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Today, my 4 year old asked to go outside and play in the sprinkler. I told him not right now because I was busy and he's too little to play outside by himself. I came out of the laundry room later to find he'd brought the sprinkler in the house and turned the water on. At least he listened. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24428) - you deserved it (6015)
On 08/20/2011 at 10:08am - kids - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I finally got over the knee injury that has been holding back my military application for 6 months. They sent me to the optometrist, who said my eyes were too bad for service. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21462) - you deserved it (1911)
On 08/17/2011 at 8:23pm - health - by sadface (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I thought it'd be funny to knee my sister's ass as she was bending over. What I didn't realise was that she was trying to pick up a spider. In shock, she threw it in the air and it landed on my chest. I ran into a wall trying to get it off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5433) - you deserved it (48234)
On 08/16/2011 at 6:17am - animals - by NaniNarcotic - Australia (Victoria)
Today, my mom was convinced that the lawn gnomes we bought from Wal-Mart were secretly conspiring to kill us. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23583) - you deserved it (2472)
On 08/16/2011 at 2:52am - misc - by Stevie - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my car was broken into, and they stole all my CDs, but left my daughter's Black Eyed Peas CD behind. I'm pretty pissed about the theft, but almost glad to see that the delinquents in my town have a decent taste in music. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22882) - you deserved it (2818)
On 08/11/2011 at 10:30pm - money - by Musicfan - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, some cops came to my house saying that the neighbors thought the party I was having was too loud and obnoxious. It was my grandmother's 86 birthday party. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21554) - you deserved it (1797)
On 08/07/2011 at 9:49pm - misc - by Paul - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I was sitting in the hospital waiting area. An old lady was crying, and my five year old daughter asked her, "Are you okay?" The woman quietly nodded, prompting my daughter to scream at the top of her lungs, "Well shut up then!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (28538) - you deserved it (8922)
On 08/06/2011 at 9:40pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my eight year old son came to me and said he thinks it's time he started wearing bras. It turns out his older brother has been mind-fucking him for the past several months and has him convinced it's something all boys his age do. I can't convince him otherwise. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28520) - you deserved it (2520)
On 08/06/2011 at 7:37pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)
Today, I finally started doing cardio and getting in shape. What motivated me to do it? Watching a zombie movie. The slow ones bite the dust first. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21606) - you deserved it (7041)
On 08/03/2011 at 12:55pm - health - by indierocklove - United States (Virginia)
Today, I realized that as a U.S. Marine in the infantry, I'm more afraid to talk to girls than I am of getting shot at. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34274) - you deserved it (4134)
On 08/03/2011 at 3:40am - love - by Tim - United States
Today, my boss sat me down to discuss the sounds my co-workers have heard coming from my cubicle. Apparently my music sounds like the background tracks from shitty soft-core porn movies. I'm getting a three day suspension while they go through all my files. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22399) - you deserved it (4228)
On 08/02/2011 at 1:47pm - work - by ImScrewed (man) - United States (California)
Today, the crazy cat lady who lives next to me lost one of her cats. She sat outside with a whistle at 6:00 this morning and continued to blow her whistle for hours. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20729) - you deserved it (1637)
On 08/01/2011 at 12:41am - animals - by Username - United States
Today, my friends and I went to the strip club for my birthday. I now know how my sister is paying for her new car. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45943) - you deserved it (5586)
On 07/23/2011 at 8:09pm - misc - by assante2010 - United States (Maine)
Today, I tried to comfort my daughter who'd been crying non-stop for hours. She thinks Chuck Norris is coming to kill her, and I can't convince her otherwise. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29395) - you deserved it (3707)
On 07/01/2011 at 1:42pm - kids - by parenting sucks - United States (New York)
Today, my grandpa told us he wanted to fit in. His idea of fitting in is streaking in a park at 4:00 pm. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23091) - you deserved it (2400)
On 06/27/2011 at 8:16am - misc - by Nice 2 inch - Canada (Ontario)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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