

#21171240
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46669) - you deserved it (7006)

On 06/11/2014 at 6:20pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my psycho neighbor finished building a cannon. An honest-to-god, on-wheels, could-be-on-a-pirate-ship cannon. And now he's testing it in the forest by my house. I'm pretty scared for my life, to be honest. FML

#21171119
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40186) - you deserved it (4280)

On 06/11/2014 at 4:36pm - misc - by ldrik1 (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my family and I were on a road trip. Everything was fine until we discovered that my dad, the driver, was not only fast asleep, he was also snoring. We were in the middle of the highway. FML

#21170877
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47073) - you deserved it (4127)

On 06/11/2014 at 12:41pm - misc - by NextTimeMom'sDriving (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I put my headphones on and laid down to relax to some music. I fell asleep, and woke up later to a police officer busting into my house. My neighbor had been knocking on my door, then looked through my window and saw me on my couch, and was convinced I'd died. FML

#21168349
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50094) - you deserved it (4885)

On 06/09/2014 at 3:37pm - misc - by I'm Not Dead Yet - United States (Arizona)

Today, I clogged the only toilet at work. Thinking I could escape and blame someone else, I opened the door, only to see a line of people waiting outside. FML

#21168163
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43570) - you deserved it (15667)

On 06/09/2014 at 12:28pm - work - by deservedly - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I went to the restroom to pee. A loud fart exploded out of my ass and echoed in the toilet bowl. I could practically feel my face on fire when I saw the horrified look on a little girl's face as I walked out. FML

#21166563
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43184) - you deserved it (6113)

On 06/07/2014 at 10:34pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was playing some soccer with my buddies, when a kid came over, yelled "CUP CHECK!" and nailed me in the nuts then ran away laughing. Millions of my unborn children died in agony. All his fatass mom did was chuckle nervously and pat her satan-spawn on the head. FML

#21166299
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48086) - you deserved it (4884)

On 06/07/2014 at 5:16pm - health - by wish his dad had worn one (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I took some heavy pain medication before calling my boyfriend. I don't remember the call, but apparently confessed to really liking corn, and faking orgasms. FML

#21165912
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42864) - you deserved it (13120)

On 06/07/2014 at 9:31am - intimacy - by Screwed (woman) - Australia

Today, my long distance boyfriend told me no more nude pictures or sexting, as he's afraid the government will steal it all. FML

Today, I babysat the brattiest and most foul-mouthed 8-year-old I've ever met. After I survived three hours of it, his parents finally came home. He claimed I'd invited a boy over and that we did "stuff" on the couch all evening. They believed him. I didn't get paid, to say the least. FML

#21164043
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52900) - you deserved it (3846)

On 06/05/2014 at 4:05pm - kids - by bastards (woman) - Netherlands (Zuid-Holland)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Xmas illustrated FML
  • Here we go, final lap before Christmas is finally upon us. Although, you could say we've been subjected to quite a few strains of Christmas already. The decorations are up since mid-August, and certain family…

Friday 19 December 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: